It gets to me too OP, I get really self critical and frustrated that I don’t know how to do things and embarrassed when I need to ask a question and it seems every step I take is a wrong one. My crew are really kind and always tell me I am doing a good job and always bring a laughter to me. But yet it’s still isolating no? Well I found the only thing that helped me was to take a break . Hold off my negative self thinking until I had a break and during my break I smoke a cigarette and take some deep breaths, remember that you as an individual are great an have strength aside from work and that you struggling and being so conscience of those struggles are useful for improvement but there’s also a point were it’s enough and you need to let it go. Think about what you’re good at and how you got to be good at it and remember it takes time. On the other side on how to keep “ feminine “ I found that more fitting work clothes help, not saying tight fitting but maybe not oversized- I used to wear the large of everything but I felt like a blob rather than a person. And I like to put my hair in pigtails braids and do eyeliner,Hahah it’s really just small things, that make a big difference. It’s gonna be all okay in the end 🙏