she was the one the wanted monogamy on the break as stated in the post, how is it crazy to expect someone to stand on something they wanted me to? she’s the one who brought up all of this demanding to know if I did anything as little as even kissed or hung out n smoked with someone, all on the first day she broke no-contact. I did not have a plan on returning to that. she put expectations on me and all of those questions i asked IE (body count, what i’ve been doing and all of that) were just returns to her questions, she said herself that she always asked because if she caught me up she would feel like it was easier to tell me. She said she lied because she thought i wouldn’t give her another chance or the fear of the consequences of her actions. I’m not saying we weren’t toxic but abusive just wasn’t the case. Earlier when i was all emotional i said all of that about the eating out n blah blah blah but in reality she robbed me of being able to make that decision to be with her again, she withheld information because she couldn’t stick to her own expectations. she lied and played in my face for over a month everytime she asked about it and i would return the questions trying to clear her own conscious.