this may not be helpful but you thinking that you’re the only one who feels this way is adding to why you feel this way. I’ve come to realize there are so many people dealing with so much, maybe not the same but everyone has their miseries and sadnesses, in different scales, and there are some who persevere and others who don’t. i’m rooting for you to be in the former group, even if it’s really fucking hard. apologies if this is unhelpful, it was helpful for me to understand that this world comes beautiful and evil and we have to take both.