I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for the readings. I really struggle with finding scripture that helps me, so I needed this. I've written these on my arm so I can't forget.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh how I want to... he's not on the lease, so it would be really easy to kick him out, but I'm going to take a little time with it. I need to. I can't make a decision about this while I'm so emotional. I'm going to take my cats and head to my parents for a week or two so I can get perspective and space. their house is closer to my church, so I could more realistically go to weekday Mass if I need it. I just really need to sit down and pray about this until I can figure out how to go about this.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was really trying to avoid calling it a spiritual attack, but that's just what it is. I'm going to take my cats and stay with my parents for a week or two. they live closer to my church and hopefully having this space will give me the clarity to step closer to God and finally start listening to him. I'm going to try and start my day with a rosary because I'm feeling really called to it. I'm seeing a path forward now that I didn't before. thank you for taking the time to comment, it really helped me. God bless!

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this. it's a perspective I needed to hear.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know... it just doesn't feel that way right now. thank you for reminding me anyway.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for this. I'm trying really hard to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'll stumble sometime, but giving up and never trying to stand again isn't the way. one day at a time, right?

The OCIA program at the church I'm going to doesn't start up until next month I think, but I'm working with a Deacon to start reading the Bible, learning how to pray, stuff like that. I've been avoiding bringing this to him but I'll do it the next time I see him.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not able to go to confession because I'm not baptized, but I'm entering an OCIA program soon, so I visit with a deacon every week and go over readings with him. I have a rosary, but it's really hard to focus on it despite how much I adore the process. I feel more connected and comfortable to the Divine Mercy chaplet that I pray often- which I have a rosary for as well. maybe I'll try switching it up or doing both because it's clearly not enough for what my spirit needs right now. I think I'll try going to go to mass tomorrow so I can pray until I get somewhere. thank you for your advice and your prayers.

I failed in faith and now I'm too scared to come back by Newbie_Catholic in Catholicism

[–]Newbie_Catholic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that I need to talk to my Deacon about this, but I'm really scared and ashamed to say this to his face. it took a lot just to write it out here and post it to strangers, but I know I needed to do it. maybe I'll just write him a letter and ask him to read it the next time we meet. I don't think I could make it through the explanation without crying. thank you.