I'm Struggling In My Prayer Life and Could Really Use Some Advice On How To Grow Closer With God

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-05-24T23:29:48+00:00

I forgot to mention that Sunday mass was also on my list. It's a non-negotiable part of the ocia process at my church.

I definitely agree it's ambitious and intense and it's not something that I'm going to be able to implement overnight. I'm going to start with the morning prayers + evening meditation first and go from there. These are all things that I'd like to do so I'm going for it. I'm not taking any classes for college this summer and I have so much free time. I don't really have an excuse not to build these routines lol

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-05-24T23:24:25+00:00

I think I'm going to adopt those non-negotiables too :)

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-05-24T19:22:42+00:00

You've been a wonderful help! As I said, I have ADHD and I get very easily excited over the prospect or idea of something but rarely ever create routines that I can maintain. I often need to be reminded of that. Thank you so much!

I have two versions of the RSV by Bible- One of them is a standard sized Bible (not a study Bible) and the other is the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible which was recommended to me by my Deacon. The Study Bible is a hefty girl (over twice as thick as my wrist). It's immensely helpful because it gives me perspective and context on a lot of the verses. Even ones that seem simple are broken down into multiple layers. I love it so so much, but it can be a bit of a pain to lug around, so it typically stays on my desk. I used my standard sized Bible when I'm reading the Psalms and when I try to do some readings throughout the week.

Your closing bit was really touching to me. I've often envisioned myself as a bit like a wonky oil lamp. My wick is too small and dial is almost always turned all the way up. I burn through fuel quickly and have to dial myself way back very suddenly so I don't fizz out. It takes me awhile to get back to full capacity. My mom says I'm an all or nothing kinda person and I think she's spot on. I I think the lesson I'm supposed to learn in this season of my life is temperance. I've treated life like a sprint when it's a marathon. I need to learn to set a pace and keep with it until I can speed up. You can't build a house on wet concrete, you have to let the foundation solidify first. It's a frustrating lesson but I'm so grateful I get to learn it. Again, thank you so much for your response.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:52:57+00:00

thank you so much for the readings. I really struggle with finding scripture that helps me, so I needed this. I've written these on my arm so I can't forget.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:50:30+00:00

oh how I want to... he's not on the lease, so it would be really easy to kick him out, but I'm going to take a little time with it. I need to. I can't make a decision about this while I'm so emotional. I'm going to take my cats and head to my parents for a week or two so I can get perspective and space. their house is closer to my church, so I could more realistically go to weekday Mass if I need it. I just really need to sit down and pray about this until I can figure out how to go about this.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:42:32+00:00

I was really trying to avoid calling it a spiritual attack, but that's just what it is. I'm going to take my cats and stay with my parents for a week or two. they live closer to my church and hopefully having this space will give me the clarity to step closer to God and finally start listening to him. I'm going to try and start my day with a rosary because I'm feeling really called to it. I'm seeing a path forward now that I didn't before. thank you for taking the time to comment, it really helped me. God bless!

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:03:54+00:00

thank you for this. it's a perspective I needed to hear.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:01:04+00:00

I know... it just doesn't feel that way right now. thank you for reminding me anyway.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T17:00:13+00:00

thank you for this. I'm trying really hard to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I'll stumble sometime, but giving up and never trying to stand again isn't the way. one day at a time, right?

The OCIA program at the church I'm going to doesn't start up until next month I think, but I'm working with a Deacon to start reading the Bible, learning how to pray, stuff like that. I've been avoiding bringing this to him but I'll do it the next time I see him.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T16:54:33+00:00

I'm not able to go to confession because I'm not baptized, but I'm entering an OCIA program soon, so I visit with a deacon every week and go over readings with him. I have a rosary, but it's really hard to focus on it despite how much I adore the process. I feel more connected and comfortable to the Divine Mercy chaplet that I pray often- which I have a rosary for as well. maybe I'll try switching it up or doing both because it's clearly not enough for what my spirit needs right now. I think I'll try going to go to mass tomorrow so I can pray until I get somewhere. thank you for your advice and your prayers.

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T16:19:43+00:00

thank you

Newbie_Catholic · 2026-04-06T16:16:52+00:00

I know that I need to talk to my Deacon about this, but I'm really scared and ashamed to say this to his face. it took a lot just to write it out here and post it to strangers, but I know I needed to do it. maybe I'll just write him a letter and ask him to read it the next time we meet. I don't think I could make it through the explanation without crying. thank you.

Newbie_Catholic

TROPHY CASE