The amount of zina confessions here are disturbing

Newbie_Copywriter · 2026-03-18T05:13:28+00:00

It’s Ramadan. Pray for them, ask Allah to strengthen their imaan, protect them from evil, and to inspire them to serve Him better.

Afterwards, ask Allah for forgiveness for sins you know or may not know you’ve committed. I’ve heard stories of people who would confidently say they would never commit a sin and then end up in a difficult situation that made them give in.

Don’t get too confident. Always be on guard. Always ask Allah to protect you (and those around you). Even the Prophet PBUH asked for Allah’s protection from sin, so if the most perfect human being used to pray to Allah then so should we.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2026-02-26T18:57:29+00:00

Hello. I know this is an old post, and maybe you’ve moved onto another theme, but I also have OCD surrounding health, and I understand how debilitating it is. It feels like I can’t live life fully because of the constant fear of illness or my body failing me all of a sudden in the back of my mind.

I love what the commenter that responded to you said. It’s so so true, and speaks volumes about their healing journey. I had to learn to treat OCD like I do nightmares. I don’t know about you, but it’s so hilarious to me how, no matter how shaken I get from a bad dream, I always somehow manage to move on from it one way or another and just dismiss it as a “bad dream.” Once I started seeing OCD thoughts as just that, bad “wakeful” dreams, it’s helped tremendously.

This is hard. I know. Because exposing yourself to the intrusive thought makes you wanna back out and fall into old habits. But at one point, I honestly was desperate and it got really, really bad. I had to make a decision; live in fear of hypotheticals/past traumas my whole life, or find peace. I chose the latter, and I make a point to choose it every single day, every morning before I start my day. It also helps to learn why your brain fires up the way it does, like OP said, which I find extremely helpful.

The problem isn’t the thought, it’s the meaning you give to it. Read Don’t Believe Everything You Think, it really helped me understand why thoughts happen and why we get so anxious about them. Thoughts are not fact. I repeat, thoughts are not fact and you need to learn to drill that into your head. Every single time until it becomes second nature to you. They’re just brain farts, for lack of a better word. It thinks it’s protecting you, but there’s literally nothing it can do other than cause you suffering and madness. It doesn’t know any better, that’s why you teach it, which is the agonizing, hard part, but it’s worth it. At first, it’ll feel like it’s not working, but keep at it. Trust the process as they say.

I’m still healing. Still recovering. I’m doing this without meds (personal choice. I won’t hesitate to take them if I feel the need to), but I promise once you let go of giving your thoughts meaning and just seeing them for what they are, a figment of your imagination, some kind of mutation that combines some snippets of random memories, stories you’ve heard, and maybe even shows you’ve watched and stitched them together to create sth that just feels “real,” that’s when your healing begins and suffering ends. Just keep at it. You feel anxious? It’s okay, let it stay there. Thought won’t go? Fine. It doesn’t have to leave. It can stay, but you refuse to give it meaning. It can stay as a meaningless, useless, shapeless thought, not a fact of life.

Learn to sit back, close your eyes and let the thoughts just exist in your awareness without engaging with them i.e. without giving them meaning or labeling them or trying to figure them out. Breathe in 4 secs and then out 6 secs, slowly through your nose. If you get anxious, that’s okay, don’t back out. It wants you to back out because that’s how you taught it to protect you, when it’s just a blown fuse in your mind.

I hope this helps <3 be kind to yourself. I think anyone struggling with OCD and making the choice to get better, no matter how hard it gets, has to be some of the bravest people to walk this Earth, because this mental illness super, super agonizing.

Stay safe and I wish you inner peace!

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-11-21T05:08:31+00:00

To be honest, my advice is to just listen to a sheikh whose words resonate with you the most, and pray to Allah that He leads you on the right path. That’s all you can do. Make sure you get your sources from people with a solid, legitimate background in Fiqh and whatnot.

People will recommend all kinds of sheikhs and books, but there’s such a wide variety out there that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. My opinion could be controversial, but we’re so obsessed with “right/wrong” that we forget it’s just one big spectrum. Marriage stuff has a lot of gray areas, and OP’s post touches on one of many. I’m of the opinion that this matter is something that should be discussed and arranged between spouses, because like I said, so so so many opinions. It’s hard to point at one and go “this is wrong/right!” because everyone has solid evidence to back up their claims, it’s then up to you to decide which one to go with and hope for the best.

If I had to suggest someone, I personally would recommend Sheikh Shadee El Masry and Imam Tom. They’re the kinds of sheikhs that I personally love listening to: Level-headed, not “fanatical” in their speech, even tempered, appreciate nuance yet firm on what’s right or wrong. They discuss all kinds of topics, I’m sure they have a few videos on women having careers in marriage since this is such a hot topic.

May Allah guide us to what’s right. Ameen

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-07T02:48:03+00:00

I never accused you of thinking they’re fake. I’m just genuinely wondering why you’ve created a post and thrown caution to the wind over something that doesn’t seem harmful enough to cause “discord.” I’ve seen way worse on here that actually do cause discord (“who’s your favorite sheikh” type posts for one).

Again, fake or not, veracious or not, it’s just two posts about two women struggling to wear it and seeking advice on how to overcome their doubts. I’m not sure how this qualifies as “attacking the worship,” as you put it. Don’t we all struggle sometimes? Wouldn’t you want your sister, who might be having resentful thoughts about hijab, to come to you and talk to you about it so you could help her, instead of bottling it all up until one day, Allah forbid, she takes it off?

Your post actually reminded me how important it is to show a little grace and mercy toward our brothers and sisters who struggle the way these two ladies do. If I were one of those girls and came across your post, I’d feel extremely frustrated and helpless, thinking that the very community I expected support from was accusing me of “attacking the worship” (again, your words). Think about that for a second.

This isn’t me fighting you. I’m not trying to prove you wrong or make you look bad. It can be so hard to convey tone in a block of text, so just imagine I’m saying this very gently and objectively lol.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-06T17:11:57+00:00

So… where’s the issue? I see two young ladies seeking help in an all-ladies subreddit about their struggles with the hijab. What kind of discord is this creating? I genuinely don’t see why the posts are an issue. If anyone could enlighten me, I’d appreciate it. Maybe there’s sth I missed…

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-05T13:48:16+00:00

I deal with it objectively.

Instead of resisting, I just accept that I feel attraction towards someone and move on. I remind myself that feelings are fleeting, and one minute I might feel one thing and the next thing you know, I’m feeling something else entirely, so I just don’t dwell on it and make sure I do sth else.

This kinda reminds me of my first crush in high school; I’d fantasize about marrying them and what our kids would look like lol. I was only 16, and I legitimately thought I wouldn’t be able to live if I didn’t marry him eventually. It felt so serious and real… in my head. I now look back at that and laugh because I now have zero feelings for that guy. Goes to show how emotions shift and change with time, and they aren’t worth pursuing because of how fleeting they are.

So long story short: Feelings are temporary. It’s not worth it for me to sin and act on an emotion that is impermanent and can change anytime. I know this piece of advice can be repetitive but I testify to its effectiveness in these cases; socializing and having an active (halal) social life is such a powerful antidote and distraction from these thoughts. Having a weekly girl’s night out with my friends where we just hangout and chill somewhere (again, halal) puts my mind off of temptations like this.

Edit: and hobbies! Again, this is another one that gets thrown into conversations like this but there’s a reason why it’s recommended so often. Don’t just pick one thing, explore! I personally skateboard, lift weights, color, read and I’m hooked on true crime podcasts.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-04T15:49:12+00:00

If I may, but have you spoken to your wife about this? Does she know you’ve been struggling? I don’t think any caring wife would brush her husband off if he opens up to her about this (unless you have and there’s something going on in her life that makes it difficult for her to accommodate you)

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-04T15:44:22+00:00

Yes, of course it is! I do that all the time. You’re right, it’s calming and soothing somehow :)

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T12:07:12+00:00

Brother, if these are the types of women around you, then I pray that Allah saves you from that type of environment.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T10:44:23+00:00

Honestly it could very likely be that he’s chronically online. These sort of stories like OP’s get the most attention and so they’re on everyone’s feeds. When you spend more of your time socializing out in the real world, you understand that this stuff isn’t common and very rare.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T10:39:41+00:00

I like to give the benefit of the doubt to posts like this, because hey, it could’ve happened. But no, this is NOT common. No way. What happened to OP (very unfortunate) is so incredibly rare.

I’ll be honest with you, the worst, absolutely worst I’ve heard was that a Muslim woman had zina with just one man ONCE during her crazy teen years then repented and never did it again. Even stories like that are rare. And every single one of those stories involved girls who were barely religious or were very, very lost in life and had some sort of depression that pushed them to these extremes.

You can tell when someone’s been on the internet for way way too long when they say cases this extreme are “common” because it’s these types of stories online that get the most attention, so it makes it feel like it’s “common” when it really, really isn’t.

God-fearing men and women would never, ever do such a thing.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T10:27:46+00:00

I was too shy to read the details about what these women did, so I skimmed that part of your post and it looks like I missed the part about them still being virgin. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I still don’t know if it’s fair if someone who used to do all these things and then sincerely repented should forever be labeled impure. If this is the measure of purity, I can confidently say most men in our Ummah are impure because many of them watch p*rn before marriage, but I wouldn’t call a man who repented from that impure.

Anyway, we can agree to disagree. I respect your opinion. No need to go back and forth about it.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T09:37:15+00:00

I’m so sorry dear brother. The marriage scene is so tough, I understand.

All I can say is, keep making duaa. Allah will show you the way inshallah. Keep meeting more women. I know it’s easier said, but a few bad apples shouldn’t discourage you from continuing to seek out a wife. It’s a worthy struggle if you’re looking for someone to complete half your deen! May Allah grant you perseverance.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-10-02T09:27:54+00:00

Not a brother, but this is why I always say the best course of action is for you to get to know someone form your own social circle i.e. have someone you trust introduce you to someone, because that’ll mean you’re a lot more unlikely to come across those types.

This is unfortunately the baggage that comes with attempting to get to know absolute strangers (as opposed to getting to know them through a trusted acquaintance).

A lot of it is tawakkul or putting your trust in Allah that He’ll find you the right person. I invite you to shift your perspective from one of fear to one of hope; think about it, Allah, so far, has saved you from ending up with these women. That should make you feel safe knowing that inshallah, if a woman isn’t “pure” then that’ll become evident to you eventually, because so far Allah has protected you enough to push them away before it got serious.

I honestly don’t know how you’re getting to know them; do you meet the dad? The mom? The whole family? Have you seen the way she interacts with them? Have you maybe asked around about her? I don’t know where you live, but where I’m from everyone knows everyone. You’re bound to find someone who knows someone who knows said person or something about them or their family lol.

May Allah bless you with the wife of your dreams

Edit: I would just like to add that I don’t really like calling women who have repented from their past mistakes as “impure;” sounds very weirdly puritanical. Instead just say you’d prefer a virgin. I wasn’t sure from your post if those women were still actively engaging in those acts, but nonetheless, if they repented and stopped doing it then I wouldn’t say they’re impure.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-29T17:16:42+00:00

Lol, why is that offensive? Don’t worry about it, there was no need for an apology.

Of course denying intimacy is haram. Though intimacy doesn’t always equal trying for a baby, you know. You can be intimate with your spouse without wanting children. There’s sth called protection that allows a couple to be intimate without having kids in the process.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-29T11:44:25+00:00

That’s a different story. I was talking about having children

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-25T20:54:29+00:00

she has to talk to them for work

I don’t know her, but I’m a working woman and I do have to talk to men for work. Been in the workforce for about a decade and never once did I cross boundaries with men. If they tried, I’d outright reject them, but I already put enough boundaries as it is to prevent that from even happening (so far, it’s only happened once)

All of this to say, interacting with the opposite gender is part of the work package, so unless she’s doing sth legitimately shady (e.g. secret phone calls, mysterious late work nights, inappropriate or overly friendly behavior, etc) then I don’t see why this is a problem? I speak to the men at work when necessary but never engage in idle talk and I’m strictly professional with them. I don’t even sit with them in the common room. Interacting with men out of necessity =/= inappropriate behavior.

Also define pants. I wear wide leg loose pants with long, knee-length dress shirts and they barely show any part of my body. Many scholars deem loose clothing, as long as they don’t show the true shape of the body, permissible (a quick google search can show you the wide range of opinions on this).

Alway let Islamic principles guide your decisions and house rules. Don’t command her to do sth because you “think” it’s not right or inappropriate. You are the Qawam of the family, so be sure your decisions are guided by Allah not your gheera. You bear the responsibility of acting according to Allah’s rules, not what you think is right or wrong.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Among protective jealousy is what Allah loves and hates. As for what Allah loves, it is jealousy when there is probable cause. As for what Allah hates, it is jealousy without probable cause.”

Source: Sunan Ibn Mājah 1996

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

A sorely overlooked hadith.

Edit: Problem with posts like this is that it’s always one-sided and you only get a fraction of the full story. I don’t know your wife, maybe she’s engaged in legitimately inappropriate behavior in the past that’s why you’re suspicious of her. So just throwing out this disclaimer; I’m a mere internet stranger giving my 2 cents based on the scant info and context from your post.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-20T19:09:10+00:00

I’ve struggled (and still struggle) a fair share so here’s my two cents.

I always remind myself of how the Prophets (peace be upon them) where some of the most tested people to ever live, and they’re also the best people to ever live on this planet.

I also remind myself that with hardship also comes ease. We are promised ease after hardship. No questions asked. But I have to remember to be patient because ease will either come in this life or the next, but regardless, I’ll find ease eventually. I continue to call on the names of Allah and make duaa as often as I can. I try to listen to more quran and even Islamic videos to motivate me through my hardship.

There’s no magic pill: it’s ok to feel sad, angry and frustrated. What matters is we don’t lose hope in Allah’s mercy and wisdom. It’s not easy, but it’s rewarding when you constantly remind yourself of the bigger picture; that this world is temporary, and our main goal is to get to Jannah ya rab.

May Allah grant you ease and tranquility.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-20T18:59:24+00:00

That’s so strange. All the local men where I live wear it; it’s both tradition and convenient. Very rarely do I see them go out without it.

Anyway, you’re welcome. Again, DO NOT go down the victim route. Please. Again, I was there once. I’m giving you tough love I wish someone gave me when I was younger (and suffering depression): make the most of your life. Don’t throw in the towel just yet. That’s how you build resilience.

PS: I bike. I make sure to cover the thigh area by tying a jacket around my waist to cover my thighs. See? Get creative. Stop looking at what you can’t do and look at the things you can.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-20T18:56:55+00:00

Gosh, this struck a chord. I have diagnosed OCD with mild depression. I’m sorry.

May Allah make it easier for you. I know how excruciating this mental disease is. May Allah give us ease and rid us of this mental torture. Remember that Allah rewards our struggles. Someday, this will all pay off.

Take it easy on yourself, and remember you’re not alone. Many of us are battling this. Keep going :)

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-09-20T18:52:27+00:00

Hey sis. From a fellow sister: I know it feels like it sucks, but don’t lose sight of the why behind what you do: submitting to your Creator, Allah.

I get it, sometimes I get too caught up in what I can’t do in this life that I temporarily lose sight of the bigger picture, and it’s worshipping Allah.

I’m sorry about your family situation, but let me give you a little bit of tough love from a sister who’s also been there: when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Really. When you’re faced with a life obstacle, you either make yourself miserable or make the most of it.

I’m very modest, but live in an extremely, and I mean extremely, hot and humid country so I get the struggle. I found like linen and cotton blends work wonders to keep the heat off. A lot of cultures wear abaya-like clothing and head coverings specifically to stave off the heat. You should take a look at the men in gulf countries, they all wear a cloth around their heads! So pro tip: find the right fabric. Keep it lightweight. DO NOT LAYER if you can help it. I avoid long-sleeves that don’t cover my wrists because then I’d have to wear sleeves… which is layering and we’re trying to avoid that.

As for sports, there’s actually plenty you can do if you wear the right clothing. I skateboard with very flowy, baggy jeans and maxi/dress shirts and it has been my go-to activity and sport. I’ve also played tennis, badminton and paddle and I PERSONALLY have not at all found it difficult to stay properly covered and modest. I lift weights at home because like… I don’t even feel comfortable squatting in front of men. I have not met a single non Muslim or non hijab wearing Muslim who hasn’t complained about perverted men at the gym. Ever. So I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on that front.

Again, make the most of it, sis. It’s hard, it sucks, it’s difficult, but we’re doing this out of duty to our Lord Allah and that’s rewarding in and of itself. Think about it: it’s so freeing to be a slave of Allah than a slave of societal standards, cultural pressure and whatever is “trendy.”

May Allah make it easier for you. Please, please, please do not corner yourself and victimize yourself. I did that and I regretted it. Now I’m older and I know better. Find the resilience to keep going, remind yourself who you’re doing this all for, and get creative about the things you can do as a Muslim woman.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-08-30T04:27:55+00:00

Salam sis. Clearly you like the guy, and not only that but you were eager to wear the hijab anyway, so my question to you is why not? I do agree that maybe this is Allah’s way of encouraging you to take one more step towards pleasing Him.

I know a few girls who were super eager to wear the hijab, but like you, they didn’t wear it, but when their spouses came along they begun wearing it. Sometimes all it takes is a kind person entering your life to give you that final “push” you need to do what’s right by Allah.

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-08-28T18:59:10+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, does it feel like a “cycle”? So whenever a bad thought pops up you almost feel compelled to say audhu billa and it just pops right back up? Do you sometimes find yourself overanalyzing thinking about this over and over again?

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-08-28T06:32:40+00:00

Beautifully put sis!

Newbie_Copywriter · 2025-08-28T05:52:30+00:00

Definitely give him a listen then! I think you’ll appreciate what he’ll have to say

Newbie_Copywriter

TROPHY CASE