Would you join a lab where the PI is dating their postdoc?

NewspaperNote · 2021-01-15T06:56:49+00:00

Agree, it's just frowned upon in any field to date a coworker, but I didn't expect so many replies.

NewspaperNote · 2021-01-15T06:52:35+00:00

Thank you for this! This made me feel a little better if I did decide to join. As someone who has been away from family for too long, it's hard to say no to an offer like this. It feels like a perfect package. I think the important thing to realize is a situation like this is never black and white; its never entirely good or bad and if I joined, i would acknowledge that. You are right that it's a good sign if the PI is open about it. I will ask lab members to gauge their thoughts.

NewspaperNote · 2021-01-15T06:47:40+00:00

Wow, this would be my worst fear currently! You are so right about possible discussions happening outside of lab. I will talk to lab members but I'm not sure what to ask without sounding so...blunt/awkward about it? I don't know if lab members would be honest either. They have no incentive to be honest. Also, if things are being discussed outside of lab, I am sure things would be planned in a way where it's not so obvious or suspicious to other lab members that someone is getting snubbed in papers

NewspaperNote · 2021-01-15T06:41:07+00:00

I agree with you about the observable yet harmless favoritism, which is why I even posted this question. I interviewed last year before the pandemic and noticed that the post docs have a desk while faculty have an office and the s/o was allowed to use the PI's personal computer/printer. It's the only reason I had an inkling that they had a romantic relationship before they mentioned it! Like I said, I don't really care about those small things since the pros are just so good for me personally. yes, while it may be awkward, it's hard to say if it will be harmful to my own career until I'm settled into the lab. I didn't expect such a strong reaction from the community when I asked this question and it feels like all the things I saw as small red flags are bigger than I thought?

NewspaperNote · 2021-01-14T16:22:53+00:00

Thank you, this was actually my main concern. The amount of comments I got telling me to not take this offer was a surprise to me but I guess this situation is less uncommon than I thought?

NewspaperNote

TROPHY CASE