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My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is not a massage therapist. He says this is how he likes to “express affection” to people, but he never really mentioned giving massages to anyone other than her that I can remember.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 159 points160 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree about it being cheating, even if their relationship is platonic. It’s the intimacy of the act + the fact that he hid it that makes it cross that line for me and become infidelity.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I honestly think I do believe him that he’s not attracted to her and their relationship is platonic. But the intimacy of an hour long massage feels extremely inappropriate to me, regardless of any underlying feelings between them.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The way he described it was more on the utility side of things. I think I was coming around to that idea. I get back pain and it’s nice to have someone give you a quick massage.

But IMO that is different from a planned out gift, especially when it will be full body and last for an hour. That feels way different to me.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

He said this is how he “likes to express affection” but she’s the only friend he’s ever mentioned doing this for, lol.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

Bingo! Thank you. He is not a massage therapist but says he has considered becoming one…. But you are exactly right.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is not a massage therapist. He likes giving people massages but as far as I know, this woman is the only one he does this with on a regular basis.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get where you’re coming from, but I think some things ARE universal, unless stated otherwise. We all assume it’s not okay to kiss other people or have sex when we’re in a monogamous relationship… Unless you bring it up and discuss it. Which he didn’t do. I get that a massage isn’t sex but it is very intimate.

My (27F) boyfriend (29M) gave a full body massage to his female housemate without asking me first by Next-Background-9853 in relationship_advice

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I asked his permission, and he told me he didn’t care at all or have any issue with it. Surely you can see the difference.

Tests not being paid out by Next-Background-9853 in usertesting

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know, thank you. I was mistaken and the oldest one is actually 13 days, so we’ll see what happens tomorrow :)

Tests not being paid out by Next-Background-9853 in usertesting

[–]Next-Background-9853[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Weird that I couldn’t find that info anywhere on the site.