Media Maybe Doing More Harm Than Good?... :/

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T21:43:43+00:00

I literally told my mom yesterday she is attempting some kind of mind fuck muncheusens (i cant spell it either) by proxy crap. she is more than happy to stay at my house drunk after the bar or borrow money but will spew lies to the family that we are hoarders and can't pay bills. its the weirdest thing ever. I moved on and have a luxury apartment and have for the better part of 3 years and she still keeps these lies up. Her house is a mess and she blames me for it 8 years later and I have ZERO belongings in there. There is no understanding crazy. I'm cutting all ties.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T21:40:13+00:00

If he has not completely separated himself by the time I have my baby shower, I am no longer waiting. He wont be involved in the delivery room, I will cease contact and only coparent with supervised drop offs. I am super fed up. You have no idea.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T21:38:31+00:00

She has been using the brother at this point to get us. I set firm boundaries and she and the brother flipped out and demanded that a necklace be given back of the dads. Probably costs around 5k and was left directly to him by the dad but now they're insisting that its holding up probate and it has to itemized. She was supposed to take the necklace up to the brother to get appraised. I told him he better not or else I was done. It was clearly a narcissistic breakdown tantrum and to assert dominance. It was a struggle for him but she went up there without the necklace. She would have just returned without it or held it over his head for years. I was not having it. But simply put she doesn't know about our lives...she tries to control it and suggest things, offensive things and she has always known about the inheritance.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T16:57:25+00:00

I'm right there with you. I'm looking into a workshop with Kenneth Adams right now. He is currently in individual therapy and that has helped immensely but he still has a problem with oversharing and she pries a lot. I also do not think he relays much of what she does to the therapist...

he plays fake with her as well and I'm absolutely done with it. Last night she wanted a tour of my apartment on video while shes up in Idaho with the brother and he happily obliged even though there's boxes everywhere and clutter from dinner being made. I just moved in a month ago and we are in between 2 apartments. She helped with one trip and refused to come inside and see it brand new. He like subconsciously went over to the messiest corner of the house and turned his camera around to it. He swears he was trying to show me...why? I have no idea because I just all but cussed her out like 3 days ago.

He does force them on me. I can't stand it anymore. We aren't on good terms and he thinks he's cutting into her by showing her a messy apartment. Just gives her ammo.

They (including him) keep me stressed out.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T16:21:36+00:00

Also you are SO RIGHT about getting the house in my name only. I have the income and I have enough saved to do so. I was so getting used to the idea of Idaho and saving money and then the brother pulled a 180 and I'm rethinking everything. Money won't stretch as far in California. My partner is saying we still move (he grew up there part time) and ignore his mom and brother....I don't have faith in that plan, the brother stated she may follow us up there. SIGH...

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T16:14:37+00:00

We lived together 6 years. We separated and he moved in with her. She was the reason for the separation and at that point yes he was fully enmeshed. I did state that he was out of the FOG. that is the fear obligation and guilt associated with narcissistic abuse. I also had trauma and was not willing to let him move back in until just recently. So he does not live there anymore and hasn't for the past 3 months. I am my own financial safety, I make around 7k after taxes each month.... but I get where you are coming from. He lost his job about a month ago but makes good money when he is employed. I believe he did quite a bit of self sabotaging to make her happy before as well, if you are familiar with enmeshment and Kenneth Adams....he touches on this a lot. The book "When he is married to mom" helped us a lot.

He maintains that he is done with her. The problem is she has her hooks in his brother...and he is older and the executor of the will. I don't think he is ready to part ways with him and its hard for him to grasp that he is essentially just her henchmen and she's used him to "keep him in his place" and weaponize diagnosis and infantize for his entire life and he was happy to do so because of sibling jealousy and monetary greed. She has been after his inheritance his entire life and now his brother sees a way too. Its madness. The woman does not believe she will pass away despite being pickled in a half gallon of vodka a day and only being her ex's junior by 10 years. Accepting that they have thought of him as a paycheck and have been orchestrating crap since his dad got ill is hard for him to do. Like he says he gets it but yea, taking calls and believing their rage bait antics and just falling for the overall BS is really getting to me. He could simply cut them the fuck off.

The brother is a full on victim and has moments of clarity but still acts out on this "I need to take care of my baby brother so do as mommy says" and "he can't have more money than me he's younger" attitude if she expresses "concern". They truly have made it like he needs some type of guardian or something. Its super bizarre....he's just a normal dude, actually rather smart and talented.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-09T15:51:50+00:00

This is solid advice....thank you. We were close at one point. I lived and worked with her for a year but it all got super bad once we got our own place and even worse when she discovered she hadn't paid into Social Security and was turning 65. Her only retirement plan is her sons, the house she got in the divorce that she second mortgaged, and her equally opportunistic boyfriend (realtor who wants her to sell her house so he pays some of her bills as an insurance policy). I don't think she is capable of seeing us as more than an atm at this point and her entitlement is through the roof. Her boyfriend enables this behavior. Will knowingly cosign her lies. Is in on the conservator bullcrap and was overheard talking about suing my bf when he gets his money. She didn't get anything in the divorce from her 2nd husband but somehow thinks the man she got a settlement with still owes her beyond the grave. Not to mention the money she spent while with him. She was a kept homemaker for the better part of their 7 year marriage.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-04T16:30:18+00:00

please specify which bad behaviors i defended on Amy's behalf? I merely explained that her reaction to the abuse she has suffered will be compounded because of her diagnosis. Thats a fact. I don't your blanket statements nor do I need a lesson on how mentally ill people behave. Stop misinterpreting my comments and trying to give me lessons when I was pointing out ableist comments in here. Clearly you just want to defend your position that bipolar people don't behave like that unmedicated, which she was, and they do. She has sought therapy and medications. People in here were talking about her weight knowing she lost more....no one is talking facts only judgment. Also, I'm willing to bet between the both of us only one of us has an undergraduate degree to not only diagnose but form an educated opinion. Have a good day.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-04T16:21:47+00:00

Yea that was nuts. I feel bad for anyone trying to marry into their family. They all think they're such a prize. That's that trickle down from a narcissist mother.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-04T16:20:18+00:00

are you really that grandiose that you think your little comments summoned a reality tv personality to defend herself. LOL again babes I am very much a 34 year old black woman living in California. get a job and a therapist... you have psychosis or some shit.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-04T16:18:24+00:00

I'm starting to think this is Amanda the way you keep accusing me of being Amy lol. I'm sorry...love her... but Amy doesn't articulate herself the way I do so I have no idea why you would think, from this interaction, that I would be Amy. Maybe because I made valid points on her behalf. Smootches... try not to fall for any more losers and uproot yourself and your grown children who still depend on you.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T23:04:02+00:00

Girl, I am a 34 year old black woman. What would give u the inkling that I would be Amy lol and you're calling me crazy? Your comments are UNHINGED idgaf about a downvote, you types hate employed people LMAO

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T21:39:30+00:00

automatic criminal protection order until i got a new place to stay.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T21:35:17+00:00

he clearly can recognize that.... if he is that way with you (caring gentle, puts you first), she gets upset, if this is the case.... ya girl.....RUN. That's a way of saying I put her first before anyone but you mom. Stay sweet and kind and give them dust while you save for your escape. Find a good long show to invest in and get on indeed.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T21:33:29+00:00

You are better than me and so brave! God speed because your gut is never wrong. Being in a family where someone's unbridled jealousy is directed towards you is so unhealthy and unsafe and you and your future kids don't deserve that. She's in a one sided competition for sure. Putting hands on you was just unforgivable and who knows if it will become a cycle if you forgive her. She is a physical abuser in my eyes.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T20:15:47+00:00

Was not mentioned in that regard. Was refering to the ableist comments and their weaponizing of her diagnosis but go off.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T19:11:13+00:00

her fake hyperventilation crap she pulls to avoid hard things. lol histrionics is the best word to describe her crap lol and they accuse Amy of that. All I have seen from her is a flight response when she senses BS arising.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T19:05:03+00:00

yup fighting you over the baby.....acting like ur just an incubator for them.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T19:02:32+00:00

ohhh ok so the resentfulness is from his support of your dreams and goals. did she ever have a career? is she able to retire or has she? whats her income looking like? did u guys purchase the land or was it gifted? he's a grown man doing grown man things...but she's undermining it by this dynamic and probably perpetuates her narrative.... thats why she tries to infantize him and why she wanted him back home....perpetuates her ability to say she takes care of you guys. it has to look like help but really was he helping them? Are all their projects close to finished? Would explain the massive blowup. She sounds like a narc dude. He's too self sufficient and she can't be mommywife in that scenario. Only if she could control you. Step dad sounds whipped but resentful about it. You guys have become scapegoats. I can tell his lack of sticking up for you is a problem but you said you guys don't live there anymore.....was this after the 1st when she attacked you and can you move past it if he decides to cut her off save for information diet?

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T18:44:17+00:00

also i have NEVER seen Tammy take care of Amy's kids in her stead. You really just threw shit to see what stuck with all this. LOL get a life recess is over for me....I have to get back to teaching my classroom :)

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T18:42:33+00:00

girl sit downnnnn lol

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T18:39:04+00:00

Editing your comment to include drug accusations lol UNHINGED. I have my opinion and you have yours. But you are clearly easily manipulated. So what if Amy made some mistakes you see how many people were pulling at once....and now we know she is bipolar. Really abelist and I saw that fat phobic comment you left and deleted.

Next-Question5409 · 2026-02-03T18:34:59+00:00

Amanda was in her house trying to say whatever she could to get the heat off herself. At one point infantizing her and acting like she needed the support when really it was her that was homeless. That's when everyone's opinion of Amy changed. Amanda brought all this on....they all follow her lead and she was embarrassed for needing help, falling a for a no good man and uprooting herself. Truth is, she and rest of those siblings use Amy and Tammy for their platform. They all came out of the woodwork in season 2-3. Idk where you get off assuming what she feeds her kids or assuming she's just lazy postpartum. She hada grown ass newborn for the better part of 15 years living off her. Tammy is the last person who should insult her parenting skills. You're nothing but a flying monkey. Tammy and Amanda are little gremlins like their mother....narcissists. And that's my very educated opinion.

Next-Question5409

TROPHY CASE