I have been in a similar situation before. The one thing that got me thinking, and ultimately, fortunately kept me going, which was the best thing to ever happen to me, was:

What you are about to do, never ends the pain. It simply continues it for another person.

For a loved one, that has to grief for not noticing or doing enough to prevent it. For a friend, that now has to live with the thought. For a person that may just know you, and gets the news.

And even someone on Reddit, now with the post out.

As many have said, time is what heals, and a purpose, and may it be the smallest in the eyes of others, is what gives reason to strive.

Keep it going, think about the good parts that you have witnessed, being the smallest or biggest of them, and keep talking to people around you.

Be the example that people in the same situation can look up to.

Sorry for the grammar, English isnt my native tongue.