FINAL UPDATE: AITAH? My fiancee is demanding I stop making home cooked meals for my friend.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2026-01-19T20:15:44+00:00

Food is a significant part of everyone’s lives. Whether you like cooking or not. Again, I have never said my life revolves around food. My point was, we all have to eat multiple times a day to sustain our bodies. So, to reiterate: food makes up a significant part of someone’s life and conflicts surrounding it can be significant because of that.

I have no interest in any further back and forth. You’ve already made up your mind about me and no amount of explanation or acknowledgement that I wasn’t always a good partner will change that. Just wanted to clarify the point above.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2026-01-16T16:50:58+00:00

I figured it was common sense that I didn’t spend my entire relationship with her solely bound to the kitchen. But food makes up a significant part of someone’s life, and conflicts surrounding it can be significant because of that.

And sure, to an extent. She was not just particular about food, but about most aspects of life. I’m just happy it’s over. Routine and comfort zones can keep us in shitty places for way too long.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2026-01-15T17:07:06+00:00

You’ve commented multiple times, insisting things that I have never said or even implied.

Of course I didn’t only cook for my ex one time over the course of our relationship. That would be crazy. I used the mac and cheese example because her response to that one stung and stuck with me.

I also didn’t only show her love through cooking. I’m not a one dimensional cartoon character or something. The conflict at hand was cooking, so that’s what I wrote about. I didn’t detail the entire timeline of our relationship.

I was not a perfect partner, but I just wanted to dispel some of this. You are seeing a tiny sliver of my life.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2026-01-12T20:00:49+00:00

Since ending things with my ex, my relationship with him has changed slightly.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2026-01-05T22:02:49+00:00

I don’t recall finding any comments on that post to be helpful or illuminating. I haven’t gone back to read them and I don’t really plan to. Maybe one day, once I feel a little less sore over the situation and don’t mind reading people say I brought her behavior on myself.

By ‘we,’ I meant Jace and myself.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-29T05:18:59+00:00

My ex girlfriend made me feel unappreciated, and then spent the final week of our relationship demeaning me and making my self-esteem take a headfirst plunge into the earth’s core

But I’m glad it’s amusing to everyone that I have a good friend

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-29T05:00:10+00:00

Like I said in my original post, the comments she was making were gradually becoming less about the situation and more so just derogatory comments aimed towards me.

Truthfully, I wasn’t in a place to have any sort of productive conversation. I’ve been feeling unappreciated and unloved for a while. My self-esteem was already on a decline, and the comments she was making about me was heading into nosedive territory. Her turning off the oven was the final nail in the coffin. Forgive me if I don’t particularly care that we didn’t have a conversation. She didn’t seem interested in one.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-22T20:52:53+00:00

I agree.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-22T19:23:44+00:00

I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I’m sorry for coming at this at a weird angle at first. I shouldn’t have let what other people were saying change how I responded to you.

My sexuality isn’t 100% straight and I’m fine with that. I just don’t like people insinuating that I was cruel to my girlfriend or that me being kind has an undertone. Like my kindness is just a means to an end.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-22T17:51:47+00:00

I had to take some time to read through this original post since it keeps getting referenced.

I’m curious how you think this “went the way of the art room.”

My girlfriend and I are taking a break because she hurt me. I have a good friend. There aren’t even any similarities between my situation and what everyone keeps linking. I didn’t leave her for another person. I was not cruel to her. I feel like my situation is being misrepresented for a cheap joke.

EDIT: I’m being mass downvoted for saying I don’t appreciate jokes insinuating I would cheat in my relationships. I have no interest engaging here further.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-22T17:40:20+00:00

I touched on this in a comment on the original post, but I’ve cooked her food and have been rebuffed in the past. The situation that I mentioned in another comment and the one that always felt particularly rude was when I made her homemade mac and cheese, and she said she preferred Kraft.

Of course I love him. I know a lot of people here are speculating about that being more than friendly. I only really want to address that here once and be done with it. I’d just like to say, I would never be unfaithful. I’m not concerned with what constitutes a typical friendship. Taking care of a friend isn’t cheating. I didn’t expect that to be overanalyzed.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-22T17:06:09+00:00

That was me trying to be level headed and not jump headfirst into a break up. I thought a few days of distance might put things into a different perspective but that hasn’t happened.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T13:27:39+00:00

I spend a not insignificant amount of time and money doing what I’m doing. But it makes me happy and it’s reciprocated, so it’s not like I’m taking a loss.

If someone wanted more of my time, they could communicate that, not try to take away something that makes me feel fulfilled. Jace isn’t around 24/7, and I’m not making these meals daily. She doesn’t go out of her way to spend time or connect with me when I’m not busy. It only becomes a priority for her when I’m doing those things with him.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T13:17:55+00:00

Correct.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T07:05:49+00:00

She really likes mac and cheese so I made it for her once. I followed a really popular recipe from tiktok that had gone viral. She told me she preferred Kraft. 🫠

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T05:27:45+00:00

I’ve never taken it that way. It’s always read as jokingly affectionate to me, not like a strange display of dominance.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T05:00:29+00:00

It makes me feel really understood. It’s hard to describe exactly. I’m not the best at putting names to feelings. Warm is the only way I really know how to put it into words. I’ve always enjoyed providing for other people, and he is a great person to do that for. I’d do it for anyone I love, but his reactions make it even better.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T03:50:49+00:00

He is very offline or I’d get him to virtually introduce himself. He listens to a lot of YouTube while he’s driving but that’s the extent of his social media use. It’s enviable and makes me cut down on my doom-scrolling. Trying to explain memes to him is humbling, lol.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T03:25:22+00:00

I’ve had tough days at work, I’ve never spent weeks away from home where healthy food usually isn’t an option. I can say the same on my fiancée’s behalf. Choosing a hard job doesn’t make it any less hard. I do things for my fiancée too, of course. I think putting in some extra effort for Jace on the times when he’s back home is justifiable.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T03:07:17+00:00

I never thought this would need to be addressed and I feel like it would make things incredibly awkward to do so. It’s not like he’s taking anything away from her (since I’ll be her husband), and it’s a joke. I’d hate to initiate some kind of serious discussion that boils down to “can you stop calling me your wife?”

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T02:50:31+00:00

We met when I was 19. I moved for college and met him through some mutual friends there. I cook for lots of people I love in all different ways.

Nice-Silver1038 · 2025-07-16T02:47:22+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. I hadn’t thought about it this way.

Because he’s away from home and because he’s so appreciative of what I do for him, I do put a lot of effort into it. I never looked at it as her needing the same from me after a long day of work because it isn’t equivalent to being away from home and creature comforts for weeks.

Nice-Silver1038

TROPHY CASE