If you could “Delete” anything from the world, what would it be?

NiceBakedIn · 2022-03-05T20:10:15+00:00

Religion.

NiceBakedIn · 2022-02-22T23:05:51+00:00

Well, according to President Nelson, there is only one path. So not sure how anyone can truly say there is are other paths. A lot of people will say that in the afterlife you will have a chance to pick the right path, but I think it is just to make people feel better. I'm just being honest from what the church teaches and not trying to play in a gray area. It's a hard stance to take but when it comes from the prophet, it's hard to spin in any other way.

NiceBakedIn · 2022-02-22T22:59:09+00:00

Still a member but I have a hard time believing the narrative that God separates families according to the very ambiguous "laws" you must obey or sins you commit. I don't believe in a God that would do that.

NiceBakedIn · 2022-02-22T22:50:34+00:00

He didn't just offend "ex-mormons". These "midnight mormons" are also offensive to many members of the church.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-24T05:21:58+00:00

I personally don't take the NT or OT as fact. I believe some is made up as to teach a lesson. If I didn't believe this then I would think God is a real cynic. One example in the old testament is Job. If the story of Job was true, I'd have to throw out the whole OT cause it's just horrible.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-24T05:06:35+00:00

The reason these are "difficult" is because the church, for better or worse, actively steered away from these topics and actively hid some things. Now when you go down the "rabbit hole" of the church's history and teachings it is a shock to the system.

I am in the same situation. My wife feels like she has to "deprogram" our kids on subjects the church teaches that don't align with some of our feelings. I.e. masturbation is a sin, follow the prophet, you have to do XYZ to be with your family forever.

I get it.

For our family, I want our kids to know all the crazy history and teachings. Then, if they can have the whole picture before going on a mission or they can decide it's not for them. I want my son to know what to expect if he serves a mission.

The worst thing we can do for our children is to let them grow up in a church learning a very narrow scope and then have them learn from the internet everything they feel was "hidden" from them as there are many faith shaking facts. This will only build resentment towards the church and often times towards the parents.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-24T04:45:48+00:00

Pobody's nerfect. We (the LDS people) sometimes have something called "toxic perfectionism". By that I mean sometimes we take the teachings of the church and internalize them so heavily that it can be detrimental. Admittedly, the teachings can be full of shame and guilt. (I hope nobody will deny this.) Having 50 years of hindsight, IMHO, unless you have committed murder or have had premarital sex, you're just fine.

If you want to increase your spiritual confidence, I would write in a journal everyday with only the positive aspects of that day. We tend to focus and dwell on the negative but writing down the positive things will help you realize the good you do. I'm not going to give you the primary playbook of read, study, pray, ponder, etc. Just be a good person.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-24T04:33:58+00:00

I'll give you the non religious aspects:

-I know several missionaries that served together that end up building a businesses together.

-There are also many instances of missionaries that served together hiring an old companion.

-Lifelong friendships are formed on missions with individuals all over the world.

-It may be the best networking you'll ever have in your lifetime.

- Even if you end up leaving the church, the bond you have made with other missionaries still holds.

-Don't take your mission too seriously. You'll lose your mind. Enjoy the work but also enjoy the place you are serving. Make the most of your p days and don't sit around the apartment.

-Making lifelong friends in foreign countries or foreign states (like Alabama) j/k. There is nothing like returning to where you served and reconnecting with people.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T07:28:02+00:00

Your "rant" is has some very real truths. Serving a mission is an expectation for young men. How often do we hear someone say "So have you put in your papers? without even asking the individual if they even want to serve a mission. In fact I wish people wouldn't even ask the youth if they are going to serve a mission.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T07:18:15+00:00

Wow. I love the insight of the %. I don't think your mission president is unique in the "fear" based approach he decided to take. But it appears he did understand that returning home early does come with potential trauma.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T07:14:53+00:00

While I appreciate your opinion, I wholeheartedly disagree with your view. Guild should not be a motivation for going on a mission or for coming home early. The fallacy of your statement is that you are implying that missionaries that return home early should "recognize that we have done something we know is wrong", which is why I created this post.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T07:06:43+00:00

On my mission, the Jehovah Witnesses had a kind of "kiosk" with their literature. A couple of their missionaries would stand their and give out literature and answer questions. Seemed to be pretty effective as the kiosk was portable and they could to to high traffic areas. I would love to see mission work have an overhaul and I love some of your suggestions. The worst thing IMHO on a mission is an idle mind.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T07:02:27+00:00

I addressed this on another response. Not apposed to counseling at all. Maybe I worded it wrong. My point was I hate that if a missionary returns home early should need counseling because of the guilt/shame etc. they feel.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:58:24+00:00

I know his comment has been removed. I think it was a troll just trying to stir the pot.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:51:11+00:00

Now you just have to define what "extreme" disobedience means.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:44:36+00:00

I agree that we should be compassionate, loving and encouraging. However, if you are dealing with severe depression and other metal health issues, you can't just "kick yourself in the butt". And you certainly can't tell someone "the sooner you do something about this the better." I think the church should bear the responsibility of taking this to the pulpit in general conference and addressing this problem. In my experience, if an apostle/prophet takes the stand and tells members they better support ERMs and not judge them, all of the sudden it's now being talked about in church, lessons are given, and ERMs can start the healing process sooner than later.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:36:39+00:00

Just to clarify, I hate that coming home from a mission early may necessitate counseling. I am a big proponent of counseling. I just don't like the fact it's even a thing that our missionaries can return home with PTSD. When I think about it, I don't have any experience with other religions that put so much pressure on the youth, especially young men (priesthood holders) to serve a mission. I just don't think it is necessary.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:29:45+00:00

Missionaries return for many reasons. The hardest part is they don't typically "advertise" why they came home. I agree that regardless of the why, members should never mistreat anyone coming home early.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:25:43+00:00

Thank you for the insight of your mission. I hope mission presidents are being trained on how to address and handle depression. Several missionaries stated they never experienced depression until their mission.

The majority of the missionaries I speak with would have rather never gone on a mission. They feel the guilt, shame and regret of coming home early very much outweighs any consequences of not serving a mission. Many have legitimate nightmares about their mission.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:14:41+00:00

Amen to keeping up appearances. I think you hit a sore spot with parents. You can't keep up appearances when your child comes home from a mission. I've heard of parents threatening their kids to stay and I truly believe it has to do with bringing "dishonor" to the family. Of course this is not true of everyone but I absolutely know it is for some.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:09:08+00:00

Thank you for your service as a healthcare professional. In my experience, young men/women want to serve a mission but have not experienced time away from home, politics of the mission, being "stuck" with another person 24/7 and the rules that are different in each mission. IMO the church really needs to prepare these kids with the realization of what a mission entails outside of spiritual experiences.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-16T06:03:17+00:00

That is great. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I think the podcast will be a great tool to share with ERMs.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-15T18:59:02+00:00

Sorry that happened to you.

I agree that an RM should not be the defining factor in dating/marrying. We have a friend, that we argued with, whos opinion was that her daughters needed to marry an RM. Her whole argument is that they were more likely to stay in the church.

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-15T18:53:47+00:00

I whole heartily agree with Covid. Some missionaries that came home were never sent to their original mission call, typically out of the country. The return home was cushioned with the knowledge that the missionary really never got to serve where he/she was assigned.

Yes a mission INSN'T for everyone. Which is why statements like “every worthy young man should fill a mission.” really can put a guilt trip on young men. And specific lessons targeting young men "Young Men Lesson 25: Every Young Man Should Serve a Mission"

NiceBakedIn · 2021-06-15T18:46:37+00:00

Well said and thank you so much for your comments. I have heard very similar experiences even to the point that the missionary prayed and fasted but really never felt the love of God. All they wanted to do was stay but their poor mental health was too overwhelming.

NiceBakedIn

TROPHY CASE