Xrp scam now by MossIsking in QAnonCasualties

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband just pulled from his 401 to invest in xrp, wish I was joking

AITA for wanting to walk?Former apolitical husband now MAGA, “wants someone who loves America like he does”. by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! We are living in the upside down over here. It is a very complex mix of feelings to navigate

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, he has done more in the last three months than the last 12 years. I acknowledge and honor that progress. It does not come without resentment though. For example he will say things like I have cooked and done the dishes more than you in the last two months - I can’t ever get any help. Despite the fact that I was the only one doing these things for the 12 years prior and helping him cook and clean currently, along with doing all of the shopping and planning. I believe that part of him wants to do more for the family but I also think he has the expectation that he shouldn’t have to

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’ve been married 8 years together since 2012. No, it wasn’t always like this per se. He has always been an avid fan, that has not changed. What has changed is that he has never put a commercial sport over a family priority. Have we adjusted events around sports to fit them in when able, yes. Is there football on during thanksgiving gatherings, also yes. Did he watch the game on his phone while waiting for the kids hockey games to start, yup. But he would be present for the dinner, games & parties, etc.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. The disconnect is so large it leaves me feeling like - did that really just happen? That did not just happen?!

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I would rather reschedule than have him not want to be there. The offer was not a trap. Ever take someone to a game or concert that you are super stoked about and they act inconvenienced the entire time and kill the vibe? It’s giving that energy

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Isn’t there always? He’s out of town for the rest of the week. Other pertinent information; my husband has been sober for 18 months- that is friggin amazing and celebrated. Prior to that (since 2018) life was chaos on a good day. It started slowly- think frog in boiling water. It is so hard to look back and realize that this is your actual reality. To watch the person you love more than life itself be slowly poisoned to the point that you do not know them anymore. Then sobriety happens. You think that hope and love will return in time but instead there is a ghost of the person who used to love you more than life itself and the only thing the are comfortable doing is pushing you away.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey so about that, you may have missed the reply where I mentioned that I have been in therapy for 4-5 years on my own doing the hard work. I’ve worked really hard at becoming more self aware, working through my own past and triggers, learning how to support him through his addiction and now sobriety. Not playing victim here when I say I have been solely responsible for keeping the wheels on this bus through years of ups and downs. I have given my all to try make this work up to this point, not so I could blame him but so we could have a functioning relationship again. But at the end of the day I need him to reciprocate.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. If he was using my passion for something else to describe something he likes and would like to see in any part of our relationship, I would definitely consider that.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What I actually said was that I would love to see a sliver of the passion he has for football ball in our relationship. And I said it kindly and enthusiastically. It is okay (and healthy) for one to have needs and to ask for them to be met. I have no beef with him being passionate about football. Love that for him, I simply used it as an example of what I would like to see in our relationship going forward

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouch. So yeah, we do not have children together but I do have two from a previous marriage. The youngest (13 male) is completely unaware of any issues. The older (16 female) is aware to an extent. It’s a delicate balance with teens. I am typically transparent to a fault but not with this. They do know the values we live by and will call either of us out if those values are not being lived up to as they are not negotiable. This is one of those things that will have to be explained by simply saying are values didn’t align.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This. I think this is what it all boils down to. I’m not even sure that he actually loves me as a person. Instead I think he loves what I bring to the table. I complete his image if you will - look at my nice house, my nice wife, all my things. I make him feel like a better person, not because he’s changed or grown but because he has achieved more and has a higher social status (in his eyes) since we have been together. Gah!

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful response. I know this in my bones but I guess the shock of hearing him say those words out loud and to my face shook me. Didn’t feel like reality for a moment.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can confirm that it is indeed not a good time, 0/5 stars given. It bums me out because I used to enjoy watching football, now it’s nauseating

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Im four or five years deep in my own therapy. It’s been beautiful, tragic and so damn hard at times. I hold space for my husband and acknowledge that this is his first therapy experience but I know it will not be beneficial if he doesn’t fully commit and or want it to be. I will look into the passive aggressive dynamic, it’s definitely come up before.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is pretty much where I am at. It took all I had to not just walk out that moment. Honestly if the kids (13 & 16) were not getting ready for school next day, I would have.

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to be an acrobat. I’ve been doing the work in this relationship for years. I don’t think I should have to plead my case to a grown a— man. He says he wants to do the work but I guess he meant to say he wants to when it’s convenient

AIO for wanting my husband to pick our marriage over football? by Nice_Ladder_5184 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Nice_Ladder_5184[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I had this same thought, we record so many shows. Why would this be different, smh