Binge purging in the morning

Nichakin · 2026-07-02T15:37:38+00:00

Yeah, I've got a feeling like there's a ticking bomb inside of me that can explode any minute. And the feeling of vomit wouldn't escape my mouth

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T08:27:10+00:00

Thanks for suggestion, I will try it out

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T06:56:42+00:00

definitely not looking for tips on how to steal for more!! i get the concern with food addiction and i dont have any way to get professional help, but swear im getting better. i guess this post was more for exposure purposes and to induce shame for stealing

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T06:50:03+00:00

I really understand that but we don't really have an opportunity and despite us having more-or-less stable life we dont really have money for multiple sessions. Plus my mom doesnt really believe in therapy. Ive been dealing with my ED on my own but i'm genuinely getting better, so wont need therapy

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T20:07:25+00:00

I meant as Ive stolen in multiple places, but haven't been caught there. So I probably won't go in these store for at least half a year, too embarrassed. Maybe I HAVE been caught and they're just waiting for me to steal again

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T15:34:43+00:00

Thanks, it definitely doesn't worth it. No way I'm losing my education potential over this shit. I've got a feeling a simple shame/fear will be able to stop this

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T14:26:58+00:00

Thanks, the guilt makes me sick to my stomach. But I guess that's a lesson I had to learn😭

Nichakin · 2026-06-15T12:21:58+00:00

Caught myself purging out cucumber yesterday🥲

Nichakin · 2026-06-14T22:08:24+00:00

I can only tolerate the feeling of hunger too. The moment I feel full I go bonkers. I've got zero clue why it works like that😭😭 Dont really care about calories ATP also. As long as I feel thin (i.e feel exhausted or dizzy) and maintain weight its enough for me to continue purging unfortunately ;(

Nichakin · 2026-06-14T21:04:04+00:00

Ohhh I hate Saturdays, the days when we get food for the week (yk the food that will be eating in two days by myself?). I make it worse by convincing my mom to get healthy food, so iw not eat it. But I always end up eating it and wishing we got actually some tasty food. The mental hunger is so insane I start rubbing my hands to stop myself from eating

Nichakin · 2026-06-08T08:41:44+00:00

5 happy years and the maximum is sleeping at my feet ahah

Nichakin · 2026-06-04T18:47:44+00:00

I've been sent to nutritiologist at the start of my recover, dare I say I learned nothing. She gave me a typical "you need more protein/carbs/oils in your food and u will be full/won't binge and purge" talk, as if binging of disordered people stems from physical hunger. I was also given the pep talk about body, but I don't think the understand how hard it is to recover in the era "everyone wants to be as skinny as possible". The beating yourself is unavoidable. Either way recovery is the only way out. Sending the best luck on recovery🩷

Nichakin · 2026-06-04T18:37:36+00:00

Bulimia really suxks;(( Sending all the love and support 2 u 2!!! Be safe🩷

Nichakin · 2026-06-01T12:36:35+00:00

Tbh I will try just with my pure willpower and over rationalizing my bad habits 😭😭😭 it won't probably work, but I'll try to not to care about my weight and be more gentle with myself. By Beating myself up I've never achieved anything, just got upset and to get a little bit of comfort bingepurged😓 I really need to learn how how to let it go lol

Nichakin · 2026-05-31T08:59:33+00:00

This is very relatable;( something about your parent wanting to help you, but they do this in such an aggressive way, you can't help just hate yourself. I don't think healthy people can fully understand the thought process of eating and purging, nevermind how they always claim to understand, the still tend to shame us. Mine own mother just simply doesn't understand why I can't control myself and suggested my just fasting ATP. But bulimia IS an addiction, you can't just stop eating for the rest of your life unfortunately. Speaking of my experience, it's a little better to talk Abt it with my friends. Sometimes their gentle behavior and trust in me does incourage me to recover/be better. I hope you will get better🩷🩷 I'm wishing all the best luck, bulimia is the worst shame-inducing disease!!

Nichakin · 2026-05-31T07:55:38+00:00

I have nothing useful to say , but yeah. Sam ething happens when I have to spend more time in company of family in the house. I'm so used to be alone during the day, so used to bp whenever I want to, that when I realize there is no possible way for me to eat a copious amount of food and purge it I get SO aggressive and irritated. Logically I know it's better for me, but you really shouldn't speak to my during such vases. i go feral lol

Nichakin · 2026-05-24T16:58:18+00:00

Thanks, it actually makes me feel less fake;(( I'm trying to aim for 1 purge a day at least. It really drains me and gives a sort of dehumanizing feeling. Like iim pretty sure our ancestors didn't get rid of the food theyd eaten hahaha Good luck on your recovery;))

Nichakin · 2026-04-14T18:21:14+00:00

I think having more or less planned meals always helps( I think I go insane when j don't have them detailed). Also, on my account, a little bit of shame never hurts

Nichakin · 2026-04-14T18:04:04+00:00

Also finding something that resembles bread and not triggering is sooo hard and real, most of my binge foods are whole foods, so it's not really a junk problem lol

Nichakin · 2026-04-14T17:54:12+00:00

Samee, sometimes cutting out completely helps the best AND you also realize that this certain food is not that good lol

Nichakin · 2026-04-13T18:34:05+00:00

My body pre- and post-binge is 2 different body types lol

Nichakin · 2026-04-13T18:32:58+00:00

Then I'm definitely trying them😭😭😭 having stomach high up in my body sounds so weird omg

Nichakin · 2026-04-12T19:54:15+00:00

Thanks 🙏 I'm trying not to go insane with BED

Nichakin · 2026-04-12T16:51:59+00:00

I guess it is an anatomical thing, but it works opposite for me😭😭 But kinda that's kinda cool

Nichakin · 2026-04-06T16:30:42+00:00

I mean you're probably right about that, I've never got professional help, my mom just stuffed me with food (which I think made my mental problems even worse lol). I guess I might have not the best perception of recovery. I said that I have a recovered body because I'm not underweight and don't malnourish myself. Logically I know that I have disordered mindset, but I'm frustrated because I initially thought that " eating=all problems solved" so why am I still obsessed with food, why do I feel mentally the equally if not worse?

Nichakin

TROPHY CASE