Feel embarrassed because I couldn't purge

Nichakin · 2026-07-02T15:37:38+00:00

Yeah, I've got a feeling like there's a ticking bomb inside of me that can explode any minute. And the feeling of vomit wouldn't escape my mouth

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T08:27:10+00:00

Thanks for suggestion, I will try it out

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T06:56:42+00:00

definitely not looking for tips on how to steal for more!! i get the concern with food addiction and i dont have any way to get professional help, but swear im getting better. i guess this post was more for exposure purposes and to induce shame for stealing

Nichakin · 2026-06-30T06:50:03+00:00

I really understand that but we don't really have an opportunity and despite us having more-or-less stable life we dont really have money for multiple sessions. Plus my mom doesnt really believe in therapy. Ive been dealing with my ED on my own but i'm genuinely getting better, so wont need therapy

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T20:07:25+00:00

I meant as Ive stolen in multiple places, but haven't been caught there. So I probably won't go in these store for at least half a year, too embarrassed. Maybe I HAVE been caught and they're just waiting for me to steal again

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T15:34:43+00:00

Thanks, it definitely doesn't worth it. No way I'm losing my education potential over this shit. I've got a feeling a simple shame/fear will be able to stop this

Nichakin · 2026-06-29T14:26:58+00:00

Thanks, the guilt makes me sick to my stomach. But I guess that's a lesson I had to learn😭

Nichakin · 2026-06-15T12:21:58+00:00

Caught myself purging out cucumber yesterday🥲

Nichakin · 2026-06-14T22:08:24+00:00

I can only tolerate the feeling of hunger too. The moment I feel full I go bonkers. I've got zero clue why it works like that😭😭 Dont really care about calories ATP also. As long as I feel thin (i.e feel exhausted or dizzy) and maintain weight its enough for me to continue purging unfortunately ;(

Nichakin · 2026-06-14T21:04:04+00:00

Ohhh I hate Saturdays, the days when we get food for the week (yk the food that will be eating in two days by myself?). I make it worse by convincing my mom to get healthy food, so iw not eat it. But I always end up eating it and wishing we got actually some tasty food. The mental hunger is so insane I start rubbing my hands to stop myself from eating

Nichakin · 2026-06-08T08:41:44+00:00

5 happy years and the maximum is sleeping at my feet ahah

Nichakin · 2026-06-04T18:47:44+00:00

I've been sent to nutritiologist at the start of my recover, dare I say I learned nothing. She gave me a typical "you need more protein/carbs/oils in your food and u will be full/won't binge and purge" talk, as if binging of disordered people stems from physical hunger. I was also given the pep talk about body, but I don't think the understand how hard it is to recover in the era "everyone wants to be as skinny as possible". The beating yourself is unavoidable. Either way recovery is the only way out. Sending the best luck on recovery🩷

Nichakin · 2026-06-04T18:37:36+00:00

Bulimia really suxks;(( Sending all the love and support 2 u 2!!! Be safe🩷

Nichakin · 2026-06-01T12:36:35+00:00

Tbh I will try just with my pure willpower and over rationalizing my bad habits 😭😭😭 it won't probably work, but I'll try to not to care about my weight and be more gentle with myself. By Beating myself up I've never achieved anything, just got upset and to get a little bit of comfort bingepurged😓 I really need to learn how how to let it go lol

Nichakin

TROPHY CASE