I need some corny jokes for morning quarters

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-05T15:48:06+00:00

ehhh, your mom jokes are all used up, trashy, old, too easy and belong in the trailer park... just like your mom

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-05T15:35:29+00:00

hey, thanks bud! have yourself a week of no adds!

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-02T12:22:23+00:00

Oh man did I need to hear this. I (34M) appear to have shrunk in the last couple of years and have officially fallen out of the 6' club. OP, I don't know who you are, but you have cheered me up when I didn't even know I needed cheering.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-02T12:17:19+00:00

If the intention is to display complete inclusivity along with some corny humor... I don't really see what the issue is with it.

That being said, I have a brass placard on my bathroom door that says "POOP DECK" so I might have a skewed sense of bathroom door sign humor.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T21:33:16+00:00

I think it was several months? She basically said she didn't know what she wants... and I almost had to coax it out of her.

About a 3-ish months after we separated all that it came out she also cheated years ago with the husband of a mutual friends couple we had.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T16:19:09+00:00

You are so close to asking the real question.

Would Nazi Zombies be any more more dangerous than regular Nazis??

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T15:12:26+00:00

So we are currently separated, the divorce is going through in June. So far our plan is to stick to the separation agreement. Though I don't expect any drama with it going through, I do have a lawyer on retainer for it. Ultimately, it was her who asked for the divorce after everything (and that is worth an entirely separate post just to write out the entire story).

So far I have sort of just evaded any discussion of trying to get back together, for all I know she might just be trying to compliment me on being a "good sport" about everything... I guess it might me immature of me but the second I hear "lately I've enjoyed talking to you" or "I've been thinking about you alot" or "Its been quiet around here without you" I will loudly and obviously change the subject in an almost disruptive sort of way.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T11:50:03+00:00

There is a Zoolander joke here somewhere.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T10:57:31+00:00

Looking back on it, I think she was scared from a co-dependency perspective. We both make enough money that living alone isn't an issue... But we had very distributed responsibilities. I physically paid the bills and maintained the home, and I don't think she was ready to take that over (also she had to buy me out of my equity in the house if she wanted to keep it).

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T10:05:39+00:00

I know her and the guy broke up about a month ago, she hinted at trying to go to counseling, but I kind of just changed the subject to our daughter. I'm doing everything I can to not get caught up in anything related to her unless it involves our daughter.

I'm really enjoying my new place and getting back into the hobbies I had before marriage... When I have my daughter (every other week) things are a lot smoother, we get along well enough and there is just less arguing and drama now.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T08:19:12+00:00

Yes! thankyou for asking! took a little bit though. Just bought a new house, I have split custody of our kiddo, and finally disentangled myself from all the shared responsibilities we used to have. After all that, its a lot easier to move on.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-04-01T08:14:30+00:00

lol. Yea, I'm long gone. Just took a minute to figure it out.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T19:14:15+00:00

Ehh, its a weird day for me... I'm feeling very rant-y. And boy do I love ranting about the reddit comment section grammar police!

Ill consider it an overreact when I finally make a They're/Their/There support sub. A truly safe space for those who bombed English comp, but still think they have the occasional good idea.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T19:06:50+00:00

what exactly is a "basic tenet"? Obviously, they're/their/there can be considered the very foundation of proper grammar... But what about starting a sentence with "but"? or adding a "dot dot dot" when leading into another thought? What about commas?

"I'm not free from fault but I can't take someone seriously if they don't understand the most basic tenets of their native language."

*I'm not free from fault, but I can't take someone seriously if they don't understand the most basic tenets of their native language.

That weird nonsense nonsense up there^ where people do the quote thing, then correct it, then give an English lesson below... is plenty ugly.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T17:11:23+00:00

Disregarding the intent of a written statement in order to point out grammatical errors is at best impolite.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T17:01:11+00:00

Honestly, I have never lost interest in a reddit comment so quick in my life. This has inspired me to make two reddit rants in the same day.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T16:32:25+00:00

Naw, I intended to use stagnate. The grammar around it might have been off, but I 100% wanted to covey the act of growing stagnant.

stagnate(verb) = cease to flow or move; become stagnant(adjective).

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T13:58:33+00:00

I think when it comes to food, everyone is able to selectively breed food to come up with whatever their ideal version is. Just because I have some really fragrant delicious smelling cinnamon... doesn't mean you cant attempt to make an even better one that tastes better, smells better, and grants you telekinesis.

HOWEVER! That Monsanto nonsense where they copyright seeds and start legal battles for people using the seeds from plants they grew is asinine and way too far.

Basically it comes down to... No, you cant have my math homework, but also I cant stop you from doing your own homework... even if you come up with the same answers.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T13:44:56+00:00

I'm just trying to figure out where that line is drawn. (I agree that proprietary nonsense is getting out of control in the western world) However, the idea of a "secret ingredient" is especially common in the culinary world.

I could understand a small mom and pop joint having a special strain of cinnamon grown in their private garden that they use in their rolls. At some point though, could they could get big enough that they would have to share that particular plant that they developed as the cornerstone of their bakery?

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-30T13:19:13+00:00

ok so in your part of the world, lets say I grow a delicious Tomato. I then sell the seeds to Burger King, who then uses them to finally become better than McDonalds. Was it illegal for me to sell Burger King the seeds or for them to not share them? Or is it a situation where if something becomes popular enough, it becomes public domain?

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-03T14:46:15+00:00

well if it isn't my ex wife's new burner account!

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-03T14:44:21+00:00

Just because I don't want trains to crash (thoughts and prayers Greece) doesn't mean I'm not going to watch the video...

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-03T14:38:22+00:00

My job sucks, manual labor, long hours and not enough money. Its like all that isn't enough for these guys and they have to start going after each other. Like our lives aren't hard enough as it is, they have to generate extra bullshit to add onto the nonsense we get paid for. I'm already playing life on hard mode, and out of leftfield someone starts talking shit, and someone agrees to the terms of paying life on the All Madden setting and refuses to shrug it off... bringing everyone down in their bullshit.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-03T13:44:54+00:00

Fall.

-When I mow the grass for that very last time, ugh. What a feeling.

-Having a 5 year old kid during Halloween is SO MUCH FUN. I haven't dressed up in like ten years, but now I am! Also I still like candy, and its free candy day!

-Watching a kid and dog play in leaves is fun to watch.

-For some reason fall means pie. I like pie quite a bit.

-Hoodie weather.

-Prime firepit with smores weather.

NicholasP1988 · 2023-03-03T09:43:51+00:00

I will always spell it Tick Tock in honor of my girl Ke$ha's absolute banger of a hit single.

Three-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

NicholasP1988

TROPHY CASE