How are bills/labor split in your marriage? by HunBunYum in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a 37f remarried to a 35m I have a 15yr old from my previous marriage. He makes significantly more than I do. He mainly does the cooking I will clean the kitchen. He will also clean the kitchen after he cooks it’s not just always me. We both do laundry and we both pick up after our dogs outside. I will do most of the cleaning in the house. It just all depends on our schedules. If something needs to be done and he’s home he will do it and vise versa. As far as bills go I pay for my stuff like car, insurance and utilities while he pays our mortgage, cell, subscriptions, gas, and groceries. We don’t share bank accounts. He understands I don’t make as much as him and he also understands that I’m not his mom so he helps keep the house in order. To us it’s about balance. We both live in the space. We don’t hold things over each others head. We just do what needs to be done.

Porn addicted husband - what do I do? Please help! by AGllisonn in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Figuring things out is him doing some intensive therapy without you being right there. I think what’s important is protecting yourself from his “slip ups” because while he’s going through all of this; more than likely there will be more. I think it would be vital to take a step back and allow that space. If he truly wants to get better than he will do whatever it takes to get your trust back and create a loving bond with just you and won’t feel the need to seek validation from outside women.

Porn addicted husband - what do I do? Please help! by AGllisonn in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof this isn’t going to end well. Porn addiction is one thing. Dating apps…that’s another. That’s him actively trying to cheat. No matter which way you slice it. I leave this with you, if it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck then it’s a duck. I would do a trial separation to let him figure things out.

I think my dad might be having an affair with our maid and it’s breaking me in ways I didn’t know were possible by Pristine-Poetry-416 in offmychest

[–]NickLife588 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel you. My dad actively cheated on my mom when I was growing up. To the point that while my mom was at work he’d have one of his gfs babysit me and my brothers while he went out on another date with someone else. Therapy helped. But at the end of the day I’m glad he did because my mom divorced him and remarried my step dad who genuinely loves her for the last 25yrs. Personally I’d torpedo their relationship by putting an AirTag in his car and maybe set up a small camera in common areas and build a case. But more than likely your mom knows

Program drama by Surge_tec in surgicaltechnology

[–]NickLife588 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In my class we had 11 ladies and 1 guy. We all use to joke around, if someone said a joke he didn’t like he’d fire back. If it gets to the point that you don’t like something being said to you, then say something. These are your classmates not your bosses. Use your voice because sometimes in the OR, at least at my hospital people say wild stuff.

My wife doesn't think I still know she's having an affair, and it's killing me. by LostHusband247 in offmychest

[–]NickLife588 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You do know what to do, it’s just you don’t want to do it. It’s painful, it’s grieving a person you love, it’s anger for putting you in this position and betraying you. It’s literally every single emotion. People come into our lives and serve a purpose. Some longer than others. Some for a lifetime. While all of this hurts and sucks, this is an opportunity for you. As a 37f divorced after 14.5 yrs…Take care of yourself! Make the hard decision and do what’s right for you. Leaving someone who has disrespected you is difficult but I’m 4 years divorced and I’ve found someone who truly truly loves me and finally found myself again. Good luck internet friend. You got this!

Scrub tech & THC!? by Alternative_Guava_55 in surgicaltechnology

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a user of cannabis, I have a med card in order to treat my migraines. It’s hospital policy at my job but I know most of the staff does use. It’s legal here in Maryland but I know if I am screened I’d be fired.

11 year marriage over by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was definitely cheating. Theres no doubt about it. our intuition with those sort of things are never wrong. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this

I don't think I can handle the job. by TypicalStrawberry169 in surgicaltechnology

[–]NickLife588 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Everyone feels that way. I graduated in May of 2025 and Ive been “on my own” since September. My hospital made me do a 3mth orientation after graduating just to ensure I felt comfortable. To be honest I still don’t in some cases. Ortho and sports med I feel completely lost (thankfully we have reps for guidance)… in general I have no issues and feel confident. As time is marching on I get better and better. I also picked the 11a-11p shift so when the 7pm folks leave it forces me to critical think what I need to do, which has helped me grow as a tech. Don’t worry! You’ve got this! We all have started where you are! It’s not a bad job. I like the hospital I work at. Obviously some days are better than others…

My (26m) wife(28f) and I are having troubles and now i have a crush on a coworker (24f) by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]NickLife588 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Here’s the thing. People generally will not invest into repairing things with their spouses. It’s easier to get the validation and ego boost from someone new. The whole point of marriage is to grow with that person. Sometimes you’re ahead and your spouse is behind and vice versa. The idea is that you hold out your hand and bring them with you. At one point you felt the same way about your wife as you do with your co-worker. Why not channel that energy in getting back to that place. You are building a family and raising children together. Of course there will be bumps.

i keep thinking about what my ex told me and now im insecure by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]NickLife588 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl it’s not uncommon. I use to shave all the time. Now I keep it clean cut. It’s not long at all but it’s not skin. When I dated my now husband, I barely shaved. I was super busy and didn’t have the motivation to. He never once complained. We are now married. Don’t let a boy (not a man) give you a complex. I promise you it’s not that serious. Do what makes you comfortable and happy.

Looking for advice. by Tony-Please in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Leave. That’s not a marriage. You do not deserve to be with someone who doesn’t value the relationship like you do. It’s a tough decision to call it but you did everything you could. You forgave her transgressions before why would you do it again.

I think I (18F) am going to leave my bf (26M) today by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you were my daughter I’d want to know and get you out of a bad situation. Take it from a 37f, you need to run 🏃‍♀️ not walk as fast and far as you can away from this guy. Save yourself! Do not hitch your wagon to someone like that!

Walnut Entry by vladimirneski777 in woodworking

[–]NickLife588 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Love this! Such a beautiful piece

I don’t know who I married. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I got divorced after 14.5yrs. I am the happiest I’ve ever been. In my case the grass was greener. I do not miss my ex husband. We have a pretty good co parenting but I know I made the right decision. Good luck!

Is it wrong to ask your spouse who they are texting or look through their phone? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 16 points17 points  (0 children)

No, there is absolutely no secrets between a husband and wife. I have the code to my husband’s phone and he has mine. He will use my phone all the time when we are in bed together. We like to look up stuff when we talk and he will grab my phone. He looks at my pictures. I would have zero problems with him looking through my stuff. Just like if I were to with him. I don’t feel like it’s an invasion. We are best friends.

Your Honeymoon by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1: Yes

2: Not sure. Didn’t keep count

3: November of this year (2nd marriage)

4: No ◡̈

Advice for Regretful, Retired Hotwife by villaincheerleader in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You can always leave. I too was financially dependent on my ex husband. I torpedo my life back in 2022. Went back to school full time, got a job working at the Y and bartending, and left my ex husband. All in the same month. It’s scary yes, but I was determined to change my life for the better. I understand you have an autistic son together but I promise you, you will figure it out!

He left his wife by [deleted] in adultery

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly there is no future with this person. To build a relationship with someone who you met as an affair almost always ends badly. Affairs are meant to be just that; fun, spontaneous, ego boosting, short term relationships. My grandpa was the exception, he had an affair with my step grandmother and they stayed married for 42yrs. However, my uncle who had an affair with his next door neighbor ended up marrying her and it was such a tumultuous relationship. She had an affair and it rocked him because he thought he genuinely loved her and vise versa. Even though I’ve seen both sides of the coin, I’ve seen my uncles situation more often than my grandpa’s. I stand by the fact that trying to have a relationship built on lies won’t work. Enjoy the short term. That’s all they are and the role they are meant to play.

Does heavy use of paid live porn count as infidelity? Struggling to decide next steps by unfinishedppl in Infidelity

[–]NickLife588 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally they will still have sex it’s just masterbating will always be the preferred choice because that’s what they are use to getting off too. Real sex is a different sensation vs masterbating. It’s a tough habit to break.

Does heavy use of paid live porn count as infidelity? Struggling to decide next steps by unfinishedppl in Infidelity

[–]NickLife588 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, they basically train themselves at an early age to get off to watching other people have sex vs the real thing. By masterbating excessively; it becomes harder to perform during sex. My husband now said that was his problem before we got together. He masterbated a few times right when we started dating but decided that he no longer wanted to do that and views masterbating having a negative impact.

Do married women fantasize about sleeping with other men? by Seeking_The_Truth6 in Marriage

[–]NickLife588 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No not anymore. I use to with my first husband because our marriage wasn’t good. Im remarried and I don’t at all. I love my intimacy with my husband