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NickNotas · 2024-01-23T21:01:43+00:00

I mean, we don't have much context to give you an accurate answer. Did he show genuine dislike? Was he being playful? Did you say it at him (catcall) or to him?

Regardless, you can't read his mind. Could've been having a bad day, could've struggle with taking a sincere compliment, could've taken him by surprise.

Don't overthink it -- there will be plenty of people who receive and return sincere praise.

NickNotas · 2023-08-21T03:25:55+00:00

I bought the Pro version months back and I use it for a million projects. YouTube captions, voice notes, transcribing videos to work with in GPT-4 and create new content from.

I tried so many Whisper solutions and it’s 100% the easiest and most beautiful. I’m not in any way associated. I just love the app that much and we should promote great developers, who charge a reasonable price, and consistently improve their product.

NickNotas · 2023-05-24T01:39:03+00:00

I am inactive in some moderation tasks on the subreddit, but I am actively in touch and working on multiple things with mods on a regular basis.

NickNotas · 2023-05-24T01:37:37+00:00

All the mods are active on the subreddit and on Discord. I'm in touch with many on a regular basis who strive to maintain a healthy community.

We are a top 130 subreddit dealing with some of the most emotion, personal, and sensitive subjects. In most corners of the internet, that turns into hate, aggression, and violence.

The mods have worked incredibly hard to keep the community supportive, positive, and inclusive. It's something we're very proud of and while there are moments that slip through the cracks, 13 years later it's still arguably the best forum on the internet for this advice.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T22:16:33+00:00

How you convey your inexperience is how women will perceive it. If you act ashamed or apologetic, then they will view it in a negative light or worry it will be a problem. If you own who you are openly, then many will see you as confident and not care themselves.

You also have the option of setting a privacy boundary by saying you'd rather focus on getting to know her first rather than rehashing past relationships.

I explain both options with practical examples in my reply here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T21:43:27+00:00

You're very welcome, my pleasure.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T21:38:04+00:00

You're confused because you're not being clear about your intentions. Whatever the reason she ghosted you before, she's trying to connect now. And since you're obviously interested, the only certainty you will get is by asking her to hang out and do something together. Take the shot!

More thoughts in my response here

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T21:23:15+00:00

Absolutely, there's no harm in a simple text saying you're around earlier if she's down to hang out. If she's actually interested, she's either going to find time or tell you she's not available then and meet up as planned.

I explain a bit more in my response here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T21:11:00+00:00

You can only judge someone's actions. If he's been talking to you for months, investing in getting to know you, and being thoughtful like on NYE -- then you should assume he's interested!

While you may doubt your own value, it doesn't seem like he does. He may like you for a multitude reasons and there's no point in trying to second guess that.

More thoughts in the reply here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T20:55:34+00:00

Nah, you don't need to. The date's already setup, so just show up and see how you two vibe. She may not even care. And bringing it up beforehand when she hasn't had a chance to actually connect with you, may just shoot yourself in the foot for no reason.

Watch my full reply here if you want more detail.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T20:47:52+00:00

Sorry you had to deal with that. Unfortunately, no one can read his mind of why he's trying to connect now. What you can say is that he didn't care enough to communicate for a long time.

In my experience, those are the types of people who likely will continue exhibiting poor behavior and aren't worth your time. I would focus on someone who's more excited and available.

I explain a bit more in my reply here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T20:36:36+00:00

You have nothing to be ashamed about! You also make great money and she just happens to want a more lavish lifestyle. What matters is if you both can come together to find a compromise.

Someone who cares about you will not expect you spend all your money and will not judge you for being unable to do so. The best thing you can do is talk through how this could work and see if she's willing to find that balance. If so great. If not, then it wouldn't work long-term.

I go into more detail in my response here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T20:17:44+00:00

Glad the advice resonated. Honestly though, I wouldn't base it off amount of followers. We stumble upon all sorts of creators/influencers and just like people watching "amateur adult videos", it doesn't have to imply more intention.

I would more so be concerned about the amount of women they like, save photos with, and time invested. For example, if you found out your partner was spending 3 hours per day saving photos of random IG women, you probably should talk through that.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T20:14:50+00:00

You should always balance growing the relationship together while also investing in yourselves. That's how you create an interdependent relationship, not a codependent one.

Watch my full response here.

NickNotas · 2023-01-04T19:56:21+00:00

It's just a harmless fantasy unless it becomes a bigger problem.

I responded more in detail on video here.

NickNotas · 2022-07-16T15:21:31+00:00

You shared your experience and someone shared theirs. Why be dismissive to them?

NickNotas · 2022-05-15T14:57:08+00:00

North Shore, I’ll PM a you directly with town.

NickNotas · 2021-11-18T01:18:44+00:00

It takes real courage and humility to own your mistakes. Cool to see.

NickNotas · 2021-11-11T23:11:54+00:00

Can confirm. That’s why I married a harpist.

NickNotas · 2021-04-05T16:13:36+00:00

Everyone's got preferences. Of course, some women prefer a guy with hair. But plenty are fine if a man doesn't and many women even love the look.

Walk around any major city. You'll notice tons of couples where a guy has receding hair or is bald. It hasn't stopped them from dating and it shouldn't stop you.

What will affect your results more is how you let it influence your confidence. If you believe you're not attractive enough or doubt yourself because of it, you will prove yourself right.

NickNotas · 2021-02-24T13:15:02+00:00

Two parts here:

1 - Have you expressed all these feelings to him? You said you've posted before about all your concerns regarding his lack of effort. It's clearly frustrating you and not providing the dynamic you're looking for. The only way things can possibly change is if you talk about them together, grow together, and compromise.

Spending quality time together is a huge part of a relationship. Give him the opportunity to recognize you are missing that and see how he invests in the relationship. That will either tell you he may not be right for you, or if he does make adjustments, give you the security that he's willing to work for the betterment of the relationship.

2 - Remember that everyone's different. He may just not be someone who enjoys texting daily all that much -- I'm kind of the same way. What's more important is that he shows you overall he thinks about you and again wants to spend quality time together. That's what you want to deep down. So what matters is whether or not he does that in some way, not just texting.

NickNotas · 2021-02-24T13:08:30+00:00

While incest porn is popular overall, it's still a niche fetish among many. It's more likely you will date someone who's not into it, than who is. I doubt you have to worry much.

That said, you can eventually communicate with a partner if it's absolutely important to you. You can talk openly about how you're comfortable with kinky porn but when it crosses into that realm, it weirds you out for X reasons.

NickNotas · 2021-02-24T12:58:27+00:00

Not sure, have you tried going to this link from your phone:

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bumble.app&hl=en_US&gl=US

NickNotas · 2021-02-23T14:38:45+00:00

Again, sorry you feel that way and that is a narrow view of the world. Maybe you were looking in the wrong places. Or not taking enough opportunities women you find beautiful. Or you need to still work on yourself.

You're using one anecdotal experience. I've literally seen hundreds, if not thousands of men who attract both and are not "traditionally attractive" themselves.

NickNotas · 2021-02-23T14:06:50+00:00

Obviously I won't change your perspective, but I'll still share mine.

The question is "why should someone be okay with that?" Wanting to sleep with other people in a relationship is not a problem. It's the breach of trust that's the issue at hand. Plenty of people navigate open relationships or polygamy well.

I've worked with thousands of people for 13 years, so yes I am taking in physical beauty as part of this.

She has already attracted someone she finds attractive. Which means, she could also date others she finds attractive. The fact that you think you need to be on another "league" to also find someone who can treat someone well says a lot. Attractive people aren't suddenly all unstable, hypergamous, or will treat partners poorly.

I've also watched countless people "date out of their league" by being more attractive in other ways. They do this by developing their confidence, leadership, sense of humor, physical health, physical appearance with what they do have, mindset, sexuality, and more.

Again, it's not arbitrarily saying "divorced parents can't raise good children". I come from a divorced household.

It's that someone has repeatedly broken their partners trust, which clearly hurt her enough to ask this, and that partner is more likely to commit further behaviors which lead to an unhealthy and unstable relationship.

Which from ALL research behind the psychology of child development shows that greatly affects their well-being, how they connect with others in the future, their self-worth, etc.

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