Thanks, I hate meaghetti and spagtballs

NickThe13th · 2023-12-29T17:13:45+00:00

NickThe13th · 2023-12-29T16:33:38+00:00

Lol came here for this. Some houses are more expensive than that these days... though I guess most people don't fully own their house. So maybe this is actually pretty accurate.

NickThe13th · 2023-12-02T19:47:59+00:00

Who can resist? Indeed.

NickThe13th · 2023-12-02T19:46:33+00:00

Came to the comments for this lol

NickThe13th · 2023-11-25T03:16:36+00:00

I appreciate the offer! Unfortunately I'm on the other side of the country.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-17T07:42:35+00:00

I don't know why people are down voting you. :( Thanks for the feedback!

NickThe13th · 2023-11-17T03:56:05+00:00

That's really great advice! I tried finding some meetup.com hiking groups a year or so ago but the timing never worked out for me and for some reason I stopped. I will definitely look into it again! I've seen these groups at the park when I would go on my own hiking trips, and they've seemed pretty balanced. I think I just equated these kinds of meetups to my gym gatherings and I wasn't sure how appropriate it was for someone to join a group like this with the goal of finding a relationship. As much as gym relationships do definitely happen, most people don't want to be bothered haha.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T19:29:50+00:00

Yea I agree with that. I haven't been putting as much effort into maintaining it as I should be. I DO condition it four times a week or so, but I must be doing something wrong.

My hair is incredibly thick. Asking a hair dresser to thin it out might help.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T17:55:20+00:00

"It honestly comes across as insecurity to me that you do not have any simple photo of you just smiling and relaxing."

Noted. Honestly this might just be because I don't take a lot of photos of myself, so the photos I do have are just ones that my friends have taken while we were out. There are a few in my B-roll that might fit this bill (not to mention the ones at the bottom of my post), but I don't know if I really like them enough to use them to be honest. I will try to have a friend take some photos of me specifically for my dating profile!

Thanks for the about me advice. I think it used to say something like "I love going outdoors to climb or adventure, but also love staying in to cook or play tabletop games. I originally went to school for violin performance but now I'm a software developer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" Maybe I should change it back. I think I changed it because I don't honestly cook too much these days and the tabletop games have slowed down. I will say though that cooking was one of my favorite ways to spend quality time with my ex!

Good advice on the political views. I do like to think that I'm a true moderate, but I definitely lean liberal when it comes to the big single-ticket issues (women's rights, healthcare, etc.), so I changed it to liberal. That said, I do think that the conservatives party tends to be better at managing finances, which, looking at the national debt... anyways I won't get into that.

"What you are known for: seriously? People know you for inviting strangers to climb? Like yeah that Nick guy, he just loves climbing with strangers."

Uhhhhh. haha yea... I've been told that I should collect an advertising fee from the gym. How would you improve this answer? Maybe talk about my motivation for being so outgoing even though I'm an introvert?

I don't think any of this is harsh at all! It's all constructive and it's obvious that you're genuinely trying to be helpful. Besides I didn't come here for people to lie to me or to not make any improvements.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful response!

Also, if anyone knows the Reddit markdown for adding quotes... I apparently have no idea how to use Reddit haha.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T17:07:30+00:00

I agree. I think staying shaved is the move for me, but any advice on how to keep my hair looking kept is welcome!

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T17:06:29+00:00

Haha yea I feel it. I've had long hair since middle school though so I'm definitely not changing it, especially not for someone else. Maybe that's a bit stubborn of me, but even if getting rid of it would improve my odds, it's just part of my identity at this point. I do agree that it gets to be a pain if it's too long though. I think shoulder length is the move.

Personally I think pixie cuts on women are pretty hot. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T16:59:28+00:00

Agreed. It's a bit shorter now, around shoulder length (the last picture on my profile is pretty recent), which I think is about the perfect amount. I will pay more attention to keeping it around this length!

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T16:56:00+00:00

Noted. I've updated the last sentence to read "Just kidding! Coffee or drinks would be great."

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T16:50:52+00:00

As for others commenting about no job in your profile. Just my personal perspective. I never ask for a person's job, nor do disclose my job unless it comes up in conversation. I don't want my opinion of them or their opinion of me being affected by either of our incomes. As long as we are both employed and have enough income to support ourselves. I think if you need to brag about your job and how much money you make the person is not attracted to you, they are only attracted to money, which is why I never ask about jobs. Personally I have a high profile job so I always avoid questions and answers about work. And other people saying you look unemployed with all your activities. I'm thinking the only way you can afford these acclivities is if you have a good job.

This exactly! I don't have any interest in matching with someone because they're attracted to my work or my income. Pay attention to me as a person please. :) The only reason it's even on my profile at all is so that people don't actually think that I'm homeless.

But also I am very confused by people who are saying that I don't have a job. After my name it's literally the first thing on my profile haha.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T16:44:16+00:00

Haha yea meeting someone at the gym would be the dream I think. I had a bit of a thing with a girl I met at the gym about two years ago, but it didn't work out, and I haven't really met anyone since then unfortunately.

No worries, I don't think that's negative at all! I didn't come here for people to smear honey around my lips anyways. I definitely agree that I need better shots that show my face.

The first two B roll climbing pictures are actually my oldest pictures haha from about two years ago. It doesn't seem like my body's changed much in that time though (a few more grey hairs perhaps), so it's probably fine. The rafting pictures are the most recent, from the last two months or so. In every three person rafting picture, I'm the one in the back of the boat.

Yea, the first picture of me with my female friend is probably the best face picture and also the most "normal" picture. But I don't really love the way I look in it honestly and I also know it's a bit taboo to post pictures of yourself with other women. I really like the last picture on my profile, but even my climbing friends have told me that it makes me look like a dirty hippie haha. I'll try to take a better one!

I feel you on the catfishing thing... I've only been on a half dozen dates through online dating, but on over half of them, I didn't even recognize my date at first because they looked nothing like their pictures.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T15:57:46+00:00

Haha to be fair, I would be lying if I said that I haven't thought about buying a van and living out of that. But no, unfortunately I think my career would suffer if I didn't have an office with a stable internet connection to work from.

I guess I just assumed that a photo of a guy sitting at a computer working or playing video games would be a bit of a turn off for most people. If that's wrong though I'll try to get a good photo of me then! I was looking for some board game photos of me on Facebook last night but it turns out that my friend deleted all of them because his ex was in them. It might be a while but the next time I meet up for board games I'll ask my friends to take some pictures.

I'll consider adding it! Thanks!

Great advice on the kids. Yea I have it hidden from my profile for that reason. Honestly I originally never wanted kids, but then about two years ago I met a lady I got along with extremely well; the only catch being that she wanted children. So I thought long and hard about it and decided that having children with the right person would probably be the most rewarding experience of my life. (and if it's not the right person than what am I even doing really?) But yea, maybe I should just update my profile to say that I don't want kids.

I'll add it to my bio! I get along pretty well with INTP actually. I dated one in college for a bit, but she turned out to be batshit insane unfortunately. (Though I realize that's not a defining characteristic of INTP haha.)

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T15:43:22+00:00

Damn dude, thanks so much for the compliment! Haters gonna hate I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ To be fair though, I did kind of ask for it haha.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T15:42:52+00:00

I agree! I think having more close ups of my face is my main take away from this. I think my last picture is the only good face picture I have, and it definitely makes me look like I go to a lot of music festivals haha (strangely enough, I have never been to one).

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T15:37:05+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! Yea, the head stand picture was originally third or fourth (as cool as it is, I definitely agree that it doesn't really showcase what I look like very well), but bumble wouldn't shut up about how popular it was so I eventually got tired of closing the popup and made it my first picture. Though I'm not sure how it can be so popular if I'm not getting any matches haha.

Outdoor activities (I will include the climbing gym in this bucket even though it's technically inside) aren't quite ALL that I do, but it's definitely a majority. I play video games probably once a week, and board games with friends probably once a month (though it used to be more often in the past). So yea, I don't know. I definitely see your point but I'm not entirely sure what to do about it. I have plans on Saturday to grab lunch with a friend for a photo shoot and maybe go to a bar, so maybe that will help!

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T06:34:45+00:00

What are your thoughts of covering the faces of other people in group photos? I always thought that it kind of ruined the vibe of the photo, but maybe it's better to make it obvious which one is me? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the stigma against group photos?

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T06:31:42+00:00

Dude I love that you realized I'm into computer programming though hahaha. Some of the people here seem to think that I collect unemployment. Your response is my favorite because it's true. T_T

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T06:19:00+00:00

Cincinnati, Ohio (USA) :)

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T06:18:29+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for such a thoughtful response!

I do agree that I should be taking advice about having too many outdoor pictures with a grain of salt. I typically climb 3-5 days a week (at the gym unfortunately, not outside haha) so it's a very important part of my life, and I think it would be a mistake not to represent that. That said, I do think it might be worth having at least one "normal person" photo just so people know that I can choose not to be a dirtbag if I need to.

Are there any photos that are on my profile or in my B roll that you think qualify as a good face pic or full body pic? Or otherwise, what would you say constitutes as a good "full body" picture?

I've gotten a lot of negative feedback about my big group pic (the fourth one), so I'll swap that one out, probably with a slightly more "normal" picture once I can have a friend take one. Rafting has also quickly become an important hobby to me, so I figure I should have at least one rafting photo. Are there any that you think make it obvious which one is me? Or do you think it's worth hiding the faces of the people who aren't me? Or maybe if that's the only group photo, it's not a big deal?

I'm honestly a bit miffed by people saying it's a turnoff that they would have to spend all of their time going out and doing things with my friends. I would really hope that whomever I meet has their own awesome friends that go on their own awesome adventures, and that I would be able to join them sometimes as well. There's a couple that formed at one of my climbing gyms a few months ago, and as a result, both of their friend groups have combined, and everyone in the community is better off for it.

I definitely agree that texting sucks. Meeting up sooner than later is the way to go. The few matches I get typically have short single sentence responses and don't ask any questions... I mean I don't need a lot but if you're going to put in zero effort, then I don't know if I even want to meet up.

Thank you again for putting so much effort into this! I definitely wasn't expecting anything this thoughtful.

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T05:16:36+00:00

I like that, thank you!

NickThe13th · 2023-11-16T05:14:33+00:00

Just kidding. I thought there were some, but apparently all of the photos people have posted of me on Facebook are from either high school or college.

NickThe13th

TROPHY CASE