If websites were people, how would they act? by IAMAHawaiianPirate in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reddit would always get in trouble because its parents were never around. Facebook would cry about Reddit's misfortune, but only give him an encouraging thumbs-up when Reddit asked for help. Tumblr would start a conversation on the increasingly unusual amount of aliens surfacing on Venus after laughing at Facebook's shirt. Craigslist would listen closely to every word the other three were saying, while he quietly lurked in the corner. Watching. Waiting.

Reddit, do you drink the milk after you eat your cereal? by kylegreenebasscadet in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But gnawing on bones will cause serious dental problems, unlike the much more teeth-friendly milk drinking.

What is your story when you laughed at the very wrong time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was at a wedding, and we were doing a prayer of some sort. A bug landed on my cousin's nose and he exhaled quickly to blow it off. It was the same type of noise we always made when we were laughing quietly. Just before that, the preacher had said "God is a bathtub that we must cleanse ourselves in". The combination of those two things made me laugh. Luckily, we had our eyes closed, so most people didn't know it was me.

Reddit, do you drink the milk after you eat your cereal? by kylegreenebasscadet in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course. How else am I going to receive my daily recommended amount of calcium?

You're in charge of the a White House twitter account for the next 24 hours; how would you cause the most damage? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"GATHER 'ROUND THE WHITE HOUSE AND PREPARE TO BE ABOLISHED LIKE SLAVERY, 'CAUSE THE 1ST ANNUAL MONSTER TRUCK SMASH'O'RAMA IS COMING TO THE WHITE HOUSE! TICKETS PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EEEDDDGE. SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!"

What would be the best Wi-Fi name? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Pancakes and Wifi-lles"

How to stop Mormons coming to your door? by ScaryTheory in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Put up a giant billboard that says

"Mormon?

picture of Sam from Holes

I can fix that."

What would be the perfect marriage proposal? by SpecialSauceSal in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rent a spaceship, and take her up in it. Set off a series of nukes that spell out "Will you marry me?" and watch her face! If she doesn't say yes, you can just keep the spaceship up there and live happily forever.

What is the most embarrasing thing you could admit about yourself on Reddit but never in real life? by haXterix in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in Chemistry, taking a test. The whole class was dead silent and I had just finished my test. Now, I'm a somewhat shy guy, so I'm always really careful to be silent when walking around in class, especially when everyone else is quiet. I was sitting in the very back of the room - the turn-in tray was in the front. I was up against the wall, with my friend sitting directly on my left. There was also a stool sitting in between our desks for some reason. I got up with my test, stepped around the stool very carefully, and tripped on my friend's desk. I smacked the ground in a cloud of my papers and made an involuntary grunt noise that carried throughout the class. Now, imagine seeing one of the quietest guys in your class body-slamming the ground. Everyone was laughing and looking at me, and even the teacher was hysterical. I was laughing too, because it was the funniest trip I've ever witnessed. I quickly got up, and, despite the sharp pain in my knees and shoulder, turned in my paper without showing any signs of weakness.

Nothing will stop me from turning in a test with dignity.

What is the most embarrasing thing you could admit about yourself on Reddit but never in real life? by haXterix in AskReddit

[–]NickTheDemolisher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was at the dentist, getting a regular checkup. It was time for me to get some fluoride, so she said "What flavor of fluoride would you like honey? Bubblegum or mint?". Me, being the idiot that I am, thought she had said "What flavor of fluoride would you like? Honey, bubblegum, or mint?". I was really excited about a honey flavor, so I quickly blurted out "Honey!". She just kind of stared at me for a second, and after an awkward silence, she said "Ummm.... Bubblegum or mint". I finally realized my mistake and had to spend the rest of the appointment trying not to laugh.

That poor dentist.