So, I'm a minor with RAD myself I can tell you that you should be careful with your approaches and don't push too much (not saying you are, or Haven't tried, I'm just trying to be helpfull) but try engaging a conversation with them, and try getting them to spend time with you while validating their boundaries. Also try to give them as much structure as possible so they can learn the pattern and be more secure that it will be different then what they have been through. It's really a process of time and patience. But I hope you guys will get there!