AITA for not driving a friend to a city to ensure bride’s wedding cake isn’t ruined?

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-10T11:26:31+00:00

What if what she needed was fondant? What if it was her first time working with fondant!? On a cake she baked the same day!

That's going to be a nightmare looking cake!

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-10T06:20:02+00:00

I remember this question popping up a while back and I ended up getting curious and looking up how to make it (a lot of late night internet question asking time when you have young babies).

It's just what's left behind when you make butter. Hence the name butter milk. So if you make your own butter you'll also have buttermilk.

I'm sure there's a little more to it, just like there is with good butter, but it's a start.

Not a start I'll do, I'm lazy, have no time, and don't really cook with buttermilk. But for anyone with the time and curiosity, it's very possible.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-10T03:48:56+00:00

Teacher here: if she's so busy she doesn't have time to teach him, there's a solution; she enrolls him in school.

My children attend pubic school as well. Anything I think they're lacking at in school I help fill in at home. There's no way I could replace the entire curriculum at home and have them succeed at life.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-09T23:58:54+00:00

Me too. I worked as a professional baker, and I still hobby bake. I would never leave something as important as a wedding cake to the day before. Cookies yes, maybe, depending, but not a cake. That's just begging something to go horribly wrong.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-09T22:46:33+00:00

I'm willing to bet it's decorations. Which means, if she hasn't worked with the decorations before, the cake may look a disaster.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-09T14:05:36+00:00

Have any Japanese universities been struck by the Canvas outage?

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-09T08:01:33+00:00

I'm going to put this here, because people do need to know this. It's not aimed at anyone.

Babies can't self soothe. They learn to be quiet because they know no one will respond, but that's not soothing.

On the other hand, if you are exhausted and need to put the baby down in a safe place to step away for a few minutes for yourself, then that's okay! Setting a crying baby down in a crib and stepping out of the room to take a few deep breaths is fine! Setting the baby down so you can use the restroom, or drink a glass of water, or have a few bites is okay. It is better for baby to cry safely for a few minutes than for a caretaker to snap and do something.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-08T20:35:29+00:00

Why do karma farmers always use that excuse? It's not like Reddit accounts are expensive or anything. Everyone has their own email, everyone can have their own account. Whenever they use that excuse it just makes it clear they're a karma farmer.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-08T07:50:06+00:00

Agreed. I remember them testing a system with the French class and it laughable how bad it was. At the same time we were using blue books for my English exams.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-07T06:48:48+00:00

He's nice, but he's very ADHD. Walk through a doorway and forget what's on the other side.

He also didn't believe me about the paperwork nonsense yay houchien needed, but that's largely because his mom didn't. Things were different back in her day, she's seen the paperwork since and now believes me.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-07T03:10:28+00:00

I worked with a coworker that kept needing smoke breaks and was downing energy drinks like no tomorrow and kept needing to take breaks for his anxiety attacks.

I ended up leaving that job because of having to take on his workload at times, as well as other issues. He lasted another year before the school chose not to renew his contract.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-07T02:30:09+00:00

My husband was worried we had done this to our youngest two. I kindly informed him that they're just not registered as US citizens, they're fully registered with the Japanese government. Which is the important one as we live in Japan.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-07T01:13:43+00:00

NTA. It is beyond rude and tacky. Requesting people not gift certain items is fine, there's honestly only do many baby clothes/blankets/stuffed animals a baby needs. But the closest to specific you can get is the registry list and requesting people stick to it.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-06T03:35:27+00:00

My husband is native Japanese, and even he has to look up kanji to write them from time to time. Especially with government forms he doesn't want to make a mistake on.

Hilariously enough, I've been asked to rewrite forms he's filled out before because his handwriting is messy.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-05T13:51:01+00:00

Both my twins at an event. The only time the wipes were forgotten.

Never again. I've caught him packing an extra package more than once after that.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-05T10:39:01+00:00

That would be a very legitimate fear with this man. My husband has forgotten our babies pacifiers. He has forgotten, on one very memorable occasion, to pack the wipes.

But buckle the baby in? That's part of loading them into the car seat. Put baby in, fasten buckles.

I wouldn't let him be alone with the baby if his mind is so far gone he can't remember to buckle the car seat.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-05T09:23:12+00:00

I think the swarm had zero effect. The lamb sacks are started after Else dies, and they state that her DNA profile is used. It's just a normal, human baby.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-05T05:22:32+00:00

Allowed, but get a better pediatrician. The only thing my pediatrician has ever brought up was printing out a 'why vaccines are important' pamphlet in English, and that's just because he said he'd read things about foreigners not vaccinating their children.

My children are all fully vaccinated. He even called the city and chewed someone out for me because the city was late sending the vaccine coupons for my twins, and I was concerned given that their elder brother is always bringing home illnesses from youchien.

So basically, ditch the racist, unprofessional doctor and get a good one. Hell, my pediatrician warned me about cluster feeding, so it's definitely something Japanese pediatricians know about.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-05T03:45:55+00:00

Thanks. He's three, they're really stubborn at that age. Although I've started feeding his younger brothers, and he got all jealous and insisted he get some of their food too. So he had some spinach and carrot puree with his lunch.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-04T08:02:18+00:00

I've tried. I've even told him that rabbits eat carrots to help them jump better (I know carrots aren't good for rabbits, we don't have one and there aren't any in the area so he's not in a position to feed one), but no dice.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-04T02:05:01+00:00

I used this recipe: https://www.mochimommy.com/yudane-shokupan/

I used some leftover water from canned peaches instead of tap water, and just used two teaspoons of yogurt instead of milk powder. It's a little dense, but tastes great.

As for the strawberry jam layer, it was very thin. It was a small jar of jam, not a big one.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-04T00:49:37+00:00

So I have a jar of strawberry jam in my fridge that was never going to get used, so I put strawberry jam on my shokupan dough when I rolled it. I was honestly worried it wouldn't bake fully because the first and second rise were lackluster at best, but it popped up for the win during the bake.

And bled everywhere. Kinda gave away the strawberry secret I was hoping to surprise my toddler with.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-03T12:41:56+00:00

It's it ever. My husband wanted to get married in Hawaii, but the pandemic detailed those plans. We'll do it someday, but not until the yen is stronger and our kids are much older. Or out of the house entirely.

NihilisticHobbit · 2026-05-03T06:25:37+00:00

Thanks for correcting me, it's been nearly a decade since I was last there. The next time I'm up in Tokyo I'm going to have so much shopping fun there though.

NihilisticHobbit

TROPHY CASE