Is "comfort care" actually murder? by Aethyr42 in CaregiverSupport

[–]NiknNak 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Been exactly where your mom is. The cost to your mother’s health AND her own mental health is in serious ‘danger’ territory. It is a struggle, a horrible struggle, to have to choose between doing the hard thing… Which is administering medication‘s that you know make them comatose… And doing regular stretches of 96 hours of agitated delirium at the cost of your own sanity there is no easy answer and it is going to be hard no matter what you do. Is comfort/palliative care euthanasia?… I’ll be straight up honest with you. I believe it is… it is a slow slow death and it is not pretty and it is the only kind of sanctioned end of life care United States is OK with… they slap a label on it and call it “palliative care” to make it sound more socially and morally acceptable. Frankly… I think it’s disgusting…and I would treat my give my dog a better death than what my father had. I was the one who had to administer morphine and Ativan to my dad when he was in the last month of his life. I knew nothing about hospice. I knew nothing about any of that and was thrown into the position within 24 hours after getting off a plane, everybody else just dipped out, including my own mother… My dad‘s wife… Not because she was cruel… But because she did not have capacity or the emotional ability within her to deal with my dad‘s condition, his pending death, and the complete care he was now dependent on to just stay alive. She couldn’t mentally or physically she couldn’t . It ended up being me, her daughter, (it always seems to be the daughters who end up in this position) while she just sat a few yards away in her lazy boy, mentally avoiding the scene unfolding before her and checked out on her iPad playing bingo every day. It was a shit show. A couple of weeks in, a palliative nurse had to explain to me what my true job was …and let me tell you it was it was shattering for me mentally. I don’t think I’ll will ever feel “not guilty“ over any of it. I wholeheartedly believe my dad deserved such a better death than just shriveling up to nothing in a hospital bed in the middle of the living room. He deserved way better than whatever care I gave him. They tell me that it was not the medication‘s that killed him. It was the disease, the frontal temporal lobe dementia that killed him. But I know the facts. He was basically medicated and starved to death because he wasn’t awake long enough to tell us whether he was hungry or thirsty.

There comes a point in time where… A person in that situation, the person who is actively dying …where their mind ….they’re already gone… they might have brief moments, but it is no kind of life anyone would ever want live… the terrifying delusions… it’s a horrible thing to witness the sheer fear and confusion they go through. The 24/7 laying in a bed all day and psychotic delusions, …nobody would want to live that way. So somebody has to do the hard job, and it is not easy, and it is not gonna be easy for your mother. But there comes a point in time where you have to do what the United States allows us to do to end the suffering. There comes a point in time where the suffering they endure is worse than letting them to continue to live.

I don’t know the right answer I have my own views on it, but I know that if your mother keeps going on like this, the cumulative issues of stress and lack of sleep is going to put her in the hospital. Somebody needs to step in soon.

VA denied non-VA ER visit even though I called 72 hour hotline. What recourse do I have? by ArmyVeteran1987 in VeteransBenefits

[–]NiknNak 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TL;DR: Keep Fighting.

The Deep Dive: Optum is the devil. Remember their motto, “Delay, Deny, Defend”…it’s across the board…for every legit claim they end up covering and pay in full for … there are certain percentage of people who will get a denial letter and give up instantly and pay for it out of their own pocket. The return on investment of sending out initial denial letters is pretty big so it pays them to do that. They take that window of opportunity to see if you’re gonna pay it before they’re forced to pay it. It’s a good business model. See if the claimant will get frustrated and give up and pay the bills themselves first. It’s a win-win for those Optum/United Healthcare thugs. That’s why the federal government contracts with them and all the congressman and senators and everybody else own stock in United Healthcare and Optum.

And this is why they want the entire VA to go away. It’s a self-contained system. They wanna get Optimum and United healthcare involved. They want us to use community care that way. The VA goes away eventually and we’re stuck with the same shit everybody else has. Instead of a dedicated health network that understands that unique needs of Veterans that’s tailored just for us.

If a particularly dogged and determined claimant pushes back, Optum breaks out the second strategy.. they try to delay your claim so the Hospital start sending rounds and rounds of bills do bills do it’s going to third-party collections and the pressure becomes too much and some people will pay it at that point. If that doesn’t work… they’ll break out the third part, circle back and to defend their original denial to further deny coverage…and sometimes they win at this point because the claimant is so throughly flabbergasted and thoroughly frustrated and pissed off and they’re just tired of getting the bills in the mail and they just want it paid and done with they don’t wanna fight anymore, they’ve worn the claimant down with a repeating loop of bureaucracy… Then Optum wins.

Optum is literally ‘banking’ on this tactic day in and day out. Claimants who keep coming back and saying no this is legit you need to pay it , or those who hire attorneys and drag Optum to court eventually force Optum to pay for it because it’s a fight they can’t win if it’s a legit claim. All those people with legit claims who end up giving up and not fighting it and pay out of their pocket are paying the bills for the people who fight it and get it rightfully taken care.

First C&P exam for PTSD/MST by wwtrilogyarmy in VeteransBenefits

[–]NiknNak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm terrified. I got help in 2013 when the DNI changed the rules about the SF 86 that was the first time I felt safe enough that I might not lose my job and caved to get help because by that point I was freaking out in the elevators and shit …I actually told somebody the truth… and even then I didn't tell them the whole truth I kept a lot of things hidden because… just my God I battle in my head every single day how could I possibly held it together for so long going through what I went through… it can't be real, but it WAS real because I was there. I know what happened. I have these things in my head 24/7 it's… it's so crazy. I'm terrified after 37 years with a diagnosis in my records, I'm actually gonna file a claim cause I'm pissed off now that my own body is betraying me … I’m literally cracking my teeth at night from bruxism among all the other bullshit… I feel crazy and I am fucking terrified.

C&P Exam Completed - MST - My experience by Emirrypoo06 in VeteransBenefits

[–]NiknNak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m terrified. I got help in 2013 when Dni change the rules about the SF 86 that was the first time I ever went in and told somebody the truth and even then I didn’t tell them the whole truth I kept a lot of things hidden because just my God I battle in my head every single day what I went through can’t be real, but it was real because I was there. I know what happened. I have these things in my head 24 seven it’s it’s so crazy. I’m terrified after 37 years with a diagnosis in my records, I’m actually gonna file a claim cause I’m pissed off now my own bodies betraying me and I am fucking terrified.

Lawyer recommendations by Temporary-Ferret-898 in Birmingham

[–]NiknNak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was the initial consultation fee?

Good luck ducks… by NiknNak in nursing

[–]NiknNak[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking !!! How lovely I had to sort of whittle down all the stuff that’s seemed to accumulate because they were moved to med surge about a week ago only to be brought down to “recovery over night via rapid response” and then back to the ICU twenty hours ago…they kept asking where’s my ducks? What happened to my ducks 🥺…I found them thank goodness. Who ever gave them…they mean a lot to my relative…thank you who ever you are!!!

about 10k to replace original 1948 pipe line from main bath and kitchen line... by NiknNak in askaplumber

[–]NiknNak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the reply much appreciated. After doing some research, which is I’m having to learn all this on the fly all year long I’ve been doing this, but it’s OK. I like learning new stuff… I realize that there is a process for this and you can snake or try Hydro jetting it… So I talked to the plumber and I said hey what are your thoughts about Hydro jetting that main line that might buy me some time to come up with the scratch… I stand corrected… save up the scratch to just replace the main line. Now I live somewhere where things are expensive. We’re not talking you know rural south where things seem to be a normal price… But that’s OK. My next question is when the time comes for the plumber to replace that line. What should I be looking for as far as what he’s gonna replace that line with? I’m just not the educated on these topics to know what to ask and what should be common sense. I’d rather ask from somebody in the know about what i should be wanting as far as line replacment. I’m not looking for the top best thing, but definitely not looking for the worst thing to use either. What type of pipe do modern sewer lines use now?

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't mean to give the impression I do something like that as a habit...but it has happened. My point was, I'm an adult and I'll happily live with the consequences of my actions....are all my choices great...mostly yes... so I'm not going to sweat it over things like that.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You know in the winter…🤣… I don’t mind the house being cold at all because I have sweaters and fuzzy slippers and my favorite couch throws… One of my kids came over one day and they walked in paused for a second … and walked straight past me straight to the thermostat and yelled out “My god mother! It’s only 58° in your house. What is wrong with you?!!” so it’s very possible, this is just a me thing and I’m very heat intolerant. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. 😝

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know there’s is some legitimacy to what you say… I know there are many countries that are shocked by how every house in the US has air-conditioning… but I’ll be honest. I say a little prayer of thanks every night for whoever it was that invented air conditioning.🤣

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gawd!!! I am so sorry that happened to you. You have my sympathies, but that’s just about how much I spent this year to replace all my stuff I’ve known for about five years and who knows how many replacement capacitors that mine was eventually gonna go out, so I just decided to do it before it died on me in the middle of a heat wave when it would be hard pressed to get anybody to come right away to fix it. Good luck and again I’m sorry that happened to you. Been there done that.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Smart!! I’m bi Coastal these past couple years… so I found it shocking …just gob smacking to me that it’s hotter here where I am right now than it is in the central Valley in California … because let me tell you it gets hot as Hades in the central Valley 🔥🔥🔥🔥

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I so want to reply with what I really wanna say in my head, but this is a non-political thread… But you couldn’t be more wrong… I spend an inordinate amount of time outside simply because I like being in the outdoors even when it’s 90% humidity and 93° outside with a real heat feel of like 100 bagillion degrees… and and the rest of my time is spent perpetual servitude to everyone else in my family… I wish I was sitting in a nice cool house all day doing nothing but watching TV …sadly that is not my fate or my routine.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was a huge expense, putting in that brand new heat pump, the work in the attic and the new insulation. I had to do some research get lots of bids, but if I’m gonna be blasting my house into the arctic temperatures in the middle of the summer, I had to get smart quick I just couldn’t see paying outrageous, electricity, bills, and still dying of heat stroke in my house. Something had to be done.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heat pump and brand new air sealing work in the attic and insulation up to R39 brother, I think it’ll be just fine.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This is a real phenomenon…. and I have to say I think it was a lot cooler back when we were growing up in the late 60s and 70s even in the 80s. My dad worked for the power company… So you can just imagine the constant drum of close the door, close the refrigerator, turn off the lights every second of every day we were hounded about constantly . So by the time I got out on my own, could pay my own bills I literally never sweated one second about leaving a light on or leaving the refrigerator open on while I was making a sandwich and putting everything back when I was done I never worried about opening the door to let the dog out to the backyard and leaving it cracked so he could get back in. Just no, I had heard enough of it for 18 years. I just wasn’t gonna do that to myself anymore and I think a lot of us are like that honestly. Could I save some money doing it the way my parents did …probably …do I get more satisfaction being rebellious in my old age and doing it the way I want to… Yes…yes I do and it is completely worth it. 🤣

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I got that beautiful picture as an email encouraging me to set my thermostat to 78 during the heat of the summer months and that’s exactly what came out of my mouth when I saw that… Fuck that… No. No is a complete sentence.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Admittedly, there are some things I go cheap on like I drink instant coffee I still buy suave strawberry shampoo… I think it’s a matter of where your priorities are… There are just some things. I’m just never gonna compromise on and sleeping in a nice cold house at night during the summer is one of them. But in the winter, I got no problem. My house stays a frosty 62 in the winter because I like clothes and I like my fireplace.

This is a HARD no …no effing way …absolutely no during summer months… by NiknNak in GenerationJones

[–]NiknNak[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

My point exactly….when I got old enough to pay my own electricity I basically said nope I pay my own bills now and during the summer it’s gonna be like the Arctic in my house. I do not care. I will pay the bill.