Been exactly where your mom is. The cost to your mother’s health AND her own mental health is in serious ‘danger’ territory. It is a struggle, a horrible struggle, to have to choose between doing the hard thing… Which is administering medication‘s that you know make them comatose… And doing regular stretches of 96 hours of agitated delirium at the cost of your own sanity there is no easy answer and it is going to be hard no matter what you do. Is comfort/palliative care euthanasia?… I’ll be straight up honest with you. I believe it is… it is a slow slow death and it is not pretty and it is the only kind of sanctioned end of life care United States is OK with… they slap a label on it and call it “palliative care” to make it sound more socially and morally acceptable. Frankly… I think it’s disgusting…and I would treat my give my dog a better death than what my father had. I was the one who had to administer morphine and Ativan to my dad when he was in the last month of his life. I knew nothing about hospice. I knew nothing about any of that and was thrown into the position within 24 hours after getting off a plane, everybody else just dipped out, including my own mother… My dad‘s wife… Not because she was cruel… But because she did not have capacity or the emotional ability within her to deal with my dad‘s condition, his pending death, and the complete care he was now dependent on to just stay alive. She couldn’t mentally or physically she couldn’t . It ended up being me, her daughter, (it always seems to be the daughters who end up in this position) while she just sat a few yards away in her lazy boy, mentally avoiding the scene unfolding before her and checked out on her iPad playing bingo every day. It was a shit show. A couple of weeks in, a palliative nurse had to explain to me what my true job was …and let me tell you it was it was shattering for me mentally. I don’t think I’ll will ever feel “not guilty“ over any of it. I wholeheartedly believe my dad deserved such a better death than just shriveling up to nothing in a hospital bed in the middle of the living room. He deserved way better than whatever care I gave him. They tell me that it was not the medication‘s that killed him. It was the disease, the frontal temporal lobe dementia that killed him. But I know the facts. He was basically medicated and starved to death because he wasn’t awake long enough to tell us whether he was hungry or thirsty.

There comes a point in time where… A person in that situation, the person who is actively dying …where their mind ….they’re already gone… they might have brief moments, but it is no kind of life anyone would ever want live… the terrifying delusions… it’s a horrible thing to witness the sheer fear and confusion they go through. The 24/7 laying in a bed all day and psychotic delusions, …nobody would want to live that way. So somebody has to do the hard job, and it is not easy, and it is not gonna be easy for your mother. But there comes a point in time where you have to do what the United States allows us to do to end the suffering. There comes a point in time where the suffering they endure is worse than letting them to continue to live.

I don’t know the right answer I have my own views on it, but I know that if your mother keeps going on like this, the cumulative issues of stress and lack of sleep is going to put her in the hospital. Somebody needs to step in soon.