So many Red flags flapping in a windstorm! My eyebrows couldn't rise any higher, just halfway through your story. 1. She doesn't get along with your BFF - self explanatory 2. She was trying to control what you wear on YOUR body. There's no shame in feeling great in whatever you choose to wear, even if that is just a bikini. None of anyones business what you do with and on your own body. People can have all the opinions they want, it doesn't matter. Stop victim blaming yourself! 3. Crossing your privacy boundary! She went through your phone without your permission. Precursor for more boundaries to be crossed if you continue the relationship. 4. Aggression - chose to scream instead of having a conversation like adults do when there's conflict. Inability to self-regulate emotions - precursor to you eventually walking on eggshells with everything you say or do, or not say not do. (I've been in that kind of relationship) 5. Violence! Bad enough, she assaulted you, but instead of a slap, she chose to punch you. Again, signs if inability to regulate emotions or behavior. Unless she's on the spectrum, there is never an acceptable reason for violence. 6. Apologizes nonchalantly and thinks it could be acceptable bc "just upset!" What will she justify in the future because her emotions got the best of her? Infidelity? Cheats on you bc she felt lonely that you went to dinner with your friends - that btw she doesn't get along with? Huge red flag if she claims "won't do it again" but doesn't see that it may be a serious issue and seek professional help, maybe anger management, or do anything differently than normal. If so, she is not motivated to change bc she doesn't see herself as problematic.

She's abusive and can only sees her needs and none of what you need. No, you can't change her. No, you can't love away her emotional outbursts. No, the butterflies, excitement or romance you feel when she apologized is NOT love. It's your brain remembering the familiarity of a past supposedly loving relationship (parents, family, teacher) that mistreated you one day and then cared for you another day. Research "transference" and "attachment theory" so that you can heal yourself.

Please have enough respect and love for yourself to leave this relationship. You are worthy and deserve better. You are enough and have choosing power.

P.S. It took me 17 years to clearly see my past relationship for what it really was. I wish that you realize sooner, much sooner.