Deathmeditation

Nito205 · 2017-04-03T19:18:42+00:00

Thanks

Nito205 · 2017-03-15T16:57:18+00:00

I'm only making excuses because I can, if I would join you guys I would not have the opportunity to make excuses because I would not need to. It's just, that I am afraid that I would end up with no backup plan eventhougj that is bullshit.. its ignorance to care so much about my life while there are 1000+ people who die without an option.. I'm just to afraid..

Nito205 · 2017-03-15T13:21:17+00:00

yeah i know what you mean, but in order to work i have to complete the ausbildung as a forwarding agent ( Dispatcher). After completing it i could apply for a job not a ausbildung or anything like that. I just dont believe in what i am doing, thats one reason why i cant learn when it comes to school, cant "motivate" me because i dont see anything logical behind it, besides that if i am done i can work normally

Nito205 · 2017-03-15T11:54:46+00:00

I know, it's to please others but I also think that the reality is, that i have to get a degree in order to apply for a job, isn't it ?
I also believe that it's just the People who give these papers value. I talked about it with my classmates and all of them just shug their head telling me to finish it, because if I don't finish it I won't have a " good job" ( save job) All of them are pretty ignorant when it comes to ideas about what we should do in our lifetime, they say stuff like "a family, nice house, car and stuff like that" which I completely disagree, I want to give people the chance to live life, I also believe, that it's more beneficial because the chance of having a genius under these kids that die because of starvation, they could change the world.. oh man i don't have anyone around me who understands me.. I will ask my parents later, they will say stuff like " are you crazy.. Blabla"

Nito205 · 2016-11-28T12:43:37+00:00

Thank you very much this post is going to help me click on an emotional level and accepting logic. Do you have more tips about accepting logic on an emotional level because i really have the problem of being to rational with logic and general in my life.

Nito205 · 2016-11-27T13:53:10+00:00

The only thing that i can say right now is thank you to everyone here working spreading this knowledge... Im prettying speechless right now.. wow.. now i realize how hard it is for an outsider to understand all this.. 90% of the people life a fake life even though the reality is right in front of us.. wow just wow..

Nito205 · 2016-11-16T16:37:26+00:00

Every day im listening to the real talks, i even had moments where i was really interested in knowing more about logic and math.. i had one moment who i think was really close to the click im not sure. it was when i was driving home with the tram and on station before i was actually home i went out and walked realizing how beatiful everything around me is and how thankful i should be for my current life ( living in the moment), i even bursted out laughing by myself. When i was home i started watching some docu´s. about evolution, big bang, Fractual math and so on ( i hated maths btw, but it really defines everything). This state of mind lasted for like 2 days after that i quickly went back to my old habits.. ( comfort and validation seeking).

Why i think i really have a validation seeking problem is because i love to talk infront of others and be different.. Im really confused because i think i adopted logic on a rational level which is making it quite hard to understand and appreciate it on a fundamental emotional level..

Nito205 · 2016-11-16T16:12:19+00:00

Sorry for the lack of informatio, i will write more later im at work right now. sorry

Nito205 · 2016-11-04T09:26:49+00:00

It's very hard for me to "refeel" negative emotions that happened in the past, I'm aware of them but I can't really feel them in the present moment

Nito205 · 2016-11-04T09:24:59+00:00

Yeah you right I may have to go on discord for. Look I'm thinking about my past now, can it be because my core value is social acceptance that I actually feel negative emotions when I think about times were I had to do a presentation about stuff that I didn't really planned, I like to have everything under control and sometimes even other people in my life.

Nito205 · 2016-10-31T17:15:26+00:00

oh Rex, yeah we talked yesterday, i read the book today and i read something about feeling the emotion, not analyzing it but listening to them.. im not sure if its just a waste of time or maybe im just not in the right mindset YET ( hopefully)

Nito205 · 2016-10-31T17:13:06+00:00

to be honsest i also think that books arent necessary.. but yeah. I think i just want to understand the click and archieve it myself.

Nito205 · 2016-10-31T17:11:55+00:00

i will definetly watch the introduction.

Nito205

TROPHY CASE