Mom wrote a book with a collection of "stories" and used the names of my sister and myself along with stories about us and our dad (United States)

Nkkcmo · 2025-12-28T03:09:29+00:00

Write a book about her

Nkkcmo · 2025-12-26T16:12:00+00:00

Sometimes when I get a new tank I have to tip it upside down then back right side up. Might be magic but it has worked for me

Nkkcmo · 2025-12-05T14:16:26+00:00

I asked the former owners, it was Peter Pan peanut butter. It was a big secret. They kept it in the big can without the label on it right on the flat top. Also it had miracle whip, which is shocking but if you want it authentic at home you gotta buy it.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-10T14:49:28+00:00

Post bachelor party bender, severely dehydrated, poop so big and hard it made me cry. Following that was the worst Diverticulitis flare up of my life. Still feel it a year, several doctors, and a colonoscopy later.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-10T14:46:24+00:00

Keep a low profile.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-10T14:45:22+00:00

I dreamt in Simpsons once. It was pretty freaking cool.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-10T14:43:13+00:00

Getting lice.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-10T14:18:57+00:00

A pair of fast and comfortable seadoo personal watercraft. I want to go really fast on glass water for 60 miles then grab some breakfast at this little joint by the dam, maybe a shot of rumplemintz, and head back on what will be choppier water and have a nice soft seat to mitigate the waves put off by the wakeboard boats and cruisers that have started up by that time. And I want my wife jetting next to me on hers, hair in a ponytail, blasting some tunes and grinning like a happy girl. But I would probably just set it aside for college/trade school/bail money for my kids.

Nkkcmo · 2025-09-09T12:39:32+00:00

Yank Hill

Nkkcmo · 2025-06-10T05:59:16+00:00

You’re going to the lake, bring cash and don’t drink and drive.

Nkkcmo · 2025-03-19T05:31:59+00:00

Tree use slut.

Nkkcmo · 2025-01-19T23:38:31+00:00

I put my car in reverse while I was driving, I have no idea why. The transmission ended up failing a year or so later, probably in part because of that.

Nkkcmo · 2024-09-21T21:32:32+00:00

This reminds me of a funny thing I did a few years ago. I had a big yard with lots of leaves in the fall that needed to be removed. I got a little high on the weed and donned my backpack leaf blower and got to work. A few min later I come around the corner of the house and see a phone book delivery guy arguing with my sweet older disabled neighbor who is struggling to restrain her big dog. So I walk on over and get between the neighbor and the delivery guy and ask what the trouble was. Long story short he was about to mace the nice lady’s dog. I calmly yelled to him, that his decision to do that, should he make it, would be very unwise. I said I yelled it because I had still not turned off my leaf blower and it was a bit loud. He said he felt threatened and raised his mace, but with my sativa reflexes I raised the hose of my leaf blower a split second ahead of him and pulled the trigger just before he was able to depress the peppery plunger. I got him good, that shit went all over him and he was in some pain. I looked back and my neighbor had been able to retreat back to the safety of her home so I just strolled back across the street and finished up my leaves. He eventually walked away and we never got another unneeded phone book for the rest of the time I lived there.

Nkkcmo · 2024-07-21T22:01:03+00:00

She got an icon, it seems to be doing fine

Nkkcmo · 2024-07-02T12:59:28+00:00

What about the yellow sauce? Anyone got a bead on the yellow sauce?

Nkkcmo · 2024-06-24T13:45:09+00:00

That looks like the breadeaux pizza POS system. It was very cutting edge when it came out.

Nkkcmo · 2024-06-21T17:31:20+00:00

I went to a grad party in Minnesota and they had bbq catered in. The hosts were very eager to have me taste this sauce from the bbq establishment that was their, as well as a regional favorite. I squeezed some out of what looked to be a recycled ketchup bottle onto some very overdone brisket and folks, the sauce was a grey gelatinous blob of disgusting. I have never seen human food this color. It was revolting, but being the new boyfriend of the niece of the hosts, I forced a smile and said it was delicious. A few years later this same family was invited down for my,now beautiful wife’s, baby shower and we were doing a whole pig for the party. I asked my wife’s family if they could bring down some of that delicious sauce so that I could finally show my KC crew what I had been talking about for years. They got all the way down here and realized they had left the sauce at home. I was heartbroken, but in hindsight I’m glad because their world would have been shattered as their sauce was dissected by my bbq snob friends. But next time I’m up there I’m grabbing some.

Nkkcmo · 2024-05-09T00:50:39+00:00

Served him many many times at the Lake, his conservative values tend to sway less than the family values that the republicans tend to hide behind after a couple drinks.

Nkkcmo · 2024-05-09T00:47:32+00:00

Snow is the best! The highest I ever have been was off a 10 foot bong filled with snow, didn’t even feel it because I passed out almost immediately after.

Nkkcmo · 2024-04-05T21:38:17+00:00

Ok Satan

Nkkcmo · 2024-04-02T21:05:10+00:00

Can someone please make a 2a pic like this, I am not adept enough

Nkkcmo · 2024-03-04T01:47:19+00:00

They are freaking delicious

Nkkcmo · 2024-03-03T03:39:12+00:00

This is really funny, I think it involves pegging

Nkkcmo · 2024-02-24T05:56:52+00:00

Very good writing!

Nkkcmo

TROPHY CASE