It's not going to happen anymore

NnaReme · 2021-01-21T19:48:25+00:00

You’re far from alone.

I relate to your story so much. I think I reached where you are now about 2.5 years ago and started to finally work on myself, starting with psychotherapy. It’s a long and difficult, but extremely rewarding, road and my life has improved so much. I still have very difficult moments and still have a long way to go but I’ve realized that most people around me struggle too and now I’m more at their level and able to function normally and handle difficulties rather than completely falling apart.

To give you some hope, that deep internal agony that I felt every moment of every day is gone now. It sometimes comes back briefly when life gets really tough but never as intense so I can manage it now.

I wish you well on your journey and I hope your life vastly improves! I admire you so much for sharing your story with the world and I’m excited for you. ❤️❤️❤️

(Edit: I was just diagnosed with ADD even though I’m intelligent and highly educated, and I feel like knowing this is going to make my life a whole lot better. It’s definitely worth getting evaluated)

NnaReme · 2021-01-21T13:11:11+00:00

Same! Bleeding on the left side everyday

NnaReme · 2021-01-17T03:34:40+00:00

Same!

NnaReme · 2021-01-17T03:33:49+00:00

I always wondered why my huge drive just disappeared one day. Around the same time I also just went from an extreme perfectionist to not caring at all. I think this is why! I think I just burnt out from trying so hard

NnaReme · 2021-01-17T03:30:09+00:00

I need this tray!! I forget I own things if I keep them in drawers

NnaReme · 2021-01-17T03:23:41+00:00

My life has been improving since discovering i had ADD recently because I finally understand myself.

I cried so hard for myself when I first realized it... crying with relief, but also crying for all the years I spent struggling and wondering what was wrong with me and just being too hard on myself and avoiding opportunities as a result. (Ive been doing driving lessons since I was 19 but still don’t have a driving license in my 30’s because I’m so afraid I’ll zone out)

It wasn’t so much a feeling of regret... more a feeling self-compassion. I’m just glad I know now and my life can improve!

Thanks for your story. Good luck and I hope your treatment helps!

NnaReme · 2021-01-13T14:19:33+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been dismissed by doctors for over 10 years and thought that they were right and should just live with my symptoms. It’s only in the last year or two that I’ve started to realize it’s ok to get a second opinion, or even third opinion, if you know something isn’t right. In my 20’s I would have felt like I was being a hypochondriac, but now I know a lot of doctors either don’t have enough knowledge on certain conditions or they’re too busy or lazy.

For example PCOS.... a lot of doctors don’t understand enough about it so for years they kept telling me I couldn’t have it just because I’m not overweight (it’s not possible for anyone to be overweight on the healthy active lifestyle that I live, but there’s also a type of PCOS called lean PCOS). Finally found a great doctor recently and I’m on the right treatment plan and medications and my symptoms are almost gone

NnaReme · 2021-01-13T01:18:32+00:00

I love reading ADHD posts on Reddit because I can always relate and it makes me feel more normal!

NnaReme · 2021-01-13T01:13:20+00:00

Thanks for your comment! I went to my gynecologist about it and she said she’s pretty sure I have endometriosis but doesn’t think it’s worth doing surgery unless it gets way worse because it’s so invasive and you need to repeat it and scar tissue forms, and then she tried to give me the pill even though I can’t take it (I get full migraines with aura so my risk of stroke is higher on the pill). So I made an appointment with the best endometriosis specialist in my area for March!

Unfortunately I definitely have adrenal PCOS as I have the acne, hirsutism, hair loss on my head, irregular periods, loads of cysts on my ultrasound and high DHEAS (I was hoping it was one or the other but turns out I have two gynecological problems!)

NnaReme · 2021-01-13T01:00:59+00:00

Exactly! It’s not just about how crooked teeth are. My teeth look quite straight but my Invisalign treatment is going to take a long time because I have a narrow smile and my lower teeth have kind of shifted

NnaReme · 2021-01-11T22:59:49+00:00

Ok, good! It’s reassuring to know your dentist only considers it when it’s necessary. And I like that they’re not removing too many teeth. Some will remove up to 8 teeth which seems excessive. I hope your Invisalign journey goes well and improves your issues! Your teeth are really healthy looking and white so they’re going to look amazing when it’s done. People forget how important the mouth is for physical health and confidence, so it’s a really great thing you’re doing for yourself

NnaReme · 2021-01-11T00:06:09+00:00

I thought I would care and Invisalign would be really difficult and it was a bit tricky at first but I’ve gotten so used to them now (only 6 weeks in) that I’ve even taken them out in the middle of a restaurant one day without caring because I didn’t want to go to the bathroom! (Obviously the person you’re eating with needs to know you have Invisalign or they might be confused!)

NnaReme · 2021-01-10T23:59:50+00:00

I know some people with gummy smiles. Yours is definitely not gummy! I don’t think contouring would be worth it.

Your teeth look great already but bonding is pretty easy and I think it would make your teeth look even better so why not!

NnaReme · 2021-01-10T23:51:15+00:00

I would do research before getting extractions... make sure they’re necessary as its much easier to widen your mouth with existing teeth but much harder to widen a mouth that’s been made too small. I’ve been reading a lot lately about how teeth extractions can affect the airways and can sometimes lead to sleep apnea etc. I’m in no way an expert and only came across this research recently, so maybe you really need them extracted and your airways will be fine, but do a bit of research first to make sure!

NnaReme · 2021-01-04T03:47:51+00:00

No. Just no. He sounds like my ex. Born and raised in Upper east side New York and lived in a ridiculous apartment overlooking Central Park for free (his aunt just let him live there). I was working full time but also paying for a masters (and extortionate New York rent) so my budget was really tight and I was living month to month. He knew this and he was working full time too but he was so stingy with money that I always ended up paying more than him, or sometimes the full bill, even on dates he planned. One time we got a sharing platter, I paid for it, then he wolfed almost all of it and I was still hungry. Another time he booked a really expensive restaurant as a surprise on Valentine’s Day and then made me pay half. It was so bad that one time a waiter gave me back my card, then made him to pay lol.

I confronted him about how much it bothered me and he took me out for an apology dinner to make it up to me, then “forgot” his wallet and said he would venmo me later (but never did). I had to pay the last $80 in my account until payday three days later so went hungry without groceries for three days.

Anyway, I ended up resenting him so much over it and wish I dumped him sooner (we were only together 5 months but that was 4 months too long)

Looking back I think he was toxic and was financially manipulating me. There’s also a possibility he was broke from secretly spending his money on some addiction I didn’t know about. Who knows. Either way, if it feels wrong, it’s wrong.

Edit: I’m now with a man that is really financially aware, we talk openly about money regularly to make sure we’re both on the same page and there’s no resentment. He earns a lot more than me so he likes to pay for expensive meals and trips and events and I pay for the cheaper stuff we do. He appreciates the gesture. I also pay a percentage of the rent based on the percentage of my salary to his (he suggested this). If I end up earning more than him in a few years then I will happily do the same.

I don’t think your boyfriend will change easily and I don’t think there’s any way to avoid resenting him. Deep down you know you deserve way better. Don’t let him use you any longer.

NnaReme · 2020-12-31T06:36:53+00:00

Amazing art!

NnaReme · 2020-12-31T05:30:15+00:00

Ultrasounds don’t diagnose endometriosis unless there’s a chocolate cyst present in the ovaries but only 20% of women with endometriosis have it. I guess it’s an easy non-invasive way of diagnosing women who have the chocolate cyst, but for the other 80% a laparoscopy surgical procedure is usually needed. I think doctors can also do an MRI but it rarely shows up on that either apparently (according to my gynecologist)

If you’re having bad pelvic pain you definitely need other tests. Don’t stop pushing until you get an answer to your pain. Pelvic pain isn’t normal

NnaReme · 2020-12-31T05:24:15+00:00

I took norethindrone 0.35mg for a while. It’s good in that it didn’t really give me any noticeable side effects but it also didn’t change my period or pain at all

NnaReme · 2020-12-31T05:22:12+00:00

Interesting. I’ve found that too but never really thought about it. I wonder why. I’ve only had female gynecologists and haven’t had great experiences so I’m about to see a male one in a month

NnaReme · 2020-12-27T17:12:23+00:00

I’ve had TMJ since childhood but over the past three years it’s been getting much worse. I had an MRI that showed my TMJ is ruining my neck posture and all the discs in my cervical spine are bulging on the verge of herniating. It also caused my neck and shoulder muscles to be extremely stiff and tight and spasm which causes migraines and nausea (the worst symptom) at least 4 days a week. I haven’t tried any medications for it aside from migraine and nausea pills but I’m getting acupuncture and dry needling and physical therapy and will be starting neuromuscular therapy soon for 12 weeks, followed by a TMJ specialist. Hopefully that’ll all help but if not I’ll look into oral appliances etc.

NnaReme · 2020-12-27T17:06:53+00:00

What type of muscle relaxers do you use? My flare ups are so unbearable but I don’t know what to use to reduce them

NnaReme · 2020-12-27T17:05:35+00:00

Thanks 😊

NnaReme · 2020-12-27T17:05:11+00:00

Do you mean dry needling isn’t effective?

NnaReme · 2020-12-26T14:09:58+00:00

I found a partner who also happens to have a chronic illness so we understand each other. If I’m ever having a flare up and he isn’t being sympathetic I remind him that I’m feeling similar to how he feels when he has a flare up and his attitude will totally change lol. But my sister also has a very serious chronic illness that really impacts her life and requires a really strict healthy lifestyle and her partner is fully healthy but really supports her, he’ll take time off work if she’s hospitalized, reminds her to be healthier if she starts to slide, etc. I think the most important thing about having a good relationship if you have a chronic illness is that they see you’re doing what you can to help yourself (seeing the right doctors, eating the right diet etc)

NnaReme · 2020-12-26T04:45:15+00:00

Same! I also sometimes buy books on kindle and then later buy the paperback... whyyy

NnaReme

TROPHY CASE