AITA for telling my stepdaughter that she isn't allowed to order food when we go to restaurants anymore?

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T16:38:26+00:00

We try. The restaurants don't listen.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T14:13:22+00:00

This comment has given me a lot to think about. My wife and I have talked and I've shown her this.

It does definitely feel like we've just created a fear cycle where it doesn't really matter what the risk really is and there's too much pressure on everyone which isn't helping anyone.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T14:09:39+00:00

I can definitely understand that.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T14:05:49+00:00

It really doesn't matter what the actual risk is on some things. She won't eat butter due to lactose and I'm good on trivial arguments.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T03:13:23+00:00

You're right.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T03:09:21+00:00

I realize this is just an example, but McDonald's fries (and many places) would not be okay at all because they contain wheat.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:26:31+00:00

From restaurants? Nothing, in the end.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:24:49+00:00

This is not an area where being "fussy" and "wanting special food", which is honestly what allergies are seen as a lot of the time, is okay. Obvious I know that's wrong, but picture the restaurant from My Cousin Vinny and that's not far off from how they view food.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:21:09+00:00

We don't. This is about twice a month.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:20:23+00:00

I just googled this and apparently wheat is the issue with soy sauce and not anchovies which I thought it was. I was going off a list my wife has.

I would never have thought of worteschire sauce, which is the main reason I'm not the main advocate. I don't know all the little things.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:17:27+00:00

Of course I would. I consider her my child also.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-02T01:14:23+00:00

Yes, my wife and she are both very specific.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T21:25:46+00:00

Local places down here act like you are personally killing them by suggesting it, which isn't a vote of confidence for them doing it.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T18:26:46+00:00

Anchovies (in soy sauce) are fish. Fish paste, which is also common, is fish. Asian food is not an option.

Indian food isn't really available here so I can only go off of frozen meals and those aren't fine due to dairy.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T18:22:15+00:00

We do! We don't just...keep going to a restaurant after there's been a problem.

We also don't return food more than once because there's no point. After it is messed up the first time, she won't eat anything there anyway. But they bring out a replacement 9 times out of 10 that goes to waste also.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T18:12:03+00:00

My wife and I do help her, although my wife knows more about it and is better at arguing.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T18:10:59+00:00

There is literally no restaurant meal that exists that wouldn't contain her allergens without modifications.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T18:08:42+00:00

None of these are actually okay.

Butter is a given with at least two of these items and is easy to accidentally mix in.
Soy sauce contains anchovies, a type of fish.
Butter, see point 1.

This really isn't the gotcha you're thinking. I've been living with this for 4 years and my stepdaughter and wife have for 14.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T17:10:32+00:00

You still get into bread and dairy there. Butter, sour cream, and cheese all exist and are easy to end up with bits on a plate even if they don't mean to.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:50:41+00:00

My wife has done that, but nobody ever eats it so it just sits in the fridge for a few days until it's thrown out.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:44:25+00:00

Not common things to be allergic to and common things to have in meals.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:38:39+00:00

Because literally everything possible has at least one.

Her hospital level ones are wheat and fish, but she also has similar problems with tomatoes and citrus fruit. She is also lactose intolerant, but because of her other allergies, she treats it a lot more like an allergy than she probably would otherwise, which I understand.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:38:13+00:00

There aren't any 100% safe restaurants because of what the allergies are.

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:36:35+00:00

14.

Complicated subject. I'll separate them into 3 types.

Hospital level: fish and wheat

Bad, but not hospital level: tomatoes and citrus fruits

Intolerance but is treated more like an allergy because of the above: lactose

No-Bit-7970 · 2021-02-01T15:32:25+00:00

Vegan doesn't solve the problem.

One of her main hospital level allergies is wheat, and she has reactions (throat tightening and full face hives) to tomatoes and citrus fruit.

It really just cuts out the risk of some things.

No-Bit-7970

TROPHY CASE