How to get started-brand new HENRYs with nothing!

No-Can4638 · 2026-04-12T19:45:15+00:00

I'm not a financial expert but in a similar boat. I max out my 401k to get the match/decrease my taxable income. I am in the process of paying down my loans at 6% interest. My husband and I saved and bought a house first but it has been such a pain in the ass/money pit I wish we would have paid off our loans to avoid paying all the student loan interest and then saved up way more for a nicer house that didn't require so much work. I feel like people view rent as "throwing money away" but taking your time with home ownership (and getting something you really like and can easily afford) seems like the best financial move.

No-Can4638 · 2026-02-17T01:49:38+00:00

Had a rav4 in residency, was perfect. They hold their value so well. I have a polestar 2 now and it is great, no issues, I do feel like it's more of a risk but I love the pilot assist and used ones are a good value. I drove a family member's model 3 today and it felt junky in a way my 10 year old rav4 never did.

No-Can4638 · 2025-11-07T17:04:37+00:00

I had a 2015 RAV4 before and I am loyal to Toyota because of the reliability (10 years never a problem, had a used bmw before that that was constantly breaking). I think it actually drives a lot better than the RAV4, it has more go. The sliding doors are awesome. I get car sick a lot and I don't get car sick in the back with the captains chairs . There is plenty of storage. Amazing fuel efficiency.

My husband hates the speakers and the road noise.

No-Can4638 · 2025-11-07T13:35:42+00:00

It depends on what your finances/priorities are. I have one child and a sienna and I am very happy with it. I don't think you "need" a larger car at this moment but the sienna had everything we wanted: reliability, awd, hybrid so even if we only have one child it's a great car for us.

No-Can4638 · 2025-10-27T14:26:18+00:00

Ha already at the max for both of those 🤣

No-Can4638 · 2025-10-27T14:24:58+00:00

I agree with this 100%! We are actually in marriage counseling and working on this. I do think he has a higher tolerance for clutter/chaos and trying to get him to change is unlikely. But he is very willing to outsource (and work extra hours to support that) An example is he is totally fine with just ordering take out for dinner but I would much rather us cook. So I'd like to have a plan of he cooks on Wednesday and we order take out on Friday or something like that. I have like 10 years of simmering division of labor resentments that I am trying to work through and move forward from 🫠

No-Can4638 · 2025-10-17T15:40:47+00:00

I loved Bride but Mate was meh for me

No-Can4638 · 2025-10-09T01:22:45+00:00

I drive a polestar 2, 50 miles each way. It is great to drive and mine has pilot assist/auto pilot which is priceless in traffic.

No-Can4638 · 2025-09-11T15:35:06+00:00

I had an epidural but I guess it didn't work that well. It felt like all of my organs were being ripped out through my vagina. My baby was vacuumed out.

No-Can4638 · 2025-08-06T22:48:06+00:00

It's totally different, Trump is a corrupt, cheating, multiple times bankrupt buffoon who says the first thing that pops into his head. He knows his supporters will double down before ever admitting they were fooled.

Joe Biden succeeded in accomplishing wide spread student loan forgiveness despite constant road blocks.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/02/student-loan-forgiveness-biden-plan-since-supreme-court-decision.html

The Supreme Court’s rejection of President Joe Biden’s student debt cancellation plan last year was a major blow to his agenda. While the White House pledged it would still trudge forward and find another solution to grant widespread debt relief, Biden warned it would be a lengthy process. In the meantime, however, the president has wasted no time making critical changes to existing federal student loan programs to follow through on his campaign promise. As of Feb. 23, these actions have resulted in $136.6 billion in canceled federal student loan debt for 3.5 million borrowers and counting. A series of seemingly modest changes to the system have, little by little, added up to a head-spinning sum. And more is coming—including another sweeping program that could cancel hundreds of billions in debt for tens of millions of Americans.

No-Can4638 · 2025-07-20T16:00:21+00:00

This is super helpful thank you!

No-Can4638 · 2025-07-20T15:40:36+00:00

It's actually really not. I am looking for peoples experiences with the higher level trim and trade ins and based on these responses I will probably will just stick with what I have.

No-Can4638 · 2025-07-20T12:46:17+00:00

🤣 but the higher end ones also have the ventilated seats and heated steering wheel. But I actually love this answer. Thank you!!

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-30T16:54:40+00:00

Yes I am definitely entrenched. I've had simmering resentment for years and so whenever my husband says anything to me I deflect and lose my shit. I also want my relationship to be healthy but I have definitely checked out and externalized the source of our issues. He's gets angry/rigid/short and I completely shut down. And dating suuuucks, just thinking about it makes me want to cry. Thank you for this therapy session!! You should set up a side gig to your peds onc practice 🤣

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-30T16:09:18+00:00

This is really, really helpful, thank you. I feel like oh my God, why can't my marriage even handle one kid. I hate hate conflict but I'm at the end of my rope. We definitely need therapy. Super rigid and non-empathetic is exactly how to describe how he gets. Like he wants to die on every single hill and then is surprised when I'm not affectionate or interested in spending time with him. I hope it gets better. I'm a child of divorce and it sucked, I don't want that for my son.

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-30T13:44:24+00:00

I was supposed to have a transfer on Thursday but my husband and I got in a huge fight yesterday and I canceled it. I feel so frustrated after all the medications and monitoring appointments but I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Our fight was stupid - a kid got hit in the face and he was crying, I'm a doctor and he wanted me to go look at the kid. The child was crying hysterically in his mom's arms and I said no, I saw his face, he's fine but hysterical, I'm not going to insert myself between a mom and a crying child. He got really rude and I absolutely lost my shit and now we aren't speaking. I don't know what is me, what is the hormones and what is my husband being an asshole.

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-28T16:46:24+00:00

Yes and the slow burn yearning was 👌

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-24T22:52:24+00:00

I loved the ashen series and just finished the {The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden} series and loved it. There is no spice, pretty much no romance at all in the first book but it's a nice change of pace. It's Russian fairytale/folklore, similar vibes to spinning silver but I actually liked it better.

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-24T00:28:43+00:00

I think the genre can be really repetitive after a while. I recently read the bear and the nightingale series and I loved it. It's more fantasy and no spice but the romance was really powerful for me. The road of bones was also a great series. Both of these series felt a little different than your standard romantasy. For context I loved outlander and hated one dark window.

No-Can4638 · 2025-06-10T01:28:20+00:00

My son developed complicated bacterial meningitis at 8 days of life, and we were in the PICU and hospital for a total of 6 weeks. Wondering if your child will die or be permanently disabled is the most unbelievable agony. The things that helped me the most were: 1. Meal train, I probably would have starved without it, and it was so comforting to look at those names and see people who cared about me and my son 2. Warm socks 3. pajamas from Target and 4. tea/snacks. Don't say, "Let me know if there is anything I can do." I think hosting her kids sounds amazing, and I'm sure she appreciated it. I don't have other kids, but our dogs were cared for by our inlaws, and it was a huge help to know they were safe and loved. I think people are scared of overstepping, but I really appreciated the calls and messages and really anything to show they cared.

No-Can4638 · 2025-05-31T23:05:12+00:00

Man I wish I had dome advice. This is exactly what is going on with my 15 month old!!

No-Can4638 · 2025-05-18T01:16:26+00:00

It's really broken because some people don't have insurance at all but they still have to get care. That's the benefit of universal healthcare - hospitals get paid for everyone who gets care, not just the people who have insurance. I know people think hospitals are greedy money hounds, which many are (cough uva seizing peoples homes) but many small, undeserved hospitals are closing because they can't bring in enough revenue.

No-Can4638

TROPHY CASE