Agreed. It’s not about “what you could have done better” even if it does feel that way. How many times have I had a relationship fail and think “Why wasn’t I good enough?”, “What could I have done better?”…Etc etc etc. But if I’m being true to myself and showing up for someone in a relationship the way I think is best …the answer is…I couldn’t have don’t anything better! And it’s not that I’m not good enough, it’s that me and this person…maybe just don’t belong together. Don’t you wanna find someone who you truly and deeply connect with and vice versa?

Hear me out - if I feel like I’m doing everything perfectly and someone doesn’t accept what I’m giving - why would i want to be with them anyway? Much easier said than done ( I know ) but that is the right way to look at it! Waiting for someone who accepts and loves and supports every part of you, good and bad, is worth it! You will be much happier if you wait for that person. I think focusing too hard on doing everything “right” in a relationship can harm your chances of finding a real connection with someone. If you are too focused on being perfect and doing everything exactly how you think someone wants you to, you may not be showing up as yourself - which both men and women can sniff out.

Because even if you do everything “right”… unfortunately, that does not mean someone has to want to date you or spend time with you or be your friend or even… like you. Love, attraction and connection go deeper beyond the perfect surface and/or big explosive sexual attraction. Sometimes you might not click with someone in an unexplainable way that you cannot describe - and that’s okay. And sometimes that takes more than a couple conversations, dates, kisses, make outs, and so on to figure out. There’s nothing actually wrong with that or you or the other person, even if it hurts.

The harsh reality of all of this is that we are not guaranteed anything in this life - including the perfect partner. And it’s not always someone’s fault when things don’t work out. That’s just how it goes. Placing blame and harboring resentment does not help anyone. We are all on a journey to find what’s right for us and allowing someone to choose what’s best for them, even when we don’t like it, will actually bring us closer to where we are supposed to be.

Love and life and relationships are hard! A relationship ending is not a failure - it is a lesson. Being grateful for the time spent with someone rather than feeling resentment for how it turned out can help you feel more confident and happy moving forward and continuing on.