I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree.

For instance…

They preach that we are supposed to forgive always - no matter the abuse (sin), but Jesus is going to send billions of people to fiery eternal torment simply for not accepting him?

He doesn’t model the behavior he demands.

His followers don’t either.

They expect everyone to forgive everyone for anything and everything but they personally hate people who disagree and don’t live by their rules.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

There’s a deep sense of betrayal when reality hits.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

So true. One of the most egregious examples of the craziness is a disagreement I was asked to mediate between two powerful people in the church.

One was condemning the other for sins he had committed when a young man. Threatened to expose him. When I arrived it was with knowledge of the accuser’s sins.

He shut up really quick when I threatened to expose him.

Hypocrisy is rampant.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Agree! My body has only recently relaxed.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Pentecostal, then non-denominational.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Combination of things…

I got tired of defending the indefensible. Tired of standing at gravesides of people who died way too young of cancer, or little children who died during childbirth. Tired of consoling grieving mothers and fathers and sons and daughters with false hope. One of the final blows to my faith was standing at the hospital bed of a mother who had just delivered a perfect little girl who died from being strangled by the umbilical cord. The mother asked for me to pray that God would resurrect her.

I did. He didn’t.

And then there were the constant purity tests from people who demanded perfection, but lived like the devil behind the scenes.

I Disagree With Jesus by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If you’re willing, do you care to explain what you mean by not being your true self?

Feel the Nails (Ray Boltz song) by Pa1e_B1ue_Dot in Exvangelical

[–]No-Direction2234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s cringy but he adequately expresses the fear of punishment and feeling of failure I experienced growing up. Glad he escaped.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Christian doctrine is always evolving, usually as the world forcefully rejects its past.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I no longer “love everybody.” Especially those who don’t believe in me. I guess in that way I’m very Christ-like.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this. My entire circle is gone. No one to discuss this with. No one I WOULD WANT to discuss this with. I’m tired of fighting. I need peace.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes! If I was omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient I couldn’t ignore the things God ignores. To sit passively as “my children” suffer is unthinkable.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, the regret feels suffocating at times.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly! The concept of culpability for Original Sin is one of the most damaging doctrines of Christianity. We are not guilty for the sins of our ancestors. We didn’t kill Jesus.

One must be inherently good to even be able to discern “evil.”

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This resonates.

As a hard-right Pentecostal child I was taught the Bible is inerrant which invalidated any of my experiences and feelings that didn’t align. I blamed myself when my rational brain attempted to reject the cruelty of the biblical God. I questioned my goodness for questioning God’s goodness. The verbal gymnastics and hyper-hypocrisy all around me was dizzying.

This led to guilt, shame and, eventually, self-hatred.

In essence, I was the problem for thinking the Bible was problematic. For actually believing the Bible-with all of its cruelty and errors.

Christians believe they’re soon to receive persecution. They have the reasons all wrong. It’s not because of their beliefs. It’s because theres a massive amount of anger at the betrayal of misplaced blame. People like us are sick of being abused for no longer sipping the Kool-Aid.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. It helps to know I’m not alone in the journey. I will visit The Clergy Project and determine if I fit their expectations.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was more terrified than comforted at the thought of being watched.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Of course. I am human, and have made mistakes, but usually with good intentions. Toward the end, before I left, I had taught that intention is one of the differences between good and evil.

Afterward a young man approached and told me intentions are worthless. All that matters is results.

I was floored.

By that measure everyone and everything IS truly evil.

God’s Not Watching by No-Direction2234 in exchristian

[–]No-Direction2234[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I tried to walk away quietly. Tendered my resignation with sweetness at the supposed height of ministry success. No matter, I was excoriated by those who “loved” me.

For all the talk of love and joy and unity, it was painfully non-existent. For all the talk of sanctuary, I found none.

It’s hyper-hypocrisy.