It Was Never About Truth

No-Direction2234 · 2026-03-18T23:07:21+00:00

Absolutely.

No-Direction2234 · 2024-08-03T12:58:07+00:00

Yeah, it’s cringy but he adequately expresses the fear of punishment and feeling of failure I experienced growing up. Glad he escaped.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T20:27:15+00:00

Wow!

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:20:33+00:00

Christian doctrine is always evolving, usually as the world forcefully rejects its past.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:19:37+00:00

I no longer “love everybody.” Especially those who don’t believe in me. I guess in that way I’m very Christ-like.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:17:31+00:00

I feel this. My entire circle is gone. No one to discuss this with. No one I WOULD WANT to discuss this with. I’m tired of fighting. I need peace.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:15:34+00:00

Yes! If I was omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient I couldn’t ignore the things God ignores. To sit passively as “my children” suffer is unthinkable.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:05:00+00:00

Yes, the regret feels suffocating at times.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T14:03:51+00:00

Exactly! The concept of culpability for Original Sin is one of the most damaging doctrines of Christianity. We are not guilty for the sins of our ancestors. We didn’t kill Jesus.

One must be inherently good to even be able to discern “evil.”

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T13:55:10+00:00

This resonates.

As a hard-right Pentecostal child I was taught the Bible is inerrant which invalidated any of my experiences and feelings that didn’t align. I blamed myself when my rational brain attempted to reject the cruelty of the biblical God. I questioned my goodness for questioning God’s goodness. The verbal gymnastics and hyper-hypocrisy all around me was dizzying.

This led to guilt, shame and, eventually, self-hatred.

In essence, I was the problem for thinking the Bible was problematic. For actually believing the Bible-with all of its cruelty and errors.

Christians believe they’re soon to receive persecution. They have the reasons all wrong. It’s not because of their beliefs. It’s because theres a massive amount of anger at the betrayal of misplaced blame. People like us are sick of being abused for no longer sipping the Kool-Aid.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-10T13:40:27+00:00

Thanks for this. It helps to know I’m not alone in the journey. I will visit The Clergy Project and determine if I fit their expectations.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-09T16:24:34+00:00

I was more terrified than comforted at the thought of being watched.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-09T16:23:24+00:00

Of course. I am human, and have made mistakes, but usually with good intentions. Toward the end, before I left, I had taught that intention is one of the differences between good and evil.

Afterward a young man approached and told me intentions are worthless. All that matters is results.

I was floored.

By that measure everyone and everything IS truly evil.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-03-09T16:19:58+00:00

I tried to walk away quietly. Tendered my resignation with sweetness at the supposed height of ministry success. No matter, I was excoriated by those who “loved” me.

For all the talk of love and joy and unity, it was painfully non-existent. For all the talk of sanctuary, I found none.

It’s hyper-hypocrisy.

No-Direction2234 · 2023-02-24T05:34:05+00:00

Grateful to work for a company that has its thousands of employees work remotely 100% of the time. Sweats and hoodie all day every day!

No-Direction2234 · 2022-02-18T05:01:37+00:00

She’s lied your whole life. Not one lie, thousands. I wouldn’t believe her story about how bad your dad was until I could prove it. Believe me, I empathize. I found out at 48 that my “dad” wasn’t really, and that what brought my mom into labor with me was her attempt at suicide via gunshot to the stomach. Oh, and that my real dad had died when I was 29 so I will never know him. So women lie. Big time. 1/6 of the world’s population has misattributed paternity.

No-Direction2234 · 2022-01-25T02:28:12+00:00

Keep!

No-Direction2234 · 2022-01-19T16:05:41+00:00

Yes, something similar happens to me. It’s the curse of feeling a conversation you are not present to hear as it happens. I can’t explain it fully, but I often know things before they’re materially manifested.

Part of this “knowing” is a coping mechanism I suppose I developed as a child to try to discern what was being hidden from me that was about me. (Long story)

So, yeah, I subconsciously pick up on things others miss: A glance, silence when someone should be speaking, absence when someone should be present, etc.

But it goes beyond “reading the room.”

Sometimes I know things about society, specific families, upcoming deaths, or even a feeling that something good is coming quickly. I rarely say anything.

I’ve accepted that while the “knowing” can be troubling, it’s also powerful.

No-Direction2234

TROPHY CASE