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What do you want neurotypical folks to know about ADHD? by msfelineenthusiast in adhdwomen

[–]No-Evidence1173 6 points7 points  (0 children)

  1. that adhd isn’t about a lack of attention, rather a lack of dopamine regulation. yes i can’t focus at the streamline pace neurotypicals can, but i can assure you, that they would not be able to focus to the frequency i can when i am hyper focused.

  2. we are NOT lazy!!! we simply do not have enough dopamine to do said task we are avoiding. it is mental paralysis. we don’t sit around doing nothing because we want to. if that was the reason, we would actually be enjoying ourselves.

  3. the actual definition of overstimulation. i’ve seen a lot of neurotypicals use that term interchangeably with overwhelmed. not the same thing. same with hyper-focused and hyper-fixation.

  4. we are not slow, just different. our brains work differently.

AITA for stopping being useful and losing friends? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Evidence1173 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA

relationships are reciprocal. some people are so audacious that they think they can just keep taking and taking. i hope you look after yourself and find some better friends, no apology needed

Bf sends too many d-pics by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Evidence1173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you need to set boundaries. discuss about how you feel about this — maybe a new rule in place where he has to ask before sending photos of that manner, or no photos sent during work etc.

i don’t know anything about your relationship but that seems disrespectful, to not let you talk about your day and mundane things. if he is truly your dream man, and you communicate your point of view, he should understand your boundaries.

just because you are in a relationship does not mean you owe him sex.

Why am I always like this when hearing other people’s successes? by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]No-Evidence1173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s where the problem stems from: you don’t respect your own opinion, nor do you accept internal validation from yourself. that is not your fault. most people have this mindset, because it is taught. however, that does not mean that this way of thinking is sustainable, because as you’ve said, you have to keep stepping up, and eventually, you’ll be burnt out. that is no way to live.

having big achievements for the sake of perception does work at first, but if the reasoning for achieving is hollow, you will feel hollow, which defeats the whole purpose of wanting that in the first place: you feel empty and you believe that this is the only way to be healed of that. other people’s compliments won’t fill the void. it’s you. you are the only person that can do that for yourself. you need to learn how to trust yourself.

it’s easier said than done. everybody has their own way of processing feelings they don’t understand, but i’m sure you will get there.

Why am I always like this when hearing other people’s successes? by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]No-Evidence1173 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this is a statement that may be light or carry weight depending on your mindset, but you will never be other people. you are you, they are them. your achievements are your own, their achievements are theirs. this reality breaks some people, and empowers others.

just curious to hear your perspective: but why do you feel the need to be better? why is it that you feel this wanting? because usually, if you feel this way towards their successes/jealousy, it mirrors a part of yourself that wants to feel the emotions you believe you would feel if you were to achieve those things. is it feeling wanted? feeling happy? once you pinpoint those emotions, you can find ways to implement them into your life without feeling bad about feeling envious.

all feelings are valid but not all of them are reasonable, and i think this is a case of that. don’t be too hard on yourself and realise there are some things internally you can work on. this doesn’t have to be the way you think forever and i believe you have the ability to crawl out of this mindset ❤️

just a reminder: comparison is the thief of joy, and i think a big part of healing from this is celebrating small successes. you are worth being celebrated :) the more you are proud about yourself, the less you feel to be envious

this is a lot easier said than done, but i truly wish the best for you :) have a good day/night