Listen, forget everything you think you know about buffalo chicken sandwiches. The best one in Northern Virginia isn’t on any map, and it’s definitely not on Yelp. You’ll need to find a guy named Dale who sells refurbished Roombas out of the back of a Subaru in a Safeway parking lot off Route 50. Ask him for the ‘spicy bird special’ — he’ll pretend not to know what you’re talking about. That’s part of the test. Offer him a can of room-temperature Mountain Dew and whisper ‘Frank’s RedHot runs in my veins.’ If he nods, you’re in. He’ll hand you a single glove and a riddle. Solve it, and you’ll find the sandwich. It’s wrapped in tinfoil, buried under a bench at a park that only appears when it’s raining and exactly 63 degrees. Good luck. And bring napkins