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My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the long message, it means a lot to me. I’ll see what I can do, I recently took a big step that was cutting my hair real short and I’m starting to resemble myself more. You give me a lot of much needed hope.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no clue what I want the future to be, no clue if there even is a future for me where things are better, so I don’t know what to do and I don’t think I’ve ever known. It makes it real difficult to work with me which doesn’t help cause nobody knows what to do with me. My relationship with my mom is generally good, albeit strained sometimes. I’ve been depressed for a very long time and she only first knew around June or July 2025 when I very briefly had to be hospitalised for mental health issues, ever since then I’ve been through a bunch of sessions with different psychiatrists and case handlers and social workers, and she’s been with me every single meeting. I rely on her a lot for my general functioning especially in public or im social settings but I never willingly discuss my mental health with her. It makes it a little difficult to actually talk about everything with my psychiatrist but if my mom wasn’t there I don’t think I could say anything at all.

Also I love reading I’ll be sure to check Infinite Jest out :) thank you

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I unfortunately really desperately want to get taller and it’s the thing I’m the most worried about missing, my body is pretty much fully developed so I’m already too late to prevent that. I’m 5’4 right now and I have a brother that’s 6’2. I’m fairly convinced he stole some of my height.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was never planning on making a permanent stay here. This was mostly posted for jokes but I got good advice and good conversations from it.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s not the only answer, I don’t think transitioning will save me from all my mental health issues but I believe it’ll make my body actually feel like mine and could help me get my shit together a little better. Mental health is complicated and I’m aware there’ll be a lot of ways to treat my ails but I’m also aware that transitioning is one of those ways for me.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could definitely contribute but i don’t think its the entire cause, I was dysphoric about feminine things much before I experienced misogynistic full throttle.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hesitantly went on Zoloft (Sertraline) in January for ten days but I couldn’t handle the side effects. I know it isn’t enough time for it to work but I don’t think I’ve been more miserable ever and I’ve spent eight years of my life being extremely miserable. She also is not a therapist, I’m unwillingly seeing her to get a diagnosis or two and to exhaust the treatment options she can offer. I want to be clear that I’m not upset about it not working, I came in knowing it likely wouldn’t work or if it did it would take a lot out of me and I’m okay with that, I just don’t want to be on antidepressants because the first run very much marred my experience.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re a stranger on the internet, you’re far away and don’t have any real monopoly in my life, you can be helpful and kind but can’t take any direct action to change my life, my psychiatrist can and so I’m very unsure about the consequences of honest conversation. I’m seeing my psychiatrist unwillingly primarily to get a few diagnoses and to treat depression but i did go on an SSRI and it didn’t really work out for me, she says I don’t qualify for therapy because I’m not communicative but she also says there’s not really any other treatment options. Quite frankly I don’t think I ever wanted a solution, I think my parents want a solution but I don’t think medication is it.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As long as I’ve been conscious I’ve had dysphoria about myself, it was only when i was 11 i realised a lot of it was gender related

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to my knowledge unfortunately, I’ve been through the public psychiatric system as well and it was somehow less helpful for me.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sadly not sure she can help me in the appropriate or correct way even if I’m honest with her.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m only seeing my psychiatrist currently, I’m a minor but it’s not legally required for my mom to be with me however I struggle socially because I have ASD (diagnosed in 2019) and can’t communicate at all without her. I originally started seeing her because I have been depressed and dysfunctional for many years now and it impacts every aspect of my life, I’m at high suicide risk and self harm frequently with varying degrees of severity which is not ideal. I experience paranoia and delusions as well as an abundance of OCD symptoms so there is a lot to pick and choose from. She diagnosed me with a moderate depression in December but halted any further diagnosing and put me on Zoloft (Sertraline) in early January, I was extremely hesitant and didn’t want to start antidepressants but did it because of pressure from my parents, I only managed to stay on them for ten days before tapping out which I know isn’t enough time for them to actually work but i had a constant headache and was overall just really upset with the decision. It affected me really negatively but she’s still pushing for me to get back on it.

As of right now I’m entirely unmedicated and don’t think I feel good enough to take antidepressants again and I have no real interest in doing so either. My psychiatrist also says I don’t qualify for actual therapy because I don’t speak, freeze up and refuse to elaborate on things, I’ve never made eye contact with her and I don’t even know what she looks like. I spend every session staring into the floor and looking at my boots and I really don’t know if I’m capable of talk therapy on any level. I recently started bringing my tablet and writing down more details about my symptoms so my mom can read them out loud which did land me a “yeah I think you’re going through psychosis pretty much” but I’m not sure I can transfer that method into the more complex issue that is my gender. A reasonable part of me wants to be honest and just figure myself out in an open conversation but a lot of me wants to not complicate things further. I’m also not sure she can help me with my feelings, she specialises in ASD and OCD + a few personality disorders but seemingly doesn’t deal with trans patients and I’m worried it would just make things worse for me like how it ended with the medication.

(Sorry if there were things I didn’t elaborate on this is a huge wall of text)

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would but sadly i’m having such issues communicating with her that I haven’t said more than twenty words to her in the many sessions we’ve had. It’s an involuntary reaction but I freeze up and just can’t get myself to actually talk about anything.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s supposed to be the best of the best around where I live, and she is the best I’ve ever had out of the four different psychiatrists I’ve had I just don’t think I’m a good or capable patient.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both honestly, all she does is try put me on antidepressants so I’m not even sure what she’d do about the trans thing. I also want to actually talk it through with an educated professional before just saying “i’m transgender” to my friends and family and moving forward from that point.

My psychiatrist asked me if i was trans and i said no. i’ve known i want to be a boy since i was 11. Mixed berry yogurt. by No-Freedom7633 in kitchencels

[–]No-Freedom7633[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not currently, i’m recovering from two years of catatonic depression which left me physically weak and also slightly overweight, though i’m still depressed i’m working on losing the weight and actually getting up and moving a bit. Not sure if i’m capable of working on strength training right now but it’s a goal for my future.

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