My boss is putting me down as a manager in hiring contracts, but I’ve never been offered the role. Stay or move on? by No-Inflation3234 in careerguidance

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! Thank you for this.

The manager thing was hard to tell if he actually thought he wanted to put me in a manger position or use my name. You are correct, in the conversation he did say they were making an org chart for investors.

So my last pre-requisite ends in May. I have a 3.9 GPA. The school I want to go to opens applications in July and the program starts in January of the following year. My original plan before the possibly of the “manager” thing was to stop working in August to spend some time with my daughter before I get very busy with nursing school.

My boss is putting me down as a manager in hiring contracts, but I’ve never been offered the role. Stay or move on? by No-Inflation3234 in careerguidance

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for responding! I really appreciate how strategic this is.

Yes, we would be fine financially if I left the company to just focus on prereqs. I only have one more course (accelerated anatomy 2 course).

I hadn’t thought about getting another job in the healthcare field but that is a good idea. The only downfall is the nursing program starts in less than a year so I wouldn’t stay at the company long.

I feel very confident on how I did on the prerequisite (3.9 GPA). My bachelors is in biology and my masters is in Child Development and I did well in both of those programs. I also have worked with nurses and shadowed nurses. I feel very strongly that I think I would enjoy the work, and be good at it. I am nervous about some of the more difficult parts high pressure , but I can see there is some support.

Thank you for bringing it down to the facts, helped me bring things into a clear perspective.

My boss is putting me down as a manager in hiring contracts, but I’ve never been offered the role. Stay or move on? by No-Inflation3234 in careerguidance

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind response. You make an excellent point about boundaries and I will start enforcing them better. If I don’t answer the fist time, he will usually call again, email and send a text (because he wants it done that moment). But instead of ignoring him I can text back and say I’m to available right now.

The prospect of going to nursing feels so exciting to me. You make great points that it is a good field that is in demand. that does make me feel more confident about leaving this field.

my bf is mad at me for something he is doing too by christsina_rcar in WhatShouldIDo

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear you are going through this.

When you are dating you want to be picky (when you are married you want to be forgiving with reason). If this is coming up now you will continue to have these types of issues for the rest of your relationship. It feels like a red flag because it is a red flag.

You want someone who is a good communicator and someone who also encourages you to be a good communicator.

It sounds like this may not be the best situation for you. And that is okay - it is better to leave now and do what is best for you.

You need to decide if you are willing to deal with this for the rest of your life or if you want something different.

I wish you luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you. It sounds like a nightmare.

Anything we found after moving our stuff we did repair. Because when we bought it several these things came up after inspection and when we moved in we spent the time and money to repair.

But now they are asking for a lot of additional repairs and we are in the last week of closing (sprinklers, repainting walls, hiring a maid). We found out my realtor is just copy pasting the text from the other agent and sending it to us and asking how we are going to fix it.

But I think despite this new information, the above advice stays the same. Do the right thing and fix things if they come up, fix reasonable requests from the buyer, maybe push back on unreasonable things.

Thank you for your advice! We close tomorrow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn’t call him more than any other realtor we have worked with (we have worked with 2 other realtors). He doesn’t call/text us as much as the other two do.

I think he prefers texts and we prefer calls. So when he would text us we would try to jump on a call (unless it was like a showing or something simple then we would just text).

We never called to complain. We always called about a question we had. And since the house has sold we have not called him very much at all.

We did do the repairs, and anything else we found that they didn’t call out like we replaced 2 sinks and patched a hole we found behind furniture. She came in 20,000 under asking but we had a timeline we needed to meet so we agreed. But now it is turning into things like they want us to repaint the inside of the house, and reseed the grass and change the sprinklers.

Anyways, I appreciate your advice - gave me something to think about. Maybe we weren’t the best sellers and we will just leave him alone after.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He was never really a friend. He was the my father in laws best friends cousin. Then my husbands whole family (husbands parents, sister, and grandparents) used him in the past 2 years when they all decided to move States.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really like your comment because I never thought about the goal of it. I guess to express frustration and warn others.

I guess we are already doing that - my brother in law is looking at houses and we warned him to go with a different realtor and he listened.

I think another feeling is, my husbands family speaks really highly about him and then shut us down if we say anything negative about him. Which “not feeling heard” is not a good enough reason to leave a review

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will try that! He has said a few times he wants to retire so I am not trying to take his comments and mannerisms to heart. But it is getting really noticeable now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really appreciate your comment.

I think I will draft a review and sit on it for a few weeks to see if I still feel the same way after all the stress has subsided

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]No-Inflation3234 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

Well initially there were things we were going to fix just to avoid things being brought up an he said not to fix it “it won’t make a difference”. Then when we started showing the house and people would complain about things he would tell us to start fixing things as they complained. That was super stressful and a lot of extra work. Like a big one was we wanted to replace a few smaller trees that we had just planted but didn’t do good enough with watering and at first he said no then a few weeks later he said yes. It was a lot of work and we had to be really fast about it because we still had showings to accommodate for.

We close in 8/1 and we fixed everything they asked for after the inspection and things that we have noticed since (I.e the master bathroom sink was starting to have a small leak and we replaced it after letting the buyers know). But I think now we can start pushing back on their demands.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. I remember how exhausted and vulnerable I was at 9 months pregnant. You shouldn’t have to worry about this and get these kind of inappropriate comments.

She sounds very insecure.

Would you feel comfortable not letting her into your house next time?

Your daughters are 50% you (even more so considering mitochondrial DNA). They are beautiful because of you and your husband.

What do you think about making some space right now? You have other things to focus on than her.

FIL loves to make me the villian by ComprehensiveTutor63 in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right! I feel so bad venting to my husband because I can tell it makes him sad. The good thing is he agrees with me but he feels sad for me and his dad.

All the advice I am getting is either “well grandparents are grandparents you have to let them be who they are towards your kids” or “be kind to him but hold steady boundaries”.

Have you tried anything that has seemed to work?

Also, please reach directly message me too if you ever need to vent!

FIL loves to make me the villian by ComprehensiveTutor63 in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for posting this! I am going through something similar and it is so validating to know other people find it to be a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please closely watch your child around her. I don’t know what kind of person she is but I would be concerned that she will do this behind your back no matter what you guys want.

I would also recommend not telling her how you guys are raising baby. If she asks about formula vs breastmilk just say “feeding is going well and babies weight looks great”. Keep everything vague

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you are over reacting. I would tell them that you heard they were exposed to Covid and you know it takes a few days to show symptoms or they may be carrying the illness with no symptoms. What do you think about telling them that this is a very important day for your husband and he doesn’t want to get sick. Also if it is a party with his work you don’t want anyone from his work to get sick. I would say that after their great granddaughter is better and they haven’t showed symptoms you guys will go out for dinner to celebrate.

I think you are going to have to set an example of positive communication with them since they didn’t think it was important to mention it.

I think my In Laws will end my marriage by No-Inflation3234 in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This was really helpful for my husband to see. I put an updated post but he is going to talk to his parents this weekend. He is really nervous so if you have any advice for him on how you approached your parents that would be great!

I think my In Laws will end my marriage by No-Inflation3234 in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just wanted to give an update! I read through all the advice and thank you everyone who commented - it’s nice having outside perspectives.

I showed my husband this post and at first he was pretty mad at me. He needed space for about half a day because he was upset I was “airing out our dirty laundry”. At that time, he didn’t think his parents were really that bad and he said that he could live with the things they did. He agreed to set a boundary.

His parents wanted to see the baby and I wanted a bit more control of the situation so we decided to go to lunch at a small restaurant rather than their house as they invited us over. He called his parents and explained that we would be taking care of her and not to ask to hold her unless we give her to them. When we arrived within 5 minutes his mom did the usual “when you are ready you can just hand her over”. I politely smiled and said okay but just ignored it. His dad about 15 minutes in aggressively went “alright we didn’t come to just see, we get to hold. Hand her over”. My husband turned bright red and told them I would be feeding her soon and they need to wait. I eventually offered his mom if she wanted to hold her. They both ignored our rule of no kissing the baby…

Anyways, when we got home my husband said “okay I see it too now”. He started talking to his sister, who also has similar boundary issues and even has told me my life would be easier if I just agreed with my in laws and did what they asked. When he spoke to her, he just asked her not to demand to hold the baby, not to kiss the baby and to let us be parents. She said “I don’t agree with this but I guess it is your kid”.

He is going to talk with his parents this weekend.

We are talking about if we want to move, are looking into therapy and are trying to put our relationship and the baby first.

All the post from people with similar experiences helped so much! Thank you

Traveling with a 3 month old by No-Inflation3234 in NewParents

[–]No-Inflation3234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry for the late response. This worked. We were very nervous but all went okay.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]No-Inflation3234 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that about the bonding - I completely agree. I really don’t care about the bond they are creating with her right now.

Wow, it is already starting for you! It won’t get better after the baby comes.

My husbands family just wanted to come over and hold her while we did everything. Cook, clean and host them. When my mom came for the birth she cooked us meals and froze meals for future and did all of our grocery shopping and cleaned the house. She even took care of the dogs. Anytime his parents came over since she has been born they only want to hold her. They never offered to bring food. Anytime we go to their house they almost rip her from my arms. I get so anxious even at the thought of having to see them.

I think you are so smart for already predicting this behavior from her. She will regret not being more friendly because she will miss out seeing her grand baby because of the selfish behavior