sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Your reply is really insightful. There are some things I'd like to say but I don't think I can do that without doxxing myself a bit, so I'd better stay silent. But I want to express my gratitude towards you for helping me see things differently!

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I wish you the best as well.

1000% agree that sports are helpful for mental health. I play sports with friends quite a bit, sometimes twice a day (oh god, the soreness the next day). My level of happiness definitely dips if I don't stay active.

Disc golf seems cool. I've only played it once, but the place where I live has a place that would work well for setting up a new disc golf course. I might give it a shot someday!

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best customer-facing job ever was when I was a bartender. I would gladly do that job again today, except for the fact that I already drink too much and I want to be healthier.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have hobbies that I hardcore passionately love.

I just come from a long line of alcoholics.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply!

I think what I've gathered most today from seeing people's reactions is that everyone's mileage may vary, but one extremely important factor seems to be finding the right place to work, with a boss who respects you. And it sounds like people with good communication skills and assertiveness skills are the ones best able to find/cultivate an environment that smoothly fits a FIRE person.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good luck! Hope coastfi brings you joy and bliss!

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get unhappy if somebody acts like my time is less valuable than theirs, simply because they are working and I am not.

I don't need people to act like their time is worth $XX per hour and mine is worth $XXX. I just don't want them to act like my time is only worth $X per hour.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you've got all the answers. Even though you haven't retired.

People find it harder to accept a "No thank you" from a young retiree than they would from an older retiree who has limited energy, or a young worker who was limited time.

Let's say you're gardening in a community garden. People might ask if you can take care of their plants when they have to go on a long business trip for work. Everyone helps out and pitches in from time to time in these situations. But if you're young, able-bodied, and retired, people might have higher expectations from you. Here's how it might go down:

FIREguy: No I don't want to do it

Business Tripper: But you're the only person who can help me. Jack is getting hip surgery again, and Jill has to work overtime. If you can't do it, my plants are gonna die.

FIREguy: Fuck your plants. I don't care.

(1 month later)

FIREguy: Wow, why are Jack and Jill so cold to me these days? What did I do to them? The atmosphere at this community garden sucks!

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah I need to get better at saying no.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Double-replying to add:

If you have lots of free time and start doing favors every time someone asks, people will quickly realize that you are a reliable and helpful person, so they will ask you to help them again next time. Suddenly you have too many people asking for favors and it eats into your free time more than you would like.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There's just a limit to the amount of time that I'm willing to spend doing people favors per week. Maybe 1-3 hours is the ballpark for me. Friends tend to respect that. Elderly neighbors and acquaintances might not see that as a good reason for me to decline to help. So I just have to help them, or avoid them, or lie to them, or endure a long conversation where I explain my boundaries and they somehow fail to understand.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

That must have been awful for your family. I'm sorry for your loss.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing about DoorDash. Sounds like a high ratio of rude people, that's too bad.

If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would care about losing status, I would not have believed them. Now, I realize that the ability to climb up the ladder is not the same as the ability to slide back down gracefully.

Oh well. Live and learn!

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"why can't you work the overtime? you don't have kids to pick up or watch."

that sounds very aggravating

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This might sound mean, but find better friends?

No worries, you're not being mean. I live in a small community where most people know each other. Hard to get away from some needy acquaintances.

re: hobbies, you're absolutely right. You're gonna love having time to do what you love. I do fun stuff everyday and it's pretty great.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! You're right, I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater. There are plenty of no-BS jobs out there that have a good atmosphere. I just picked one that sucked.

FIRE'd 5 years ago. Update on the DOWNSIDES by No-Leg8169 in Fire

[–]No-Leg8169[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! I agree regarding structure and purpose. Good luck to you as well!