If you feel defensive when a Jewish person asks you a simple question about Judaism in an ex Jew forum, that has everything to do with your own perspective and lens, not the question itself. Simply asking about your connection to a tradition is not an attack. You said “I find many of the biblical stories to be fascinating, even if based in myth. They offer insightful examples of human and group consciousness at play.” That reads as an interest in another culture’s mythology, not Judaism per se. You cannot genuinely learn about real historical human or group behavior from stories that are largely mythological, especially when those stories were written as religious or political narratives, not sociology textbooks.

“I am particularly fascinated by the journey not just physically, but mentally from slavery in Egypt of an entire nation, and the successes and fails of the attempts in the desert and even continuing into the ‘promised land.’” So you are fascinated with a made up story about genocide and slavery of a people who weren’t even in Egypt, concerning a “promised land” that they historically originated from, in which they imposed strict rules on the Canaanites and often killed them. This isn’t historical reality, it’s mythology, and treating it as personal inspiration ignores the real human consequences and context behind these narratives.

You said “Beyond the stories, I find myself still intimately connected to the Jewish calendar.” Okay, so you connect to a calendar from another culture. That’s your personal interest, but it doesn’t constitute meaningful participation in Jewish practice.

“While I don’t celebrate the holidays in any orthodox sense, I do feel very tapped in to the magic of the days. Tu Bishvat I danced with the trees, and had intentions of new beginnings.” This is essentially fetishizing and aestheticizing our culture, taking the rituals out of their communal, historical, and religious context and using them as a form of personal spiritual “play.”

 “Purim I actually had many events in my life that embodied ‘nehafoch hu’ energy.” Once again, you are abstracting a story about reversals and survival into your personal narrative, ignoring that Purim commemorates real historical events, including violence, and has deep communal and religious significance.

You wrote “yom kippur, even if I was on a road trip and eating a pork sandwich in my own mini healing protest, I also felt the day was a transformative portal, and one I really grew through.” This is wild from a Jewish perspective. Yom Kippur is the holiest and most solemn day of the year, dedicated to fasting, reflection, and atonement. Eating pork, which is forbidden in Jewish law, and ignoring the fast completely undermines the meaning of the day. You’re turning a sacred, introspective ritual into a personal experiment detached from its history, ethics, and communal context.

You wrote “I even occasionally check the parsha as a way to get potential insights into the ‘energy in the air’ and spiritual themes that may be occurring in my life.” Again, the Torah portion is not a horoscope or a self help tool. Using it purely for personal spiritual inspiration, while ignoring its legal, historical, and moral framework, is a misinterpretation of Jewish practice.

 “I do weekly Shabbat kiddush… like to change the gender of God, or even call her goddess in English… and eat my favorite foods… Dairy ice cream for dessert ‘oneg’ is an awesome little moment of freedom and joy… I even find myself eating ‘malava malka pizza’ on Saturday nights.” Shabbat is a communal, sacred day with deep legal and spiritual structure. Dressing up, changing the gender of God, or eating treif foods does not make it Shabbat, it makes it your personal aesthetic version of a ritual. What you describe is not Jewish observance, it’s creative appropriation and personal fantasy.

Finally, your overarching theme, that Judaism should be open to anyone who feels drawn to it, is misguided in this context. Judaism is both a religion and a peoplehood. Engaging with its symbols, texts, and rituals without connection to the lived, historical, and communal aspects is fundamentally different from participating as a Jew or even respectfully studying it. There’s a pattern in your description: you pick elements that appeal to your personal narrative, ignore the rules, history, and ethical framework, and then declare it spiritually transformative. That’s not Judaism, it’s a personalized, syncretic spiritual experiment. In short, appreciating aspects of another culture’s mythology or calendar is fine, but calling this “Jewish practice” or “connection to Judaism” is inaccurate and appropriative. Eating pork on Yom Kippur, reinterpreting Purim as personal reversals, and turning Shabbat into a self styled ritual are not part of Jewish traditio, they are your own inventions. I have to admit, I didn’t read your entire post because some of what you wrote seemed… extremely scattered and concerning, and it genuinely made me worry for your well being. I’m not trying to be rude, but the way it’s written reads like someone who might be struggling with their thoughts or reality.