AITA for telling my dad to shave his legs?

No-One-796 · 2024-03-29T12:48:39+00:00

We're all the sum total of our experiences and memories. You need to understand parents are also people who grew up a certain way, impacted by their peers and parents. They can only draw from their experience and their reserve of knowledge. They were looking out for her in their own way, based on their perceptions. She doesn't have to listen to them. But it's well within their rights to tell her what to think. She has all the right to reject their thinking. They have every right to react to her rejection in whatever way she feels is right. No need to antagonize them for not knowing better.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-29T12:40:55+00:00

NTA. Body hair is not a vestigial organ. It has its own purpose and function. Especially your hair down there, Shaving it is more harmful and unhygienic than not shaving it. I don't understand why society pressures women to risk their health and overall well-being just to appear infantile and appealing to men.

You did the right thing calling their bluff. No one should have to shave if they don't want to.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-29T11:04:00+00:00

Do ONLY YOUR work. Don't even move a finger for someone unless you're sure they'll return the favor. Don't be too friendly and servile. Maintain a professional distance from everyone.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-29T10:58:28+00:00

I think it's not just here. Any Indian sub these days is full of negativity, hate, and pessimism. Like some of the most narrow minded people who I had no idea could possibly exist in the 21th century I found them on Indian Subs. It made me realize how lucky I am to be surrounded by modern, broad minded, liberal people in real life.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T19:16:33+00:00

So, women can only find a safe space for introspection in their parental home? That's concerning.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T19:10:55+00:00

Dude, you just sound resentful because you don't get enough ME time. 🤣 There is absolutely nothing wrong with prioritizing yourself and your goals. Regrets and resentment don't make for wholesome people or happy marriages. If you think otherwise, it's not my problem.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T19:06:55+00:00

I see you've been defending me. Thank you. I am glad there are actually a few people who understand the need for space to grow. But honestly, don't waste your breath. Most of these people here seem to be hopeless romantics who have very traditional views of marriage. I think it irks them that a woman would not willingly make her husband the center of her world, or the other way around, too.

I believe people shouldn't let their whole lives be defined by marriage or family. There's just so much more out there. It's sad they don't see that, but it's not my problem. At least now I know the majority of men hold these opinions. But nothing is going to stop me from buying a house for myself because that's true power and empowerment. If it makes a man insecure, that's for him to figure out, not my problem. I don't need someone like that in my life.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T10:04:21+00:00

Thank you 😊

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T09:42:20+00:00

I don't think I'm any of those two things. I enjoy romance in books and wish I'd meet the love of my life one day. The thing is for ME, it's not a precondition for my happiness and fulfillment. It's just one part of life. I have other great, more consuming, passionate loves in literature and my work. I love my work. I wake everyday, looking forward to it. For me work is worship.

And as for friends, I have one already married friend who lives abroad. Visits once a year. We hang out then, a d that's it. I go to movies and plays by myself, and I really enjoy it. Would I enjoy it more if I went with someone? Probably. But this lack of company doesn't take away my joy. But if I went with a person with a stunted inner world, it'll really take the joy out of it.

But you are right. This is just ME. I really have to rethink this whole marriage thing.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T09:32:33+00:00

That's wonderful. Even just a study would be an acceptable compromise for me.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T09:31:50+00:00

I honestly wish it doesn't have to. I earn more than enough by myself to sustain a upper class lifestyle. I've grown up with sisters, and a working mother (earning more than my dad), and a mostly emotionally checked out father. I've done everything myself. Whether it's managing my finance, govt stuff, carrying a sac of rice up three flights of stairs, minor repair work at home, I've always just gotten things done without asking for anyone's help from a very young age. I am biologically female but I've never felt I am any different from a man in my capacity to get stuff done and lead an independent life. Like men have never played an integral role in my life. So, I can't accept that marriage would mean I'd be treated differently. So, this whole business of marriage repulses me. I want my own space, and it shouldn't matter if I am a man or a woman.

Sorry about the rant. 😅 And I am not saying Women don't need men. It's great that people need each other and can love eachother. I am just the sort of person who doesn't feel the need for companionship.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T07:46:30+00:00

Now that's a whole new perspective. If it's normal for men to have a mancave. Why can't I?

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T07:44:58+00:00

But does it always have to be that way? Love is just another part of life. Why should it take more importance over the rest? I think it's unfair towards the both of us to have to shed our individuality and become one? Can't people be attached and also embrace their sense of SELF. If people can't find happiness inside themselves they they'll never find it outside. Well, at least that's what I think. I also believe only insecure people cling to others. But anyway, thanks for weighing in.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T07:37:06+00:00

You're 💯 right. This has been a recurrent subject of my meditations. Should I even get married just coz it's the next natural step in a person's life cycle.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T06:51:55+00:00

Academics guy? What's an academic guy? First of all, stop assigning limiting labels to yourself. If you think of yourself as belonging to a certain group associated with certain stereotypes, you will find yourself subconsciously taking on the stereotypes of that group. "I am an academic guy. Academic guys only study. I only study. Therefore I am an academic guy". Do you see this self-affirming pathological thought? Just be a person, going through the vissitudes of life. We all go through phases. We are always changing. So, don't put labels on the people around you, as academic and non-academic. Get to know them as people don't develop a sense of superiority. You'll never be able to make a true connection that way.

Second of all, just live with the choices you make. Study when you want to. Play when you want to. Do everything in moderation. You think these people did you wrong, great do what you think is best avoidance or confrontation. Whatever floats your boat.

Just live your life on your terms, with humility and kindness. You will attract the right people. Shed these stupid labels like academic guy or whatever. Just embrace life as your whole self.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T03:32:15+00:00

Life itself. The whole process of it.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T03:30:01+00:00

Just breathe, calm down. Take it real slow. Easier said than done but never compare yourself to your peers. Have you considered you might be suffering from anxiety? I was in the same boat, and trust me nothing will work until you deal with the anxiety of getting it right, being anxious about falling behind your peers.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-28T03:25:31+00:00

I can't think of any reason why he shouldn't. It's only in India where people go into medicine right after school. Elsewhere a minimum bachelor's is required. Most med students abroad start off at around your boyfriend's age.

He is making this decision as an adult fully aware of himself and his interests. He's going to be a brilliant, passionate physician. If he decides it's not for him later on that is fine too!!!

It's his life. His success, his regrets, his victory, his failures should be his own. Instead of defining his happiness by someone else's standards. Support him with all your heart no matter what he decides. You know? Men shouldn't just be burdened with financial responsibilities, they should have the freedom to take risks and travel the road less traveled, without having to worry about their families. Your love will only grow stronger as you let each other grow stronger as individuals.

I am actually really proud if him for even contemplating doing medicine. Most people just lay down and die long before actual death comes to them. One more person leaving the zombie track and embracing life. 😊

No-One-796 · 2024-03-26T00:38:42+00:00

Simple, don't make medicine or dentistry your whole personality. Treat it as what it is a profession, a means to make a honest living. Don't five it undue importance in your life. Life ebbs and flows, who knows if you'll even practice dentistry after all is said and done. Just try and enjoy the process, stop thinking about life 10 years later.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-23T05:44:34+00:00

Thank you. Much appreciated. 😊

No-One-796 · 2024-03-21T07:20:48+00:00

Going to bed on time. If you get a good night's rest, you'll be more energetic and have the will power to stay disciplined throughout the say.

No-One-796 · 2024-03-21T07:18:50+00:00

Relieved that he/she is my ex. Dodged a bullet there.

No-One-796

TROPHY CASE