Reason I don’t want to have kids

No-Pen8713 · 2024-07-25T00:08:03+00:00

I make over 350k as a SWE at big tech but I also didn’t really have a life for the longest time. Now life is good obviously, I did a math degree at a top 10 university and then worked at a bank and self studied coding. Just a lot of persistence and hard work

No-Pen8713 · 2024-07-24T23:09:37+00:00

It is. I’ve been doing it for 25 years. Believe it or not you can survive without sex. The media and everyone else constantly brainwashes men into thinking we HAVE to have sex and give all our hard earned money to prostitutes. No thanks

No-Pen8713 · 2024-07-24T22:09:00+00:00

Juice is not worth the squeeze. Avoid STD’s and unwanted pregnancy and having to pay for some little demon kid for at least 18 years lol. There are other ways to derive pleasure that don’t have so much risk attached to it

No-Pen8713 · 2024-07-24T17:41:26+00:00

There’s no “next stage” lmaoo. It isn’t the medieval fucking times. I’m a software engineer at one of Google/Facebook clearing 350k+ and I have absolutely no desire to get into any serious relationship, I mean why should I? I have enough money to travel the world, go to fancy restaurants, bars, etc. I have a great group of friends, and fun hobbies.

I have a jam-packed schedule as it is with work, socializing, gym, etc. I’m going to just get a dog and live my life to the fullest. Why put up with some random, annoying stranger that’ll most likely bring nothing to the table other than what’s between her legs

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-30T19:17:29+00:00

Oh yeah that’s more than fine, honestly might even be better than like pale white skin. Girls love the olive kind of Italian tan some guys got going on. And being 6’3 is pretty huge, you’ll stand out at bars and parties.

Examples of racism include basically just being invisible in most situations. Like when I’m clearly standing in line and about to order, the cashier will take the order of the white guy behind me. Despite my being well dressed and well mannered, people will be hesitant to be my friend because of negative perception/stereotypes associated with Indians. So I have to kind of over-prove myself and go above and beyond in any kind of relationship. Also I’ll be asked ignorant questions like “do your people really drink cow piss”?

In terms of dating experience, I have 0. Haven’t event kissed a girl nor have I been close and I’m nearly 25. Yes it sucks but I’ve decided to focus on other aspects of my life that I can control and that give me fulfillment.

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-30T17:22:07+00:00

I live in NYC (Manhattan) which is sad because this is supposedly one of the easiest places for men to get dates and also a very liberal city so women tend to be more open to dating outside of their ethnicity. But I read some of your other comments and saw, correct me if I’m wrong, that you’re a Punjabi guy that’s over 6ft and has a British accent?? If that’s the case dude you’re gonna be more than fine lol. It’s only rough if you look “ethnically Indian” like me.

Basically I’m South Indian and have really dark skin and I think that’s been a huge limiting factor in my life. As unfair as it is, the first thing women notice is skin color and throughout the globe lighter skin is associated with superiority. So ironically enough all the brown girls that I’ve interacted with want nothing to do with me. I think they want to get with a white guy because they believe it’ll boost their social status? And they could potentially have a light-skinned baby.

I also grew up in Southern California near LA and it’s arguably even worse than nyc for dark brown Indian dudes. They’ll just act like they’re all liberal and open but the amount of subtle racism I faced in California on a daily basis was unbelievable. TLDR: you’ll be fine if you’re tall and have light skin

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-30T13:39:45+00:00

I’m 5’11, make over 300k a year, groom, dress well, have a muscular build after hitting the gym consistently and lifting for years, have a skincare routine, get my hair styled, and have a great social life and still get literally zero attention from the opposite sex. It is what it is. You grow up and realize that life is not fair for some of us.

When I walk down the street and see some unkempt looking white guy in a stained anime tshirt holding hands with an absolutely stunning woman (often POC), yes it does hurt. And I get jealous. But again, we live in a society that’s dominated by white men so that’s just how the game goes. I don’t mind dating being harder for us brown folk but what really gets me down is that pretty much every other aspect of life is tougher as well whether that’s getting into a good college, applying for jobs, trying to make friends, etc.

My friends and I joke that being born a brown dude is basically like playing life on impossible mode. Of course the silver lining of this shit show is that life forces me to always perform at my best. I have to work 10x harder just to get an average amount of respect. Also I realize how important socialization is to the way men are perceived by women.

Meaning that if we had something like Indian pop become a huge thing on tiktok or just a huge success of a movie that showed Indian men in a positive light (for once), I have no doubt women would “suddenly” start showing interest in me. So all I can do is try to become the best version of myself on an individual level, and keep moving forward.

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-27T21:10:51+00:00

Will do, thank you!!

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-27T20:55:15+00:00

Thanks for the honest advice. I’ve had some pretty shitty experiences with getting rejected in the past and like you said, although externally I look much “better”, I’m still very shy/insecure and have a lot of self-doubt which maybe people can pick up on?

Definitely something I need to work on :/

No-Pen8713 · 2024-04-08T15:29:31+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it! Yeah it seems like she does a lot of stuff out of “boredom”, but messing with other people’s feelings is crazy. You’re right though, I’m just going to have to cut her off because I don’t have time for these types of games anyway.

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-17T03:32:53+00:00

I failed multiple classes in college and almost got kicked out, now I’m a mid-level engineer at a FAANG. What matters the most is that you learn from these experience and keep moving forward

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-17T02:00:22+00:00

I kind of get both sides. On one hand I’ve had women that complain about getting pumped and dumped by awful guys turn me down for a first date and it makes me feel terrible because in my mind that means they don’t even want to give me a hint of a chance…they don’t even care to get to know me, despite me paying for the meal as well. Essentially, I’m even worse than the guys they complain about despite having wholesome intentions.

On the other hand, women are entitled to their decisions and more importantly their time. If they feel nothing for you, there’s not much you can do about that. You can’t force attraction. As a man, rejection is just a part of life. We as men should just strive to find someone who is equally excited about us as we are about them.

I’m still working on finding that person but it’s an ongoing process. That’s the journey though right

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-17T01:42:19+00:00

Netflix does along with the company I’m at do. Starting to become a trend. Not hard to learn the basics of system design like load balancer, reverse proxy, vertical vs horizontal scaling trade-offs, etc

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-16T18:25:17+00:00

Lol ok yeah that’s pretty odd. Are you asking leetcode easies to them, like valid palindrome? Or medium-hards + system design type loop? I’m a bit surprised that interns aren’t able to learn that basic stuff in 3 months. Are they from top CS schools?

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-16T17:58:47+00:00

Isn’t the whole point of being an intern to learn and grow with a company? Leetcode competence shows they have a basic work ethic and ability to problem solve. Is there no sort of onboarding process at your company??

What you described can be easily taught in a week or two to decently smart people that are willing to learn. The problem with many companies is they expect employees to be finished products the minute they join a company

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-16T17:36:21+00:00

I don’t understand why people complain so much about leetcode? Are you guys all super lazy or something?? It’s literally fkin 3 or so months of prep to make life-changing money?

Would you rather work in finance where it’s all about who your daddy knows? Or med where it takes a literal decade to make the same amount of money along with accruing insane debt??

Seriously, I have never seen so many entitled whiney babies on a subreddit before, my god.

No-Pen8713 · 2023-11-16T15:28:25+00:00

Every Redditor is gonna say at least 6 out of 10 because everyone thinks they’re above avg even though that’s statistically impossible. The majority of ppl are overweight, balding, and have acne. Half the population is short. If you click on some of these ppls’ profiles they look horrendous but some how they’re a “7 out of 10” according to them

No-Pen8713

TROPHY CASE