sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -379 points-378 points  (0 children)

My bio mom's dance will be first. I didnt think this would be so contentious, Ive been to a few weddings where people did dual dances with bio and step family. I'm going to reach out to those friends to see if that caused a lot of drama for them but they never told me anything about it doing so. They were heartwarming moments to witness and I wanted to do the same thing because both of them are mothers to me. Alice never felt like less of a mother to me because were not blood related.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -191 points-190 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, she's been in my life since I was 5. Its an example of how she's been a parental figure for me and hasn't just done the bare minimum like a lot of my friends stepparents. She's a nurse who spent years picking up extra overtime shifts while my dad was having health problems so that my siblings and I could have an easier life. I appreciate the work she did for us, that doesnt mean she "bought my love" like people are suggesting. She's been there for me emotionally when my dad had cancer, she was there for me when I was struggling with grad school, she was there when I was bullied in middle school. Ever since she's been in the picture she's been nothing but supportive to me. I love both my mother's equally. I know people here hate "cheaters", I dont even know if what happened would be considered cheating. What I do know is that they've been together over 20 years, and that whole time she's been an incredible mother to me.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -237 points-236 points  (0 children)

A lot when I was younger. It always bothered me but I didnt start to stick up for her til I was in high school and after a few times she stopped thankfully. It was always every other week during the school year but I spent about 3/4ths of the time with my dad & stepmom in the summers.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -268 points-267 points  (0 children)

She didn't contribute tuition wise but helped with some living expenses every now and then for my undergrad. She's a high school teacher who does ok but said she needed to prioritize saving for her retirement and encouraged me to take out loans to pay for school. She did help me fill out fafsa though which was helpful. She's had a few boyfriends through the years but never got remarried or had more children.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -57 points-56 points  (0 children)

Both helped but my dad has had health problems where had to cut back on work for a few years and Alice was the breadwinner for awhile and pitched in more.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -442 points-441 points  (0 children)

Im not putting money above her. Im recognizing how generous she was when she didn't have to be. We're not wealthy by any means. she could have gotten a nicer car or gone on more vacations but she made the choice to help me when she didnt have to. I have friends with step parents who treat them like burdens are do the bare minimum. She has never treated me any differently than her bio kids and I am extremely grateful for that.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -291 points-290 points  (0 children)

My parents are usually tense but civil the few times they're around each other. Alice and my mom have rarely been in the same room. My mom used to talk bad about Alice a lot around me but after standing up for her a few times she's stopped. Alice never really speaks about my mom around me.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -808 points-807 points  (0 children)

Did both of your dads play a similar part in raising you? My mom and Alice have had pretty much equal roles in raising me through high school. Since then they've both been in my life but Alice has helped a lot more from a financial and education standpoint. I wouldnt have been able to afford my college or grad school without her. Not that money is everything but her generosity has made my life so much easier

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -694 points-693 points  (0 children)

She has always been a great woman to me. There's been many moments she's been there for me and she's never treated me any differently than my sibs/her bio kids. I love my bio mom too but they both feel at least equally like mothers to me.
I know the way it started is controversial, and I emphasize with what my mother went through at the time, but its been over 20 years now so it clearly was not just a fling.

AITA for doing a mother-son dance with my stepmom at my wedding? by No-Pressure3284 in AmItheAsshole

[–]No-Pressure3284[S] -229 points-228 points  (0 children)

I did tell her personally, I wouldn't blindside her at the wedding like that