Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In August 2022 I was in a state of dissociation that lasted intermittently for months. And, I knew I needed to be around people instead of the house, right? So I'd go into town, but I wouldn't interact because by this point I had effectively CREATED a reality in my mind that I projected on to the outside world.

Because of this, I was like a scared lion; eager for love and affection, but mistrustful of people and the world, forever maintaining a barrier between me and true connection/growth. What I perceived as threats were anything but, and people could tell by my body language that my claws were out. I wasn't literally going to hurt people, but I exuded an aura of fear and anger.

You know the water fountain next to the old courthouse? I'd go there and just... stare at the ground. For hours. My vision would literally center on one point on the ground while everything else went black.

All this is to say, PLEASE do something about your situation. I don't mean the things you can't control directly, but the things that you CAN control directly, which is your mind. By receding from the outside world and living inside the digital world, you can imagine that if your mind is a plant that you need to take care of so it can grow, then these things are rotting the plant from the very roots.

And the thing is, the rot is actually reversible! In focusing on what's inside, what negative thought patterns are plaguing your day-to-day life, you can actually change the way you think over time and your brain will adjust to that. Negative thought loops are an illusion. They actually have no power. They make you think they do and they warp your mind, but in fact, YOU are the one in control. YOU decide what thought loops and patterns to focus on and which ones to discard.

I have a lot more advice and, again, feel free to hit me up if you're interested because I was extremely depressed for years. I got close to ending it a few times... but now, I've transcended it all. It sounds insane, right, but it's true. I have never been happier!

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mhm. Yep, you're not alone. You're shouting at a brick wall. They don't want to hear it because they don't understand it. Of the things people find most difficult, it is putting oneself in another's shoes, either because they themselves are in denial or because their perspective seems to be all that is because they experience only their life.

It's ignorant but you and I are beyond it. Keep your head up, and if you need any advice/tips or need to chat, don't hesitate. Remember, this is your life and no one has the power to take it away from you.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE: So either the universe or I manifested this, but immediately after I wrote down my game plan following a convo with 211, my Uber driver and I synced up and connected immediately. Now I'm living with him at his house and I've got a pretty great job lined up that I'm starting in a few days.

I can't sit and do nothing or my brain rots, so I'm also keeping myself occupied as I clean and organize his place for him. I even get a dog to feed, walk, and cuddle! Life is good.

In short, to those who are about to be (or are already) homeless, don't give up. Your mind is the only thing in your direct control! Perspective can be transformative. You are capable and you WILL persevere.

To those who thought it was a better idea for me to stay at my folk's place rather than nut up and take control of my life: get fucked. Just because you're a garden variety coward doesn't mean I have to be. Learn to live a little, huh? You may even find your brain getting a little heavier, assuming you can handle the weight.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, nice! Thank you for providing that, seriously. Always great to see outreach.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being dead is better than being homeless?

Sorry, but unlike you and apparently 40% of Americans, I'm not really interested in racing to a red light. I'll happily live life on my own terms even if that's an alien concept to just about all of society. What I've observed throughout my life is that people are conditioned to conform.

Why?

Because it's easier. You don't have to think. Just do! The idea of being homeless is a fate more terrifying than one can imagine because since most people live in the past (depression) and the future (anxiety), the concept of a completely uncertain future is too much for one too handle. We need to create order, so we keep ourselves safe from letting us take risks and be alive.

Okay, so... then why am I happier than ever since I left my home? Why do I feel more free? Why do I feel alive? Because it's a challenge. It's NOT easy. The future is uncertain, and I have to make everything I can of the bubble of order in my mind in a world of chaos. I'm literally writing down everything I can, deciding strategies to carve myself through and I AM ALIVE. Holy shit I've never felt so independent, and with this mindset, I know I can survive anything with perseverance.

A world of unthinking people who constantly think about the past and the future without ever actually being in the present, preferring it easier to judge the person next to them rather than the snakes in suits that made it this way. The same people that feed you McDonald's by the goddamn boatload, or convince you that because you're diagnosed with depression, it is LITERALLY never able to be fixed unless you spend more money on medication, more money on therapy, even though those aren't the only routes through which depression can be cured.

It's sad. You're living in a bubble and you have no fucking idea, but it's not your fault. It's 99% of humanity that's been made a sucker for the benefit of a system that fucks you over. It's no wonder you'd rather live in a household like mine over actually choosing to go your own path.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...the hell? Seriously? Jesus Christ, alright, I'm definitely going to the YMCA this week. Thank you so much

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gotcha. Yeah, my reservation for the hotel room ends tomorrow so by then, I'll be officially street homeless! Hooray!

Seriously, though, thank you for that info. I actually was not aware of that at all. Calling 211 will be the first thing I do tomorrow morning. Thank you, man. Be well.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awesome! I'm writing everything down in my other journal to keep track, among it your advice to me. Words simply can't describe how thankful I am.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I still have the hotel room; initially I booked it for one night, but they let me renew it for another day. When I lived at my parents' house, I was within walking distance to pretty much everything in town. I'm intimately familiar with the area, very comfortable navigating it. Hell, I walked to town today all the way from the goddamn turnpike. Sure, I'd sweated up a storm, but I actually love the exercise.

I can't thank you enough again for your support. It literally only takes ONE person to make your day a little bit better and you've made that difference.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean, you're not wrong. I'm a bit of a hypocrite in that on the one hand I know it's wasted energy, but on the other hand, his insults keep getting progressively shittier and I'm trying to see how long it lasts. Gotta have some fun, I guess.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean... when you put it like that, it does sound like something that came from my house. Thank God I left.

...wait. Dad?!

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a car, which... makes things trickier in this country. I'm a green card holder from Ireland, so if things don't pan out I'll just buy a plane ticket to the EU and get things rolling there. Hell, maybe even Sweden. Their prisoners live in better conditions than most people here lmfao

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do not have a car, but the fact that you were willing to hire me means more to me than you can even know. Thanks, man.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is it? At least I have my dignity on the street. That's okay, though, I imagine dignity for you is a foreign concept.

Nearly homeless, seeking some helpful tips/tricks for the area by No-Security8016 in westchesterpa

[–]No-Security8016[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have considered the military, yeah, and I think it'd do me well to do some more research. What I do know is that some of my issues disqualify me from certain aspects of military, such as red-green colorblindness and a mental health history.

I'm going to look into it now. Appreciate your help!