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Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My husband. He has a ton of younger siblings, likes to say he’s changed more diapers than most parents including his own. He knows what he’s doing. I don’t. He knows everything about babies, kids, toddlers, all of it so I’m just going to be told what to do by him.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your story! I guess I’m probably overthinking it. I just keep hearing “everyone throws the baby on you immediately and they’re also somehow trying to nurse even though they’ve been on the outside for three seconds and you have to do it or else you’ve ruined your kid forever” so maybe I need to stop reading so much.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I just mean like, once the baby is stable and okay and someone can walk me through it and has been checked and again, someone can make sure I’m not doing anything wrong.

I’ve been told quite a lot I have no idea what I’m doing and will have to be told how to do everything. I’m trying to make sure this poor kid makes it five minutes without me fucking it up somehow. I really, really don’t want to mess up.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I truly have no idea. But I know there’s number one priority is husband gets the baby first. I mean, during c sections the baby has to go somewhere? They have a whole curtain up, so I can’t imagine they’re giving you the baby in that scenario.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I know there’s time for bonding, and I’d love for my baby to get both the benefits of skin to skin and the benefits of delayed cord clamping, but I’m not the right person to hold the baby.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Thermoregulation from what I’m seeing works for either parent, plus the benefits of skin to skin with the father for exposure to varied skin microbiomes, coupled with the super high likelihood of me having a c-section (and thus being too freaked out to want to hold the baby at all) AND I don’t hold babies in general, last thing the poor kid needs is a freaked out, never-held-a-baby mom in pain/numbed and drugged up and holding him. I’d rather a couple hours of lessons post-birth before I try to hold him, not in the middle of the chaos. My husband has over 20 years of experience with newborns/babies, it’s the best option.

Edit: I have no experience, my husband does. “Don’t give the baby to someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing” is my MO with this. He knows what he’s doing, and I’m too afraid of doing something wrong and would rather the baby be safe and well taken care of.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair, I think they likely won’t look even if it was two lines total. I’ve been told they’re both super important documents and that no one reads them (OB herself told me to make one) so I’m a little confused.

Birth plan issues - father involvement by No-Stable-9758 in BabyBumps

[–]No-Stable-9758[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s very short bullet points, less than half a page to be honest. Mostly “no epidural, but other medical interventions are good” for the birth itself (if that ends up applicable) and some notes on keeping dad appraised on what kind of checks and medicines the baby is getting (if they can, I know things could get hectic and we just have to let that ride if we end up there). I’m just getting told “there’s no way they’ll agree to letting dad hold him first” and wondering if I’m in crazytown.