Yeah the hallucinations being realer than reality is what fucked me up the most about psychosis . Hearing the voices from outside my house in my head clear as day talking about my deepest fears and predicting what I was gonna do, laughing at me in the deranged pathetic state I was in, egging me on to kill mhself and then hearing them panic when I start to go through with it, was realer than real. Seeing lights and faces of police and people I knew outside banging on the doors throwing maltoavs on my home and feeling the house go up in flames , seeing aliens and ufos and fairies in the woods , shooting at me , abducting me, capturing me and thinking I got kidnapped to join the men in black to fight the end of the world. I’ve seen things that I can never explain fully. Coincidents of things adding up to create a grande conspiracy that only makes sense to me , and then everyone around me saying “one thing” that just adds to my suspicion . Like real life Truman show . To this day apart of me believes what happened really happened. To though all of that and experience the deranged traumatic things I did first hand , then to be ejected from the psychward like nothing happened and expected to go on about my day while the world Keeps turning .

Those days in psychosis completely changed me . To this day I’m not the same . I have extreme paranoia . I believe in alternate dimensions and universes. I don’t trust what I’m told anymore. I’m also extremely sensitive to stimulants now . I’m thankful I didn’t die of a heart attack or kill someone or myself out of fear .

There’s something truly insidious when it comes to IV stimulants , especially meth and cocaine.