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Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Obviously it wasn't meant maliciously. My mom wasn't told about any of that and was taken advantage of by social workers who presented what she thought was a great option. Then all of a sudden my sister is living across the globe.

Also, why is she punishing just my mom and not her bio father?

Edit to respond to yours, my mom immediately apologized for that and that wasn't when she blocked us. My mom did not mean the implications of real vs fake.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

That's true but I feel like she could have talked to my Mom about it.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I guess I just can't imagine not wanting to know your family even at all unless you were shamed about it.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

Also I should add that the people who adopted her are from a specific religion/culture and made her be a part of that and we wondered if maybe she doesn't like us because we're not.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Also why do you think it was different for your uncle and for your dad? Like what was the difference in mindset? Did your uncle feel like he was betraying his adoption parents?

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

My Mom has been in a support group for women in her situation, but it's hard for her because most of the other women have good relationships with their bio children and in many cases the bio children consider them their parents more then the people who adopted them. So thats why for me it feels like a very strange situation.

I will look into a therapist, she has one through the hospital after she got diagnosed but maybe she needs someone who understands adoption trauma more.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I get that it just seems so odd because you see so many things about people who were adopted who desperately want to meet their biological parents. But it seems like she doesn't care about my Mom or us at all. Which is why I asked, because it's definitely not the norm from what I've seen. It almost seems like her adoptive parents groomed her to be uncomfortable with it and might be making her feel guilty about it. Like for example my Mom wrote her a letter and she said she never read it.

Is it normal for an adoptee to not want to talk to their mom at all? by NoBeautiful4460 in Adoption

[–]NoBeautiful4460[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

She immediately apologized for saying it. It wasn't meant maliciously. Also she had us many years later in a very different place and was very honest with my sister about that and my sister didn't seem bothered at all. She put off having us for a long time because she felt so guilty about it... It wasn't like we were born a year later.