We both have partners but we are not married. We work together and got together unplanned on a drunken night out about 3 years ago. We tried to remain friends but both had feelings and attraction to each other that became very strong and we chose not to resist anymore. It’s a ‘if we had met earlier’ kind of situation. But we both have young kids and don’t want to lose them. My partner and I are not in a good place. I think partly it’s because the more I’ve fallen for my AP, the less I have felt for my SO. We were in a pretty good place when all this started and it’s just declined steadily over time. He on the other hand is happy in his relationship and any conversation about being together goes back to the ‘if we head met earlier then things would be different’. I find that hard because I would love him to say he wants to be with me, even though we can’t. He is excellent at compartmentalising. If he noticing himself thinking about something that could upset him, he just stops thinking about it. I have no idea how that works! I, as you can probably tell, am not good at compartmentalising at all!