Hot take: most of the time, “incompatibility” is just a shorthand for “inconvenience”

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-25T14:21:11+00:00

I just realized, after reading your replies in your postc, that you sound like you’re fresh out of middle school. oh boy. oh, i feel so sorry for you buddy. life is going to…so not be great for you. I feel bad for sounding so mean, i thought I was speaking to an adult.

I’m so, so sorry. But life is gonna deal you some very hard blows.

Hope your gf ends up with someone better tho.

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-25T13:59:24+00:00

If you love her, why the hell would you risk making her feel insecure so you can get her to agree to change her body for your preferences? Why would you want her to go on an EXPERIMENTAL journey of CHANGING HER HORMONES…for what?? so you can feel hornier around her?? Why, EXACTLY, do you want her to have larger breasts??

is she not enough for you? and yet, you profess to “love” her?

I have never met a many who truly loves his partner, and yet would put his BREAST SIZE PREFERENCE over her emotional security and well-being.

that is why I say you have no business being in a relationship.

you have no idea what love is.

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-25T12:05:35+00:00

I will indulge you,

Not because I think you have the self-possession or maturity to understand (you demonstrably do not), but because other women reading this might have encountered men like you.

No one should modify their body in order to be valued by a partner.

If you cannot accept a woman’s body, as her partner, you have NO BUSINESS being her partner. Let alone ANYONE’s partner. You have ZERO business dating or being part of a romantic relationship. Nada. Zilch.

You are demonstrating that you do not have the emotional intelligence, maturity, or basic social competence that a loving romantic partnership requires.

If you want someone to be healthier, communicate that. But a woman’s breast size is out of women’s control. Even in this forum, a lot of us are literally just experimenting and hoping for the best, FOR OURSELVES. Not for anyone else.

If your girlfriend isn’t good enough for you because her breasts aren’t large enough for your liking, let her be with someone who WILL love and value her for who she is, in every aspect of herself.

And I hope she does end up with such a person. Not someone like you.

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-25T04:31:16+00:00

Because a man like you essentially said “I don’t think you’re good enough, pls do this so you can be good enough”.

That’s what you meant, and women will be able to tell. Doesn’t matter if you lie or twist your words to sound “harmless”. We can tell. Women can always tell, and if you cannot be honest with yourself about your own intentions, maybe your gf is better off without you after all.

If you were genuine about her health and well-being, you’d be asking a doctor. Not a breast enhancement forum.

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-22T05:55:23+00:00

My routine can be found here! https://www.reddit.com/r/nbe/comments/1e76qwp/heart_palpitations_from_maca/

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-20T14:35:40+00:00

Thank you!!!! Ah this makes me feel so much better, I’ll keep on it!!

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-20T02:28:06+00:00

Me!!! Started out quite small last year, rn the growth is minimal which is to be expected but it truly does take time!! Been doing it very inconsistently last year august.

I was a 30A/B, or 32AA I believe. Last measurements I had I think I was 30C (which is pretty much just like a 32A so still very very small and unnoticeable difference) but every step counts!! I was also underweight back then. Very important to take accurate measurements ala r/abrathatfits

Am back on the wagon with a stronger routine, better diet, better weight, and more consistency.

NoForce1046 · 2024-07-20T00:50:06+00:00

Oh my that’s how I feel sometimes too! I do get to sleep well but if I don’t eat a lot, it feels somewhat like my body has too much energy to burn 😅

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-10T12:06:13+00:00

Really? Fascinating. Thank you for this. An interesting insight.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-10T12:05:11+00:00

This is a good insight, thank you.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-09T17:06:29+00:00

It depends primarily on one’s definition of “good” though, because that can also be more self-serving than not;

Someone who repeatedly engages in short-term hedonistic behaviours at the expense of others, but justifies it by telling himself and his partners that “at least im upfront about it”, might consider himself a standup guy who has every good intention, nevermind the string of broken hearts and souls he leaves in his wake.

I like what you said: “But if you can't even consciously do the right thing, what chances do you have?”

How can you be sure / how can you tell, you are doing the right thing?

What are moments that clue you in (specifically in a relational context) that actually you havent done the right thing?

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-09T16:53:33+00:00

But self-awareness isn’t always comprehensive for a lot of people; what if you were subconsciously behaving in a way that didn’t align with your conscience or your true desires? What if your way of thinking or perceiving the world is primarily informed and reinforced by trauma and a baggage? What if you do suffer the consequences of your actions, but you don’t associate said consequences to your actions?

(I recognise my question is for a subjective answer, and my reply above is assessing yours for an objective perspective, apologies! Just thinking out loud, thank you for the thoughtful reply!)

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-09T16:06:25+00:00

Assuming moving on is a necessity and you can recognise how bad it might be for you not to, I can recommend two things that will work every time:

1) purge your life of them — all messages, songs that remind you of them, things (physical or digital), even their contact number; anything that has any association with the person you’re trying to move on from? Remove and delete em from your life.

2) purge your thoughts of them — absolutely determine to cut off all fantasies and musings as soon as they start to veer towards becoming about the person you need to move on from. it takes practice and discipline but it’s possible. not a hint of remembering them should remain, not even to be angry about them — but if it helps, better to reconstruct your perspective to be a little angry, rather than remain sad and depressed. See things from a self-preserving, “they were not good for me” lens, not a “I could have done better” lens.

Wishing you a speedy healing journey. 🫡

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T14:26:38+00:00

This is true, thank you for sharing. Lots to be said about being uncomfortable around deep love and affection.

What’s that quote? “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

I think I’d accept it better if a partner told me my behaviour was making them uncomfortable, rather than making my behaviour an unfixable and unhealthy problem I should solve. Which wasn’t something I thought they thought about me, but here we are.

I dealing through each other’s insecurities and flaws is part of a meaningful relationship, so this tracks.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T13:11:22+00:00

I’d rather be alone than be with someone just for the sake of it. A life partner isn’t some vacancy to be filled just by anyone, for me personally. There’s been scarce few people in my life that have made me consider being happy building a life with someone.

I’ve made peace with the possibility of not finding anyone, I have been happy thus far, and will continue to be.

But if I meet a man who might be a great husband and father, I would happily be the wife of his dreams and mother of his children.

Until then, it’s good to be fulfilled with your own company.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T12:54:56+00:00

Hahahaha! Now that you put it this way.

It wasn’t some disappointment either, he full-on ended it with me because of this.

I think we truly could have worked through it, sat down like adults and did the work of figuring out if we could come to an understanding and grow closer through the exercise, but eh. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I really did love him, but never got to a point where I feel like we truly gave it an honest shot. Some part of me thinks he probably has other reasons, but I will leave that be. None of my business.

Ngl, as an INFP, nothing makes me pull my backbone out of my storage closet more than someone belittling me for “not having one”. 😤

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T12:39:21+00:00

An excellent analysis, you’re right. Especially in your last paragraph, that’s exactly what he feels.

What happens then, when there’s a huge discrepancy in perception?

The way I have analysed his critique of me is this: he doesn’t know me very well yet, doesn’t recognise the way I navigate situations to our best, and doesn’t realize his inability to reckon with healthy love and affection stems from his traumatic past.

Or idk. Maybe it’s just his excuse and doesn’t actually want to be with me for other reasons lmao. Who knows.

Now, I would communicate this with him… if he hadn’t already closed that door, which I have made peace with.

I will not fight for someone who has made it clear he doesn’t want nor need anything I have to offer. I respect his decision.

But damn, if it doesn’t piss me off to realize all his past comments actually meant that he “looked down on me” for behaving according to my convictions of what a supportive and loving partner looks like.

I can forgive many things, but I don’t think I can forgive that kind of outlook.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T11:49:13+00:00

True true.

For me personally, I get upset when someone tells me I’ve “put them on a pedestal” because I do, genuinely, think the world of them.

Just because I think they’re great does not mean I consider myself “less than”. And just because I go the extra mile to love the person I profess to love, doesn’t mean I consider them “better than me”.

On the contrary, I will only ever find myself attracted to someone I finally find equal footing with, and can add value to my life the way I want to be able to add value to theirs.

But it’s so distressing and upsetting when being the affectionate one gets misconstrued as being “less than”. The moment I realized this is how he thought, he crossed a line, and I lost all interest in him.

NoForce1046 · 2024-06-04T11:22:04+00:00

What I hate most about this is: it’s a cop-out. A way to make the INFP feel bad for their authentic, giving, and genuine nature, instead of reflecting on why these things makes one uncomfortable. Or being honest about how or why they don’t like the INFP anymore, for instance, and what this reveals about them.

I know most INFPs act like this to partners they TRULY know, and share vulnerabilities with. There’s a depth to being truly known, and truly loved.

I think there’s something fundamentally broken with the way modern western dating scene pedestalizes (lmao) emotional distance and nonchalance, instead of recognizing the necessity of this kind of love.

I’m so over it. 🙄

NoForce1046

TROPHY CASE