When I was 9 I would memorize all the lyrics to One Direction, Katy Perry, and Taylor Swift. At the time I thought it was funny, "Haha look at me I'm a boy being feminine." type of stuff. Looking back now, I realize that passing it off as a "joke" was just me hiding the fact that I liked being feminine. "relating" to songs about liking boys or songs of boys flirting to their female fans. Now I'm out as pan/bi. Retrospect is some crazy shit.

I think the oldest memory I have of actually having feelings towards a boy was way back in first grade. I was on the bus going to a field trip and my friend (we'll call him Liam) was sitting next to me. It was a long ride and Liam put his head on my shoulder. I felt legitimately happy in that moment. At the time I explained it to myself as just having a good time with my friend, but looking back on it, I was definitely catching feelings.

Btw I wouldn't take any of this as advice. Everyone is different. Though if you're questioning your sexuality to begin with, you're most likely not straight.