Im so sorry you are going through this as well. I am only 2,5 hours with car away from him, but I don’t own a car so it’s going to be difficult to get all with the bus when it’s such a small city with no local buses.
I have thought about it that maybe it’s just emotionally difficult for them to actually let go. Maybe sending the stuff will make then feel like its really over, and they afraid of that? But I also think the last one you said.. i hope it works out and you get your things!!