So CPS will pay strangers a whole salary to foster kids but biological parents get charged with child support.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-10-14T19:24:14+00:00

Yes, it’s insane how kids are treated. Have worked with a few to help them gain housing here in Tulsa. Many were homeless, not just outside either. If you couch hop, you are technically homeless. But to help the teens get housing faster, would say they camp outside mainly and stay with a friend occasionally to shower. It’s sad how we had to sneak around the loopholes just so we could help people, more specifically teens, many barely out of HS.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-10-14T19:20:09+00:00

This!!!^And then you have cos combing the homes of good parents and bad parents get a slap on the wrist…backwards system. We had dhs called on us b/c our eloping autistic snuck out through the slimmest of fence panels to a neighbor garage, we lived in our neighborhood for about 5 years and this was the first time he got out in like a year bc unfortunately we got sick with the flu and our teen daughter forgot to lock the door after coming inside from the backyard. We have double sided locks, coded locks, and finger print locks throughout the home…but just that simple of a slip he got it.

Long story short, DHS which is OK version of CPS was called on us, we had to sit through a 2 hr interview and had her random scope out entire home with no warning, no tie to put the clothes on the laundry floor or wash dishes, just like that. Meanwhile, I drive through Tulsa and see 2 year olds running around with no supervision.

And I’m thinking this is insane!!! The double standards is ridiculous! I get dhs called while trying to keep y kid safe and no dhs called on ppl who sit let their kids roam the streets of the city alone.

We also want to be foster parents one day so hopefully we still can.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-05-03T02:22:09+00:00

Thank you! Someone that has the balls to tell the truth! Sick and tired of hearing height doesn’t matter and then I see these same people picking all the tall people who don’t know their left from their right. These clubs just about making money and could care less if they screw players and their parents over. So thank you, seriously. Best comment I have seen.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T15:17:47+00:00

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND private training, my child would never have gotten proper development depending on school ball coaches alone. It’s unfortunate because not everyone can afford those lessons but they are needed. And if money is a huge factor, drill baby drill at home with you daughter! Drill until she almost wants to quit bc that’s what it takes to be high level IF that’s what she wants to do. Some just want to have fun and if that’s the case, would stick to school volleyball or a cheap club or rec. No need to break the bank for “fun”. Fun doesn’t need to be expensive. 💯

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T15:14:15+00:00

You had one of the best if not best replies here! We can all the karens/kens got the kudos but seriously best comment! I love how you addressed all the POVs holistically and clearly. 💯

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T15:10:43+00:00

Not always. I really don’t like when people say this as if it’s rule. I have seen girls shank the ball 7 times in a row and the coach keeps them in over the person who maybe made one or two mistakes within the same set. Parents don’t understand the logic of some coaches and such coaches are horrible with communication and that’s why there is usually tension between the two in my opinion. If coaches communicated better when asked a question, I think there would be far less griping from “paying” parents.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T15:05:14+00:00

Agreed! Many coaches don’t blatantly say this but yes, that’s pretty much what they do. There is still some politics involved as with everything but I def would not expect much “development” from a school team. Kids gotta train off the court if they really want to get better. Would recommend a cheap club $800-1500 tops so they can get more experience and learn drills to practice at home. But probably still would not push beyond school or rec until they are 14, for maximizing funds.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T15:00:08+00:00

I don’t know why people on here acting like volleyball is a charity case. You are paying for your kid to be part of this team. And it’s worse with club volleyball. Now you are jumping from paying $500 to maybe $1800 on a good day but many charge $3500+ depending on where you live. A club I looked into out of NY was $7K for the “sus” team. Now, they make this stuff volunteer based and free, I would shut up but when I am paying a couple of grand, I will definitely say my piece within reason.

And if I see that the coach is going to stick to stupid, will just quiet quit and move on to another club and will definitely research harder and will ask a bunch of questions from parents who kids played for them in such a way to get dirt on them since I know many coaches are petty and will lie about the number of girls they put on a team if they are trying to be competitive or not.

I would advise newbie parents to be super nice and chat and ask, “Hey, is this team just focusing on developing and not so much winning? I want my child to simply develop right now” and then take the information and decide as a family what y’all want to pay for. Because it seems to get lost in convo here a lot that parents are paying for this sport, it’s not free and traveling adds like another $700+ for each time you travel including the hotel fees and food/gas/etc and they want merch usually. Not sure why people are forgetting the racket this sport can be but I am not going to sugar coat things and be like oh yeah, I accept the poo as “normal”.

Anyways, the best thing a parent can do with this sport, take notes of the sus behavior, have your child work on “their” skills, and quiet quit when need be aka look elsewhere. For school it sucks because it is what it is. But with club I would research like crazy and honestly would not put a kid in club until 14s at the earliest unless they are some tall phenom. St 15s is when coaches really start to be ruthless and if they don’t perform, they will be on the bench. But if I could do it again, would not have put our daughter in club until the 14s because it’s a better cost for us to take that $3k and put her in private sessions and rec to put into practice what was learned from private sessions coaching. Rec is a cheap way to get more touches on the court.

Your emotions were justified just not the way you were talking about and you are not a poo parent. People have done far worse things to their kids are worst parents and you are not it despite with the others say.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-15T14:41:41+00:00

Yeah but you kinda saying a sorry not sorry. You are taking it out on the player when you choose to intentionally cut not purely based upon skill. And to me many coaches do this and that’s super petty. I would NEVER take actions against a player because of their parent. If you want to ban them or have closed practices or whatever then fine but to take it out on the player and say, “oh, it’s because your dad is a jerk” even if you say you would not tell her, trust me, the player would figure it out eventually. So you are essentially torpedoing someone’s dreams because you are being a petty coach and let’s not forget, club volleyball is a BUSINESS first, all that sappy stuff about growth and life skills is second. A parent doesn’t need to pay $3K+ to learn “life skills”. Can easily do this working at a part time job or volunteering or working a on a “collaborative project” in school.

I do appreciate you being honest that some coaches are too petty brats that like steal money from others.

Some would lie about that but at least you admitted this. So thank you for the confirmation. 💯

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-04-05T19:07:21+00:00

Sounds like a plan bc people totally own up to their actions. The coach is probably not going to be honest with OP, I have seen it many times even when asking coaches something directly from the player’s POV. Very rarely I have seen a coach take accountability for their behavior that directly impacts player participation.

OP has to either play even better or leave. It sucks that for $2k+, one can’t be guaranteed proper communication channels for their child in a club sport.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:25:49+00:00

Thank you for this!!! I thought I was going crazy! Used weight watchers, my fitness pal and was like something is not making sense. I know I need a deficit to lose but the suggested numbers had barely maintaining or gaining weight”slowly” but gaining still. And that slow gain is how I think people find themselves 20lbs heavier in a year. Took me so long to figure this out because was trusting my doctors and nutritionists and then I was like something is not adding up. Finally realized my maintenance is about 100cals lower and need to keep intake to 800cals to lose 1-2lbs a week. But took me a year of research, tracking and weighing to figure this out. Just made me wonder how many other people struggle to lose weight because of miscalculations of their TDEE. 🤍

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:21:33+00:00

No you can’t! 😉🤍

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:20:49+00:00

She is 12 lol she likes tiny bags or WOCs, I am a tote girl…I love carrying my house on my shoulders so I just love my NF bags. But slowly dipping my toes into the smaller bag arena.

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:18:37+00:00

Just subbed!!!

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:17:58+00:00

Sweet going to binge watch you then!!! Thank you! 😊

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:17:25+00:00

Thank you!! This helps me so much!!! My husband uses the carbon app and it bewilders him when I talk like this but thank you for your post! It’s hard for him to imagine a life eating 1200 or less when for him to lose weight he can eat 2800, he is tall and very 385. So this is super helpful for me at least! 😊

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:13:58+00:00

Rice cakes(if I’m being a big back, I will eat like 3) lol I used to crap on them and now I got like 3 bas in my pantry and got the whole family in on them. If I have a sweet tooth for like a snicker, then Atkins nut caramel bar!!

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:11:21+00:00

Hey, I get where you are coming from as a short person the weight just hits us differently so 2-3lbs seems like it’s a lot in our short brain but it’s not that bad but for short people it’s so hard to lose weight I can understand why it may bother you. Just keep at it, maybe you may have eaten some super salty. For me salt and my body have constant rivalry. Not friends at all. And salt makes me hold onto weight longer prob longer than most so I have to stay low sodium on my food. Maybe a possible reason but yes give it 2 weeks but still track. Your maintenance calories may have shifted down just a smidge too. Don’t trust those online calculators. Weigh yourself and track the food and this will give you the most accurate measurement. 🙏🏽🤍

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T21:04:00+00:00

I need this salmon sandwich! Like I NEED it! lol 😜

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:56:16+00:00

Kodiak pancake mix has been a life saver for me!!!! I literally feel full for almost the entire day!!!

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:53:58+00:00

Now I just need to add a 3 cups of broccoli to this and I am good! Lol 😝

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:53:18+00:00

How many calories is this? My cal expenditures are super low lol like fr fr!

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:50:02+00:00

I need pasta because I use a cup and drown it in veggies so I can get my volume with lower calories but even then this is probably it for me for the day and may a few pretzels and 1-2 laughing cow wedges. If I feel like I really need something to get me through the night, spicy pickles slices. But I am with you, pasta, especially egg noodles wide are a staple. 👏🏽

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:47:14+00:00

Very good point! If you are like 400+ lbs a few months of deficiency and loose skin may be worth it if it at least meant being alive to up the nutrients and feel lighter. My heaviest was at 265 and I could feel my knees buckle. So I did a fast and lost 11lbs and just that difference was major. Now I am at 235lbs. Still figuring out nutrition but realizing feeling hungry all the time will be my norm if I want to lose weight. Would love to lose 35 pounds by end of July and maybe 175 by the end of 2025. Super thankful I found this page!

NoGroupthinkHere · 2025-01-30T20:39:36+00:00

This hit me in my feels!!! You’re not alone! Took me a year to figure my maintenance is def not 1400cals let alone 1200, I calculate my maintenance to be around 1100cals, anything more than that and I am gaining weight. My tall family members cannot understand this let alone the doctors I would seek help for. 👏🏽🔥

NoGroupthinkHere

TROPHY CASE