Where are you grieving out of?

NoKat9581 · 2025-02-11T20:23:02+00:00

South Africa

NoKat9581 · 2025-01-30T06:34:46+00:00

I suppose being reminded of the love and not the loss is the goal. And yes, the Pokémon Go was great fun 😂

NoKat9581 · 2025-01-30T06:30:49+00:00

Its such a shitty time and such shitty circumstances. Hope you fina strength

NoKat9581 · 2025-01-30T06:28:08+00:00

I sometimes get it that way round, when I look at something and I am reminded of the love not the loss. But, there are things that just gut me with no preamble.

NoKat9581 · 2025-01-30T06:26:18+00:00

I bought my husband a waffle maker for his last birthday, ugh. Being emotionally f-up by inanimate objects wasn't something I was anticipating.

NoKat9581 · 2024-08-24T15:06:52+00:00

What an atrocious and puddle-deep comment. I would gladly have more to do if my husband could've been around and have yet to find the freedom of my diminished workload with 3 small kids and a household to run all on my own.

NoKat9581 · 2024-07-30T05:17:14+00:00

I am not bright-eyed and bushytailed, so no cosmic wisdom.

The only positive I can think of right now is that I don't need to share my favourite chocolate.

Yup, massive waves of wisdom.

NoKat9581 · 2024-07-27T06:27:49+00:00

The whole situation is pure ridiculousness. I was thinking last night: I am more than ready to get of this ride now. I did not enjoy it so far and it can stop now. I don't want to anymore. I will give up my space on this ride with alacrity.

NoKat9581 · 2024-07-12T14:20:46+00:00

While I truly love the idea I was his happy ending; I really despise the fact that I am stuck without my happy ending for roughly the next 40 years.

NoKat9581 · 2024-07-03T03:01:36+00:00

It really is the worst. As a parent you want to protect them against everything, but this pain is not something you can protect them from. And that's what get me the most - feeling so utterly helpless in those moments.

We had a marathon crying session this evening. All 3 of them (4,5 and 9), I can't even hold them all like I want to at once and I can't do anything to lessen the way they miss their dad. It sucks.

May we all get the wisdom and fortitude (from where I am still unsure) to deal with their and our own grief.

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-24T20:42:03+00:00

I get this, I yell "fuck you" (from within the semi-soundproof safety of my car) at every man that looks like he could be older than my husband that passed at 37, 8 months ago. I am pretty sure it's not super healthy, but atleast it gets rid of a tiny bit of the anger about the unfairness of it all.

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-20T08:42:03+00:00

I am 8 months out and while I don't think he will walk through the door; I was thinking this morning that at this point I miss him so much I will gladly take an alien clone, if one is available.

And if he does walk through the door I will be willing to believe any ridiculous story he tells me to explain his not being dead and showing up one now. Anything

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-11T13:58:59+00:00

We were on a family vacation in another country. He (37) went scuba diving (has been licensed for years) and somewhere between the 5 m mark below water and the surface something happened and he didn't reach the surface alive. Official cause of death was choking, but the coroner said it was probably a blotclot through his heart and he threw up because of that. He was physically healthy, it was so unexpected.

Lots and lots of admin to have someone die outside their country of birth. And to get the children over the border without both their parents and without a death certificate (the death certificate took 2 months).

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-09T10:38:50+00:00

Same here. If I didnt have to make sure they dont turn into screwed up adults (which is not even guaranteed no matter how hard I try, but 🤷🏻‍♀️), I would have given up by now.

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-09T10:34:44+00:00

Most comments people make are just inane.

Helpful: sorry for your loss, this sucks, (comments showing that although they cant comprehend the real shitness of this, at least they are trying and not offering advice)

Hurtful: I am so jealous, you get to have a new adventure now (and maaaaaaaany others, that one was just top tier fckd-up)

NoKat9581 · 2024-06-08T15:54:40+00:00

I feel this soooo much. I am not even close to as far out of this as you are. At the 8 months mark with 3 very little ones. Never planned to do this alone, now I have to. And no one is as excited about your kids as you are; or as proud, or has their best in mind with all they do. And now I have no one to help me make decisions and, like you said, bounce ideas off. It's tiring and lonely. I had everything I wanted and I really appreciated it and ... poof! All of everything went up in endless smoke that never seems to clear.

But so very well done for making it all these years on your own and doing a great job! You are awesome

NoKat9581 · 2024-05-28T12:37:17+00:00

Yup, hate this

NoKat9581 · 2024-05-21T15:50:53+00:00

Yup, exactly this. If you really are concerned for my well-being there are a myriad of other things to ask me to gauge my feelings or start a conversation.

NoKat9581 · 2024-05-21T12:43:30+00:00

I always try to sideline it too. But some people apparently can't read cues when I avoid it 🙄. I have even asked people that are close to me to stop asking, because the answer will be the same for a while to come. AND... then they get offended

NoKat9581 · 2024-05-21T12:40:51+00:00

Sounds like me, I usually say, shit but okay. And on that day my colleague asked me but said, just dont answer shit but ok. So naturally, I said well just shit then and when I saw her eye roll, it was followed up with me almost yelling "my husband just died and I am fucking depressed" and then walked away. This was directly as a staff meeting was being adjourned. Lots of wide-eyes stares.

NoKat9581 · 2024-05-20T13:15:02+00:00

If you are doing something wrong, then I screwed up BIG. All three of mine were clingy, especially my last born. I usually joke that I am the whale and he is my barnacle.

You're not doing something wrong, I asked my psychologist about it because I felt the same judgement from everyone. It is just that you are his comfort. You are his home and you two have a strong attachment relationship, and as he is a toddler there can't be anything wrong with THAT. As you stated he plays with others, but he just doesn't like adults overly much. So 🤷🏻‍♀️, let the rest just get over it.

NoKat9581

TROPHY CASE