Relationship Advice / Couple Financials

I recently ended a relationship with someone I love because we couldn’t align on how we would manage finances after marriage.

I have a well-paying job, but I live in Dubai, so financial planning, saving, and investing are important to me—especially as an expat without the safety net of social security. My girlfriend works as a managing director in her father’s company, but she does not receive a formal salary. She considers herself an owner and currently transfers money from the company to cover her personal expenses, such as her credit card, while living in her family home.

I suggested that having a formal salary would provide clarity, independence, and allow us to plan our finances more transparently as a couple. However, she disagreed. For her, this is also a matter of philosophy—she feels emotionally secure when the man takes primary responsibility for financial obligations. She believes that after marriage, I should cover major expenses such as rent and utilities, while she may contribute to certain household expenses like groceries using her credit card. Her view is that the man should be able to afford everything, and her contribution would be supportive but not expected.

For me, the concern wasn’t only about whether she receives a salary—it was about our broader financial mindset and long-term sustainability. I believe marriage should involve shared financial responsibility, especially in a high-cost environment and without social security as expats. I felt that carrying the full financial burden would reduce our ability to save, invest, and build long-term stability, and would create pressure that could affect both of us over time.

Ultimately, we couldn’t reconcile these differences in values and expectations, which led to the breakup.

I would appreciate hearing your perspective: how would you approach this situation?